My son is 15 today and noone has remembered

(157 Posts)
sosadaboutmyboy Tue 13-Aug-13 18:26:52

Today my little boy is 15.

Its been 15 years since I held him in my arms and promised to love and protect him forever .

Its been 15 years since I saw his beautiful face frowning at me like he was annoyed with me for giving birth to him because he was nice and cosy.

Its been 15 years since I attempted to dress him for the first time and failed miserably because I knew nothing at all about babies, everything fell off him.

Its been 15 years since I knew what unconditional love is, and knew that I could suffer anything for this little person I had made.

It has been 14 years and 7 months since he died and I knew, in that moment my life would never be the same, the sun would shine that bit less brightly and when I am happy there would always be a tinge of sadness too.

He was my life then, he is still part of my every day life now, I have photos all over my house, I took his clothes out of his box earlier and held them to my face, but I can't smell him on them any more, I held his teddy bear close to me and closed my eyes and tried to feel if he was around me, but I couldn't feel him either, I feel like I am in physical pain today which is made all the worse by not one single person remembering, not even my husband (he isn't his dad). Everyone just got up as usual and has been doing their usual things, people have called and asked for favours and had general chit chat, I just want to scream at them all and go and curl up into a little ball until this pain passes.

I don't really know why I am posting, I just want someone to know he is real and he is loved and is never forgotton. I don't get how someone so important to me, and whos death has shaped my whole adult life can just be nothing to those around me. Its like just because he was born and died so long ago that he doesn't matter to anyone else now.

Please feel free to ignore this, I just needed to vent somewhere.

(I namechanged for this just in case someone does recognise me, I have been on MN for a long time)

Hellonewworld Tue 13-Aug-13 19:25:00

Happy Birthday Scott x

FieryChipotle Tue 13-Aug-13 19:26:24

Happy birthday Scott and mummy xxxxxxx

hufflebottom Tue 13-Aug-13 19:26:30

thinking of you op, happy birthday to your son.

xxx

Platinumstart Tue 13-Aug-13 19:27:19

I'm so sorry. I lost my darling boy four years ago, people only remembered because they were reminded sad

Look after yourself today and enjoy your precious memories

Steben Tue 13-Aug-13 19:29:12

This post has moved me to tears, I hope someone in real life can support you OP xxx

FriskyMare Tue 13-Aug-13 19:30:13

Happy Birthday Scott xx

Love to you sosad.xx

Remembering Scott on his special day, and thinking of you sosad flowers

exoticfruits Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:30

It is hard- you can never imagine that the world can carry on without them. Lots of love- he is alive in your heart, which is what matters. I am sure that love lives on.

Choccyjules Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:33

He matters to each of us on this thread, even though we never met him. He sounds a real character. Sending you lots of love as you remember him. Don't be strong, just be.

BoiledEggandToastSoldiers Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:49

Happy Birthday to your dearly missed son Scott. x

MissStrawberry Tue 13-Aug-13 19:35:59

I am so sorry no one has remembered, OP.

I hadn't realised you had posted in bereavement so when I saw he had died it was a catch in the throat moment.

The love you feel for your son comes out so fully in your writing and I am so sorry he died.

MissStrawberry Tue 13-Aug-13 19:38:12

flowers cupoftea.

I haven't seen any posts from you for a while but I just wanted to say there is one person here, and plenty on MN, who still remember Beatrice Primrose and still think of you and your family and wonder how you are.

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 13-Aug-13 19:39:37

Happy Birthday Scott!

sosad you are lovely, your beautiful brown eyed boy and you are in my heart tonight xxx

MrsHoarder Tue 13-Aug-13 19:41:40

Wishing Scott a happy birthday. Those we love never truely leave us flowers

PeppermintPasty Tue 13-Aug-13 19:42:28

Happy birthday to your beautiful boy, forever loved. And much respect and love to you sosad xx

sosadaboutmyboy Tue 13-Aug-13 19:45:15

I don't even know what to say apart from thank you to you all, to know that so many people have taken the time to read about Scott and acknowledge him has moved me to (more) tears.

I am so sorry cup gerard imip and platinum that you are also in this crappy situation. The world is not a fair place.

OnTheNingNangNong Tue 13-Aug-13 19:45:16

Happy birthday Scott. Much love Sosad

Happy birthday Scott. I'm sure somehow he knows how much you love him.

For the first time ever, a thread has moved me to tears. Am going to give my boys a big hug now.

Big hugs sosad xxx

Happy Birthday Scott. Big hugs for mummy x x x x x

chickydoo Tue 13-Aug-13 19:52:24

Happy Birthday to your son
You are in my thoughts
Xx

DizzyCow63 Tue 13-Aug-13 19:52:34

Happy Birthday Scott x

Today is also my nephews birthday, and I promise I will think of Scott every year when I wish my nephew a happy birthday. Hugs for you OP xx

LizzieVereker Tue 13-Aug-13 19:53:06

It's not self pitying to remember your beautiful boy thanks , I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Happy Birthday Scott, thinking of you xxx

MarnieMadden Tue 13-Aug-13 19:55:12

Happy Birthday Scott x
I'm sorry for your loss OP x

You have painted a wonderful picture of him, I can really see him in my mind's eye.

Happy birthday beautiful Scott xx

Happy birthday Scott.

Be assured that he - and you - are in the thoughts of many tonight.

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