My lovely FIL passed away a few weeks ago. He was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with terminal cancer 4 weeks before we lost him so all happened quite quickly.
He wanted to come home to be with his family so my DH was able to spend lots of time with him in his last weeks which i fully supported. I also helped with his care but not as much as DH as I work and we have dd (4yrs) and wanted to keep things as normal as possible for her but we were both with him when he passed away. I found it more helpful to do shopping and errands for MIL as dd could come with me so I helped more in that way.
We are all still in shock I think. He really was the most lovely, generous, funny man who from the minute i met him made me part of his family.
My DH is obviously still grieving but am so proud of how hes dealt with it and how he was there for his family which makes the way Im now feeling even worse! He went back to work the week after(said he needed to for himself) and was going his DMs after returning late after I'd gone to bed. I understood why but dd was missing her daddy so we had a chat and he then came home after work. So since then he has been at home for our evening meal but as soon as dd is asleep he goes to DMs till late. If I do dds bedtime he is gone when I get downstairs. I have spoken to him briefly as dont get much chance when dd is awake and he said that he promised his DF he would look after his mum so thats just the way it is now.
I get what he is saying but am so scared that this really is it now. Am i being selfish to resent sitting on my own every night? I know he has lost a parent and MIL has lost her DH but they have each other and Im grieving and have no-one. Cant go to see friends as no babysitter. MIL comes to our house at the wkend (at my invitation) and I love having her here and so does dd. I just miss my DH so much but prepared to be told (gently) I am being selfish, needy and unreasonable as thats how I feel!
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Am I being selfish?
7 replies
Mrsmagoo22 · 06/07/2016 19:15
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NavyAndWhite ·
06/07/2016 20:44
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NavyAndWhite ·
06/07/2016 21:54
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