I miss my dad

[OutDamnSpot]

Nothing else to say really. He died last September after a long illness. Everyone was very kind at the time. Life is going on, I enjoy my job, have 3 lovely DC, about to buy dream home. But I still miss him.

Every time I think of him the ache seems to be stronger. I can't believe it has been nearly a year since I spoke to him and I hate that I never will again.

I thought it would be easier with time, but having coped fine at first, more and more I am carrying this ball of sadness that he is gone. And I miss him.

[vintage47]

Hi Spot
I am sorry that no one has answered your message that has a more recent experience. I lost my Dad when I was 11 and I still think of him, all these years later. The only way to deal with this is to understand that it takes a long time. How many years did you have your Dad in your life? After less than a year you have not had nearly enough time try to live without him. The bond between you cannot be broken or lessen in 1, 2 or more years. Just go with it, cry, talk, especially to your children/partner/ family or do whatever you need to do. Remember the good times, cherish the happiness you had together.
Kind Regards

[Badvoc123]

Please pop on over to the bereavement board.
There is a support thread for those of us who have lost parents.
I am very sorry for your loss.
It's a year for me too and it's hard x

[heyday]

There is very little that any of us can say to ease your pain. Bereavement is one of the worst pains in the whole world. I lost my mum several years ago but I still have really sad days when I cry over her. You have lost someone you dearly loved and that takes a long, long time to come to terms with. Not sure that we ever quite get over the loss of a dearly loved one.
Concentrate on all the wonderful things you have in your life now. Allow yourself time to grieve, it's such early days. That ball of sadness is a very heavy load indeed to carry around. I just hope that the really bad days become fewer and fewer for you over time.

[gymboywalton]

it's grim
i lost my dad 3 years ago and it sucks-i miss so much

but i am able to feel at peace with his death if that makes sense-he was suffering when he died and he's not now

but god-i'd love to sit next to him on the sofa and have a gab

i guess what i am trying to say is that it does get better-but it never goes away

[missorinoco]

So sorry. I found the first year the hardest after my father died, and the time coming up to the one year anniversary was tough. it was both that I hadn't seen him for that length of time, and that I wouldn't see him again in this lifetime.

It's been many years now, and it gets easier. I worried that when I got easier it would mean that I had forgotten, but actually, I haven't forgotten, it just doesn't hurt to remember.

Go easy on yourself. Get out pictures and letters/cards, and cry. It is hard, and it hurts, but it will hurt less.

My children talk about things I have told them my father said even though he died long before they were even thought of.

[OutDamnSpot]

Thank you all. I didn't think I wanted replies, just to put down what I was feeling, but it has helped to read your experiences and kind words.

He was so ill his death was a relief in a way, but that feeling is gone and now its just the missing him. And because i'm busy and because life has to go on, I try not to think about it too much but it is getting harder and harder and thoughts and memories keep on popping up. I guess this is what is meant by grief being a journey.

Thank you all for your kind words.

[LittlePink]

I lost my dad in april this year. I don't know where I am with the grief but I have various different emotions popping up all over the place unannounced, some irrational anger, some numbness, a lot of disbelief, alot of feeling deeply sorry for my mum, a lot of not being able to think straight, like I want to think about the time of his death to process it but I've blocked it out for now. It doesn't seem clear at the moment. Guess its all normal for the grieving journey.

I miss him dreadfully and I watch videos of him over and over sometimes trying to remember what his voice sounded like. Sometimes I can hear it in my head and other times I cant remember what he sounded like. I talk to him every day and ask how he is. I sometimes ask for guidance with certain things. Hes still around, I just wish I could feel him around. A lot of thinking hes with me leads me to think im just imagining it and I doubt whether I can feel his energy or not.

I don't really know what to say, other than the first few months are really hard. Not sure about the next few years but as others say you don't forget, it just gets easier.

[OutDamnSpot]

So it is 1 year today since my dad died. I have been distracted by hosting dc1's 8th birthday party. But I so want to hear his voice, have him laugh at one of my stories...

I have almost no photos of him and I regret that fact so much. I used to talk to him every Wednesday as mum was out and I didn't work that day. I miss our talks.

This is just another random spew of "I miss my dad" - and I do know it will get better but it is hard to believe its been a whole year since he was here, or to cope with the fact that period will only ever get longer, he is not coming back.

Love and miss you Pa, for always xx