A little perspective please........

[batey]

O.K. then, my dd2 and I have been struggling of late and I'm not sure if it's me? Maybe I'm expecting too much or maybe it's her age-she was 3 end of April.On a good day she's lively, funny, chatty and lovely to be around. However on a bad day, and we've had more of those than anything lately, she's ridiculously clingy, whingy, moany,stubborn etc. And not nice to be around.

She goes to nursery 2 mornings a week and is very happy there, we have gym/toddlers/visits to friends etc. And dd1 to play with after school.So lifes not that bad for her! So why is she such a PITA!

She's especially difficult over mealtimes.Finding any way possible NOT to eat, by chatting too much,moaning about a speck of this or that, arsing about in any way to the point we've all finished. After much hanging on dh and dd1 will leave the table(as they finished pud etc)and then maybe she'll dain to eat when it's just me and her at the table with much distracting/bribery from me.

So, is this normal for a 3 yr old. It seems such a long time ago that dd1 was 3 I can't remember. And she was also pretty reasonable by 3 (v.much into the big sis role by then).Or am I just a horrid old cow of a mother and expecting miracles.Help!!!!

[babster]

You're not a horrid old cow. (Unless I am too of course ). My dd1 is pretty much the same age, and she can be terrific, funny, helpful, good to her baby sister... or whingebag from hell, trying to test boundaries at every turn. I'm pretty sure it's normal. It isn't half costing me a lot of money in wine though

[crystaltips]

I think she's just trying to test the boundaries ..... and she's pushing all the right buttons !!

[Ghosty]

Batey ... i hope it is normal as my DS is going through an awful whiney stage too. (3 and a half). He is worse when DH is around ... I think he likes to play us off one another and some meals can be awful!
I am just trying to grin and bear it and hope it is a stage he will soon grow out of!!

[butterflymum]

batey,

You sound as if you have been in my dining room this evening - only for dd2 substitute ds2 and for dd1, ds1 (mine)!

As the saying goes, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.......

[prufrock]

Batey you are most definately not a horrid cow, I really do not want to criticise you, because I've not reached the delightful age of three yet and am having enough problems dealing with the willfullness of a 13 month old. But I have just finished reading Toddler Taming, and it does sound like a classic case of her seeking attention, and realising that by not eating you will give her lots of attention. Have you tried ignoring her and letting her miss a few meals - she won't starve herself.

If I'm talking completely out of my a**e please don't tell me - I'd quite like to carry on believing that I have strategy to cope with anything my little darling will throw at me in teh future - for at least a few months

[MABS]

Batey - sounds like you've got my dd too.....unfortunately she's 8 now, and getting worse all the time.Sorry

[crystaltips]

prufrock - Toddler Taming was my "bible". Even though in some places it states the obvious - I found that when I was desperate and could not see the wood from the trees - I needed the obvious !!

[batey]

Thanks for the replies. So we're "normal" after all!!

Prufrock, I have tried with her missing meals,and I know I should be consistant. But she is soo stubborn she gets to the point where she dosn't care whether she eats or not. But then an hour or 2 later she's haning off my leg wanting food. Although she's only allowed fruit. Or she'll wake at 5am saying she's hungry, and me saying "you should have eaten your dinner" goes right over her head. Long term it is the right thing to do....it's hard to do though, when sleep is prescious!!And I hate starting the day with her moaning.

[prufrock]

batey I said I didn't want to know if the solutions don't work. If I can't hang on to teh belief that I will be able to fix anything she throws at meI may give her away before she gets to three

Sorry if I stated the obvious

[batey]

Prufrock,don't worry!! Like Crystaltips, I need the obvious!!

[suedonim]

Yep, very normal, Batey. My dd2 is a mirror image of yours, it would seem. It is a control thing, to some degree but I guess she (my dd, not yours!) also just has a moany, whingy personality, at times. She was furious and angry the moment she emerged from the womb and things haven't changed that much since! It has to be said, though, that this behaviour is reserved exclusivey for me. She never does it for anyone else and so they all wonder why I am whinging about her, grrr! Good luck.

[mmm]

It just ain't that easy is it being a parent? It sounds perfectly normal to me, my dd8 was moaning only yesterday that dd13 months falls over on purpose and cries so that she'll get attention and has a cold on purpose too. Sometimes I'd love to send them down t'pit!

[motherinferior]

My dd is nearly 2 and a half and swings between being the most gorgeous, loveable girl in the world and a whiny, cross tantrummer. So glad to know I'm not alone - God parenthood's hard!

[batey]

Just wanted to say thanks again. We've had a much better day today, as I'm less stressed about the whole thing, and, she's eaten really well!!

Hope it lasts.........!!!