Post mortem. Probate. Etc.

[madasamarchhare]

Lost my darling Mum at the weekend. Dad died 10 years ago. Feel so lost and alone like there's none to look out for me any more. It was a sudden death so Iam waiting for post mortem to be done. How do you then register the death? Do I have to get probate. Do I need to use a solicitor? It all feels so scary and I have so many questions but nobody I know has been in this position. Feel like there's a million things going on in my head and a million jobs to be done. But can't do any yet. And I miss my mum so so bad.

[defaulttodippy]

I am so sorry to hear that your dear Mum has passed away. Sincerest condolences to you. I'm sure you must be feeling very shocked and upset and my heart goes out to you.

My Mum passed away suddenly last year ( Dad died in 1985), so I know just how you feel.

I too felt lost. Almost like I was unsteady on my feet...sort of rocked my world. But as my dear Mum used to say" life goes on" and over time you do start to feel more at peace (although it does feel very sad still to have no parents left).
My Mum had to have a post mortem too. The coroner phoned me to let me know cause of death. I had by then contacted my local funeral director, so I asked them to liaise with the Coroner to collect her and take her to their premises.
Once the Coroner has released your Mum you will be able to register her death. Look on the Gov.uk website and it will tell you what to do and where your nearest registry office is.The coroner can also guide you.

I didn't engage a solicitor as Mum's estate was quite straightforward ( house and a couple of bank accounts ). You can request the probate forms ( or download them )and they are fairly easy to fill in. You then have to attend probate court ( really not scary...you just zip into a little office and swear you are you ). Info on the same Gov.uk website.

I made loads of lists, as like you, I felt there was loads and loads to do and I lay awake thinking about it all ( as well as grieving ).Getting it all down on paper meant I knew it wouldn't be lost and I'd get to it eventually.

Sorry for the long post. Please try not to worry about everything. The funeral directors and Coroner will point you in the right direction and help you sort the first arrangements out.

Thinking of you. Take care of yourself.
XX

[Yorkshirebornandbread]

Thinking of you - have you any family who can help you.? X

[madasamarchhare]

Thank you for your kind words. It's just not the sort of situation you hope to ever find yourself in. I have family who are wonderful thank you for your advice.

[Hillfog]

So sorry, I lost my DM in 2011. It truly sucks.

I did probate myself and sorted it all without a solicitor. The gov.uk is really helpful and I got a Which? Book - 'What to do when someone dies'

Make a written list of all the services, banks etc you need to call and keep track of who you speak to. Some will need forms or death certificate sending to them so make sure you keep track with good notes.
When you register the death they have a Tell Us Once service so other government depts like tax, passport etc get advised at the same time.

Just take it a day at a time, there's no rush with most things and it is a hard and difficult time x

[Hillfog]

Oh and get more copies of the death certificate than you think you'll need, at least 3. I kept having to send one to different people to close accounts, credit cards etc so it saves waiting for copies to come back.
Sorry, it doesn't sound very sensitive but I just wanted to be of practical help.

[madasamarchhare]

Thank you Hilfog no not at all it is all things we need to know. When you have probate are you able to use funds in the account to pay for the funeral or is everything frozen?

[Beachday]

The bank can release funds for the funeral without probate.

I found some people wanted to wait for probate, some were happy to deal with me, I think it depends on amounts.

Wrt probate, you can fill in the forms and then swear the oath at a local solicitors for £5. I found them helpful, e.g they told me that London office had a backlog, so send to Brighton.

Funeral director - ask for their help, that's what you're paying them for.

Sorry about your mum. X