5 year old answering back

[codswallop]

my pal has a ds same age as mine - well he's 5 - and she is driven mad because he answers back all the time even in the most heated of tellings off

eg "oh well you have hurt my feelings" " or its your fault I am upset" This drives her Potty and she wasnts some advice how to sanction him and have the last word/upper hand.

[codswallop]

anyone?
I told her someone would be bound to help!!

[CP]

Have no experience of this so perhaps I should not post but here goes anyway... Could your friend pretend she does not hear the childs final remark and simply let it pass by? My mother used to tell me that my comments like that 'fell on deaf ears'.

[codswallop]

Hmm he tends to get a little hysterical.and is quite a strong fellow. Its all tiredness based and so gets out of hand.

[CP]

Ah, sorry - no further suggestions I am afraid but wish her good luck.

[codswallop]

thank you any way

[CP]

That's ok, wish I could help really. Apparently I was a difficult child and I think I turned out ok but I am sure that is no help here is it?

[codswallop]

LOl!

[tigermoth]

I agree with the deaf ears approach. It sounds like this boy sees it as a game.

When my son got mouthy at this age and I had gone beyond the reasoning stage with him, I used to say, 'I won't have that attitude' and send him to his room.

If he wanted to know why, I would say once ' you don't answer me back when I'm telling you something' if he answered back again I didn't respond, just kept repeating 'go to your room, now' if he didn't I'd start threatening to ban favourite toys etc until he did.

At times like this you have to slip into boring parent mode, keeping calm about it though. You stop the present going nowhere converstion with you child. Sending you child to their room for five minutes is a good way of doing this. You make it clear you will return to being nice mummy once they return to being nice son.

HTH

[noodlekanoodle]

I am new to this, I don't know what all the ds, dh, dd1 means so I will just give this a go. I have a 5 year old boy who was very vocal when he didn't approve of something I asked him to do. He would yell at me screaming "No I don't want to" and then fold his arms. When he was younger he would just scream at the top of his lungs and head butt the floor or a wall. If things didn't go how he wanted it to, we would certainly know about it. I did the same as tigermoth, I just told him calmly (most of the time) not to answer back and after a while, (what seemed like ages) he started settling down. Now if we ask him to do something, or we say he can't do something, he tells us calmly that he isn't happy about it but he generally walks off and thinks of something else to do. Or if I have asked him to do something and he doesn't want to I generally have to go with him to get him started. It took persistance in being firm, never letting him get away with it, sending him to his room for quiet time, banning him from the playstation, things like that, but it has seemed to work for the most part. Be firm, persistant and explain your reasons for the dare I say "punishment" for his behaviour. Well it worked for me.