Help - dd (19 weeks) won't feed in the day

[ninja]

Well she will but only lying down somewhere quiet! (and as I'm breast feeding you can imagine that's fun when we're out and about!)

She used to be a great feeder - frequent and fast, a few weeks ago she started to get nosey and now she just screams if I put her anywhere near the breast. Consequently we're getting more than our fair share of night feeding.

BTW not intersted in a bottle (except to chew and not being weaned yet)

Any ideas would be greatfully recieved

[Karen99]

Hi ninja, Just met with a friend yesterday with a dd the same age as yours and she's had success with a soft spout on a cup rather than a bottle, or hard spout.

As for the breastfeeding, have you tried different angles, get her lying down on a pillow across your front? When my ds is like this I hand express some milk into his mouth whilst he is crying near my breast. He then latches on for a few sucks and sometimes comes off again crying. I just keep trying untill he calms down and eventually he starts to feed. Sometimes he's in pain and I bring him up for a burp, or a bottom burp comes out. Sometimes he's like this when he's too hot or overtired.

Sorry I can't be of more help, my ds is only 12wks!

[mears]

I would say don't pander to her ninja. If she is truly hungry she will feed anywhere

[ninja]

Thanks Karen - I was thinking of trying a cup as it'll come in handy later on, I have tried different positions but she just gets more and more franticunless I lie down

Mears (if you come back) that's what my mum said! (don't you hate it when they're right ) I'm just worried that she seems to be feeding more in the night - and I don't like to see her go hungry - would you suggest trying to ignore her then?

[olliepolly]

babies at 19 wks are typical age for one of these growth spurts/stormy periods where they are learning new skills.Often the unsettled time lasts 24 hrs or up to a week followed by a more settled time again.Changes in feeding habits are often a feature so stick with it and things may soon resolve.

[mears]

Ninja - sorry I wasn't too helpful. What I was meaning really was that I wouldn't resort to lying down to feed her during the day. If she is hungry she will feed whatever position you are in. She will pass out of this phase fairly soon - babies have such strange foibles You are right that she will feed more during the night if she is not feeding very much during the day, but she will sort it out again soon. I think you will just need to ride it out and try and stay calm over feeds during the day. You are doing brilliantly well by the way

[ninja]

Thanks Mears - you were helpful, it's better to hear straightforward advice!

We were away in Ireland last week and her behaviour was brilliant but I guess it was all a big change to what routine she has and lots of new people and places so that probably didn't help - she also got her first tooth and I wonder if another is coming?

Having said that she's screamed when I offer her the breast in the normal position and when I lie down she wolfs it down so she IS hungry but I guess not hungry enough!

I don't mind if it's just a phase - I'll even put up with the broken nights (it's not as if she's ever slept through!) I'll keep persevering (oh and I was looking for an excuse for more naps )

[Karen99]

Ninga, just a thought, could she have an ear or sinus infection on the way? When she sucks on the breast her airways close and maybe she's getting pain being up-right, but not when she's lying down? I know that when I have a sinus pain it is usually better in certain head positions than others...

When we give our ds a bottle we have to have his favourite music on to keep him calm, does your DD have some favourite music which may calm her enough to feed not lying down?

HTH

[ninja]

Hi Karen, I'm really bunged up at the moment so maybe she could be - I'll look out for it. I think it might be the closeness though, I'm experimenting with different positions so she can feel a bit more independent and it seems to be getting a little better. I like the idea of the music, it certainly does calm her down.

How's all the expressing going - remember to keep using that bottle, dd is going to a nursery soon and I'm desperately trying different kinds of drinking recepticals!

[Gooby]

ninja - don't believe this, seems our two were separated at birth - was just about to create a post entitled 'HELP my 18 week old won't feed in the day' and saw yours first!! So, I feel a little heartened by the fact that my ds isn't the only 'weird baby' around (that's what I've named him for now). Hey, you might even feel more positive about your lying down thing - ds won't feed in ANY position in the day (well he'll take 2 mins every 3 hours and that's IT!), and hasn't really bothered much with daytime feeds since he was about 10 weeks. I've tried the whold darkened room thing but he's just not interested. I suppose he's in a vicious circle now - is so full from his lengthy leisurly night feeds that he isn't hungry in the day.

I'm considering shortening his feeding times in the night (pulling him off the nipple after say 6 mins instead of 10) but am worried this will make him feed even MORE frequently in the night as his tummy won't be as full. So can't decide on that one for the mo.

My ds hasn't taken a bottle yet (although we've only tried once) either, as I was wondering if I'd be able to get more in him in the day using a bottle rather than getting frustrated with him thrashing around at the breast.

I must admit to being envious of all those 'normal' babies out there who actually eat in the daytime. I also wonder what his eating future is - it's been soooo long now I can't imagine the pattern reversing. I really wanted to long term breastfeed but it's going to put me right off if it's something we only do in the middle of the night!

[Karen99]

Hi Ninja and Gooby, it's funny that I've been writing on this thread as my 12wk ds has just started to show the same pattern! I've been working really hard to start him to sleep through the night. We had two very good nights, but since then it's been the usual 3/4hr wakeups for food - that's more than in the day. He gets so distracted with the TV, things on the nearby table, or my T-shirt that he only feeds for 10min on one side and then nit-picks on the second (he has always been a consistent 10mins each side for the last 6 weeks). And the gaps have increased to 4-4.5hrs in the day! This is starting to leave me V V uncomfortable on the "rejected" breast. ARRGH!

I know these troubles aren't as great as yours at the moment, but there must be "something in the water". Perhaps it's the change in weather again? It's gotten v. hot down here and he also went off feeding in the day back in July/early Aug.

I will try the cut-down at night option tonight and see if things improve over the weekend.

Hope things are going better for you both. x

[ninja]

It was definitely the hot weather that caused problems last time (that would be when she was about 12 weeks Karen) - she's definitely better this week, no screaming but like you Gooby only a couple of minutes at a time, she was always a fast feeder but that's ridiculous. I've been trying to offer more frequently as I'm worried about my supply getting lower in the day.

Last night was better though, woke at 11.30 but back to sleep quickly then fed at 2:00 and 6:00 - I can cope with that.

As for the feeding - I'm still experimenting, best so far are the boots spouts but still she justs chews, shouts, takes the odd sip and maybe swallows! Oh well. Going on holiday on Monday (just booked it) so now I'm feeling a lot more relaxed about it all

[Karen99]

Glad to hear Fri night was better Ninja, hope last night wasn't too bad.

Do you have a b-pump? That will help stimulate during the day and once she takes a bottle/beaker you can give it to her then. But I know how much hassle it is to express during the day, never seem to have the free minutes!

My DS didn't like the taste of the silicon teats so we put some Infacol on the end (which he had for colic) and he started to take it. Later feeds didn't need it once he got used to what he was getting from the strange contraption! We've continued to give him atleast two bottles a week to make sure he doesn't lose interest. However, the days/nights we do use them I get very uncomfortable boobs and my milk supply gets out of sync for a couple of days as I find expressing with an electric pump over stimulates my supply (even though I'm expressing to get the relief!) He still doesn't take the bottle happily though...

Is the Boots spout a soft one? I'll ask my friend I mentioned earlier to see which ones she uses. In other strings I've seen people suggest a Heinz soft spout but I'm not sure where you can get them from.

How are things going Gooby?

[Karen99]

Sorry - meant to say Thurs night!

[Gooby]

Interesting thoughts about the weather, maybe that does make a difference. I was thinking about the feeding habit thing again and realising that he didn't totally give up on daytime feeds since going off them a bit at 10 weeks - it's gone in patches since then - and there have been odd patches between then and now when he would have a little bit more in the day than he is doing now. So I suppose it could be weather related.

Whatever the cause am keeping my fingers crossed for a new 'phase' soon! Can't remember if I thanked you, Ninja, for recommending The No Cry Sleep Solution, but if I didn't - thank you. I haven't started on it properly yet but it's got some useful stuff in it - I know from another thread Karen that you've read this too. I wish more people knew about it, perhaps it would encourage people to try other things before using CIO methods. Anyway, enough of my rambling!

[Karen99]

Hi Mums, just to let you know that I found a soft-spouted cup in Tescos over the weekend. It is larger than the normal cup spouts and looks nothing like a teat- it was their own brand trainer cup for 3+ months.

DS has just started to guzzle again after being off food in the day for the weekend. Maybe these phases are related to growth spurts (and/or the weather)??

Yes, the NCSS book had some good ideas. I definitely agree about the wind-down and peaceful build up to bedtime. It has made a difference for us even at 3months. If he stays in the lounge he gets over tired very quickly (TV, noise etc) so we have one-to-one time for about 30mins from the moment I see the sleepy signs and he falls off much more easily (SORRY I know this is a BF thread!)

Let me know how things are going.