Acknowledging my Daughters Death

(52 Posts)
Triumphoveradversity Wed 01-Jan-14 11:39:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilyTheSavage Thu 01-Jan-15 07:35:36

Hi Triumph
It's good to hear from you, and I'm so sorry you've had some sort of breakdown. I've thought about you and wondered how you are.

I hope you're feeling stronger now and that the help and counselling are doing some good. It's a shame about your job, but you can only do as much as you can do. Maybe it's something you can go back to when you're feeling more up to it? I'm really glad that Christmas wasn't as bleak as last year.

Hang in there. Keep in touch if you're up to it and would like to.

Sending you love and strength. thanks

Triumphoveradversity Thu 01-Jan-15 00:32:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilyTheSavage Fri 17-Oct-14 20:06:23

Hi Triumph.

Just checking in to see you how're doing.

Hugs. xx

VilootShesCute Wed 15-Oct-14 22:07:33

Triumph, I'm just sending love. It's been 6 years since I lost my daughter, life changes more than we could ever imagine doesn't it. Just no words to do it justice sometimes, so I tend to not talk. I hope you're doing okay.

LilyTheSavage Wed 04-Jun-14 13:41:06

Hi Triumph.
I'm sorry about your breakdown but it's not surprising given everything you have to deal with. I hope the counselling helps. I had counselling but don't know if it helped or not.... I don't know how I'd be if I hadn't been IYSWIM.

Hope the funeral goes ok. I think it will probably be difficult for you. You're so brave to go.

Georgethesecond Tue 03-Jun-14 09:15:09

I wish you strength at the funeral and I hope you can remember the
Positive things about your friend. You will get through all this, really you will.

Triumphoveradversity Tue 03-Jun-14 09:04:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilyTheSavage Thu 08-May-14 07:56:11

Hi triumph
Just checking in to see how you're doing.
thanks

LilyTheSavage Mon 31-Mar-14 10:35:37

Hi triumph.
Just checking in again. Glad you're finding the counselling helpful. Hope yesterday wasn't too painful. It was ok for me. My two DS rallied round and made lunch and were lovely and we just chilled together.
I wish I could dream about my DS2. Did you find your dream comforting?

Take care of yourself. cake

Triumphoveradversity Thu 27-Mar-14 13:06:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mojito100 Thu 06-Mar-14 22:50:25

Triumph - just checking in like lily. Take care of yourself. By the way I have jus re-read all the posts here and don't think it would hurt if you told your SIL where to go. She sounds insensitive to you and DH and someone needs to make that clear. Don't see her if you don't want to and if she is due to come to yours feel free to tell her not to. This is about you and not her.

LilyTheSavage Mon 03-Mar-14 07:12:00

Hi triumph
How're you doing? I haven't heard from you for a while so I'm just checking in.
Time for a brew

LilyTheSavage Sat 01-Feb-14 08:34:07

What Mojito said. The randomness and unpredictability. Oh my goodness!

Mojito100 Fri 31-Jan-14 14:30:04

My thoughts are with you. I lost my DD and even though I acknowledged it and am dealing with my grief I understand where you are at. There are things I still do or say that are personal to me. I only ever refer to her as having passed rather than she has died. The latter seems so final and I'm sure some May view it as denial but it works for me. I fully support what has been said before. We all manage our grief our own way and the only thing I can say in support is that you are doing what is right for you naturally and to keep flowing this path. Trust in yourself completely and do whatever feels right instinctively. This approach has worked for me. Not a day goes by I don't think of her constantly and I hope that never changes. I am sure tears and an overwhelming sense of loss will find you. It's hard but go with it and accept however you cope to be right for you. On those special days such as birthdays etc I act completely normal and keep it all in and on random days I may cry my eyes out because of the utter hopelessness I feel and the tragedy that has occurred. Be kind to yourself. My heart and thoughts are with you.

LilyTheSavage Fri 31-Jan-14 13:05:04

Hi Triumph. Well done for starting the Pandora's Box - it's a good way of describing it. I've been seeing a counsellor as well and I wanted to do it as I had such terrible images in my head that I couldn't share them with somebody I loved or even cared about. It's a good idea that she's helping you a little at a time.... more manageable I guess.

Enjoy seeing your friends and be kind to yourself.

Triumphoveradversity Thu 30-Jan-14 23:04:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilyTheSavage Mon 20-Jan-14 06:43:46

Hi Triumph
I was thinking about you.
Sending you love brew

itinerant Mon 13-Jan-14 20:56:47

I've pm'd you (my first ever mumsnet pm!)

Paintyfingers Mon 13-Jan-14 20:40:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Triumphoveradversity Mon 13-Jan-14 20:31:30

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hello there triumph, just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and your DD, wondering how you've been this week thanks

LilyTheSavage Tue 07-Jan-14 03:18:15

Hi Triumph. I'm so very very sorry about your DD. I do know exactly what you're going through as my DS died almost 5 months ago. He was 21. I haven't coped very well and have been going for counselling which I think has helped. I have some lovely supportive friends and my DH, and 2 other DSs but I still miss DS2 every single day.

We went to see the ILs at Christmas and they didn't mention DS once. They didn't ask after the other two either. I felt stabby and violently angry. They aren't bad people but are just wrapped up in their own little world. I still feel stabby!

If you'd ever just like to chat please message me. I'm going to mark this thread so I can see how you're doing too.

Sending you much love flowers

CoddledAsAMommet Sat 04-Jan-14 21:12:45

OP, have you been in touch with SADS UK? They're a charity started by my aunt when my cousin died of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome when he was 16. Do give them a call - they're amazing and will help with whatever you need. The phone number is 01277 811215.

Triumphoveradversity Sat 04-Jan-14 19:20:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'm so pleased you have felt able to write about your dd on MN. I'm confident you will find comfort here as there are, sadly, many bereaved parents here. Each of us grieves for our child differently, but you won't be alone.
It sounds like you have a great friend too, I hope you are getting lots of support in RL.

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