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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Helping a 22 month old move house happily

14 replies

miranda2 · 20/05/2003 22:28

I have a 22 month old son, and in 2 weeks time we are moving house. At the same time (well, a week later) I will be starting a new job, and he will be changing nursery. We've spent the past three weekends at the house doing decorating etc in advance of moving in, so it won't be totally strange to him, and I've read him a couple of books about moving, but I'm worried that he will be traumatised by the process, especially since it means changing his fulltime childcare too. Any tips/reassurance?

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NQWWW · 20/05/2003 23:19

My ds was 25 months when we moved a short while ago. He seemed totally untraumatised by the whole thing, although we did nothing special to prepare him other than talking very positively and excitedly about "our new house". He loved the excitement of the move, watching the van, exploring the boxes, etc.

A friend of mine has also just moved - she had very negative feelings herself about the move, and this has affected her dd, I think, who found it a lot more difficult to settle than my ds.

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SoupDragon · 21/05/2003 08:27

DS1 was 3 and DS2 1 when we moved. They never even noticed! DS1 occasionally asked when we were going back to our "little house" but was happy to accept we weren't.

I've read the suggestion that you should let him see that all his things have been packed away safely so he doesn't think they've been left behind.

Can you have a friend or family member look after him on moving day? We didn't and it was hell.

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StripyMouse · 21/05/2003 08:59

My dd (similar age) found moving house surprisingly untraumatic. She seemd to be more concerned about her things rather than where she was.
We just made sure that we packed her room up last and put a box of her bedding, main toys, curtains etc. in a separate box in the car and made sure that we assembled her room first so that she felt at home. We also kept a good supply of favourite picnic food and roped in family to distract her while packing and unpacking.
We took photos of our new house before we moved - just the outside and garden and showed them to her all the time over the last few weeks and talked about our new home to her so that it might be a little bit more familiar - if possible this might be a good idea - or even the house flyer you get from the estate agent.
I worried myself silly over how she was going to cope and yet if anything she seemed to thrive on all the activity and excitement.
As for the childcare, i don?t have a lot of experience as i am a SAHM but he might surprise you and take it ieasily. If not, don?t worry, just keep reassuring him and he will adjust in his own time. Lots of love and attention must be the key. Don?t feel guilty about any of it though, child are generally flexible and learning about change in routine is just another of life?s lessons. Good Luck.

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edgarcat · 21/05/2003 09:44

Message withdrawn

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JaneyT · 21/05/2003 13:02

dd1 was 22mns when we moved - she had been in the house several times when I was choosing the carpets, and had become acquainted with her new room.

They both went to nursery on the day of the move, and when we picked them up them came to the new house - and she never even mentioned the old one - she had the same furniture in her new room, and we had new curtains put up before she arrived - she was just excited not upset !

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miranda2 · 21/05/2003 22:04

Thanks everyone - very reassuring. He'll be going to his old nursery on the day of the move, so hopefully we can have his room all set up and unpacked before we collect him and bring him to the new house. Mind you, I'm not sure I'M going to get through this untraumatised - new house in 12 days time, new job in 5 weeks, and husband off in Germany on business this week and then (would you believe it!) off to a STAG NIGHT the two days immediately before the move....

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NQWWW · 21/05/2003 23:25

He must be doing something really good to make up for that one......

Good luck with it all!

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griffy · 22/05/2003 00:02

Miranda - I'm meant to be moving next week and have similar angst, so you have my full sympathy.

When we moved last July, though - when DS was 19 months - he didn't really seem to be too bothered. He asked to go 'home' several times, but was pretty fully adjusted within a week or so (unlike me!).

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Batters · 22/05/2003 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sabbath · 22/05/2003 13:23

I moved about a year or so ago, with two children, one was 3 and the other nearly 2. I often thought about what affect it would have on them, but it had the reverse, my son was much happier in our new house and started talking more (he was the younges), and has really come out of himself. My daughter also wasn't affected and liked the new house. It has more room than the old house we went from a two bedroomed house to a four bedroomed house, and the space is wonderful. We have settled in so well.
I suppose seeing as your child is still very young, i would say the younger they are the better, because when they are older and have friends so they won't want to move because of them. Not much help really, but just to say things don't always go as you think they will. I was worried and things worked out ok for us. Hope they do for you.

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miranda2 · 10/07/2003 17:02

Just to say thanks everyone - we moved very happily three weeks ago (its taken me this long to sort out internet connection!!). As predicted by you lot, ds totally unbothered by the move. We did have screaming and leg-clinging when I left him at the new nursery for the first couple of weeks, but that seems to be tailing off now thank goodness. So anyone else out there moving - don't panic like I did!

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ames · 10/07/2003 18:36

We will be moving house in about 10 days and even though I've read all this thread am still very nervous about how dd is going to take it.

She is now 17 months and a brilliant sleeper, loves her bedroom and will happily talk herself to sleep!
After I found I was expecting no.2 I did the 3rd bedroom up as a little girls room for her but whenever we tried her in it she screamed (she was about 15 months at the time) We decided it was easier to put her back in the old room rather than spoil her sleeping pattern. She would happily play in it during the day but not have a nap or sleep in there.
Maybe I'm worrying about nothing but I was wondering if anyone had experienced any problems like this when moving. And any advice from those who have survived most welcome!

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amy17 · 14/08/2003 04:38

i just went through the same thing with my son there is no sure fire way i dont think to be assured he wont be upset but i dont think it will traumatise him.
My son was a bit put out of routine we had a few sleepless nights and he was a bit clingy but that only lasted about a week we have now been in our new house for 1 month and he is as good as he was befor we moved