Am i overeacting??? Advice needed on what to do?

[mummy23]

Its been going on for a little while now but my DS1 is always acting differently when we go to see his grandparents (my dp's parents), and it is really annoying because he is as good as gold as soon as we return back home!

It all started when he wanted his paddling pool out so we got it out, then we was shooting each other with the water pistols and he would start screaming at us telling us to stop it and snatch the toys of us and threw them in the pool!!!

Then he was crying becase he wanted his pool table out but i said that he could not have it because he was being naughty, and his nan went and got it out after i had said NO!

Then at dinner time he was eating dinner until his nan said that he can have ice cream after dinner and that was it, he said that he had finished, after eating 1 potato!!!

I told him that he cannot have ice cream until he finished his dinner (did not have to eat all but most of it), so he stood there with them hump bottom lip hanging out), and when i had finished eating i went to the garden and left him to eat his dinner!

Then 2 minutes later, he was in the garden with an ice cream and a big smile on his face, so i jumped up and went to see how much he had eaten, and surprise, surprise he had not eaten another bit of his dinner and had been given an ice cream!
But by this time, his nan was throwing his dinner away(i think she was hoping that i would not check to see if he had eaten any more?!)
And i said to her that i said my DS1 could not have ice cream until he had eaten more of his dinner, and her reply was "sorry, i didn't hear you say that and it is hot today, maybe he aint feeling very hungry"

Well that was it, i told my DP that i wanted to get going because they always seem to know my DS1 better than me. But after we left i thought to myself, he has eaten his dinner all week even though it has been hot and not complained!

My DP has told them before about them not listening to what we say and they still dont listen, and its making us argue!

So what am i suppose to do to make them listen to me because it is really making me hate taking my DS1 round there if they aint gonna listen to what i say!

I really someone else's advice, from someone who dont know me, and what they think i should do with my situation???

We also have a DS2 who is now 11 weeks old, but luckily he is not old enough to understand anything thats going on, and my DS1 is going to be 3 in November!

Any advice greatly appreciated, and thanks for reading my long post (sorry btw, i needed to have a good rant to get it out of my system!)

[PeachyClair]

You know what, i think you have typical Granparents situation! Many of them do this, and although it is REALLY (believe me, I know!) annoying, it's relatively harmless, as long as you don't let it cause intra-family tensions.

Most grandparents etc do the treat thing to show love. Some see it as a part of being a Grandparent, others give the treats they couldn't give their kids when they were young.

If you need to say anything,explain (as basically as you can) that Grandma really loves him and that is why he gets spoiled there because that is what Grandma's do. It's Mummy's job though to teach him how to be a little man, so you can't always give him to him. TBH though unless he starts trying to bring the behaviour home I would ignore it. Don't get involved.

[tarantula]

sounds just like my parents too. They are like that and I have to say I just let them get on with it. My motto is xxx happens at Grannies house and yyy happens at home and dd will soon learn the difference just like shes learning that granny has heart failure if she climbs on anything and fusses if she falls over (which drives me mad) whereas mammy level of fuss is 'oh dear never mind'. Kids generally learn pretty quickly whats acceptable and whats not to different people