emotional maturity...............how to help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[magali]

We've had a mad few years, moving about the place and have finally settled down somewhere - I'm hoping for the next few years. I think all the moving about has had a cost. I've noticed that my older dd, 6.5, has recently started hanging around with some girls in her class who are extremely immature, annoying, and babyish. I can totally understand - in my head - that she feels insecure from all the moving and needs to be with girls who are unthreatening - it's a very pushy, academic school which feels like a ladies' academy of the 1950s (it's a state school!)and is full of very bright, confident little girls with reading ages of 10. My daughter is academically bright but not particularly confident. The problem is that she has adopted some of these behaviours - she has always had excellent speech, and has started using baby talk "me want that" etc etc. One of the girls she hangs around with is very loud, charmless and clueless and I find her almost intolerable. Writing this down I realise I sound like some 1950s dragon mother myself, but although I understand my dds need to be with unthreatening friends, I can't stand to have them around and I don't like the way they are influencing her - and I think I am "leaking" my disapproval. Any thoughts?

[shrub]

i would disassociate her behaviour from the girl/s in question. so when she is saying or doing something undesirable say 'oh are you pretending to be *?' i wouldn't feel guilty about disapproval either ,i think children need to know what's acceptable for their age and what is considered 'little' or 'immature'. you could give a word that you and your daughter are happy with and then discuss her and her friends behviour when it happens? could you try a club/group outside of school to further help her confidence and meet more people - swimming/riding/judo/nature type of thing?

[spacedonkey]

I think sometimes children "regress" a bit in their behaviour - perhaps as a response to change/anxiety? I wonder if it's a way of looking for more attention, or wanting to be "babied". I should think this will pass as she gets settled.

[Berries]

Both of mine went into 'baby talk' at around yr1. Absolutely hated it & pulled them up on it every time - 'talk like a toddler & I'll treat you like one' etc. They both got bored with it fairly quickly, so I wouldn't worry too much about that, it's quite common. Would be more concerned that you don't like the group of girls she is with. Think I would be actively encouraging other friendships. from another Dragon Mother