Nearly 3 years ago, I gave birth to the re-incarnation of Mao Tse-Tung and Stalin rolled into one, with more than a little of me in the mix.
So far, my parenting style has followed the advice of somebody on here (I think I'll blame you Aloha) who said to choose the battles you are willing to fight with a toddler. But I think this has led to dd believing that it is right and just that she should get her own way on everything. Now don't get me wrong - she is a lovely child, and usually very well behaved, she's just so incredibly bossy. Here are just a few examples:
Dh gets 2 yogurts out of the fridge for ds. "I want those ones" said dd, alhough she hadn't quite finished her last mouthful. So she was given them and dh got out 2 more. "No, Daddy, I will have that red one and ds can have this one" said dd - so we swapped.
I get a dishwasher tablet out of the box. Before I open it dd rushes over "No mummy, I want to get it out" - So I put mine back, and she gets one out "here Mummy - you can put it in and I will close the little door"
DD is building mega-blocks. Ds (11 months) is happily chewing away on one. Despite there being hundreds of other blocks on the floor, some of which are exactly the same as the one ds has, dd decides she wants his. So she gets another block, gives it to ds and takes the one he had away. He cries, and when I tell her to give him his block back she says "no Mummy - we are sharing them, he can have that one". As ds has now stopped crying I say OK.
DD's friend S is playing. They are pretending to have a tea party. S has the red cup. DD wants it. I say "No, S has it, why don't you have the green one" "But I want the red one" says dd. She then proceeds to pout in a way even Jasmine from MMAS would think OTT, and put her face mournfully into S's until S (sweet, pliable girl) gives her the red cup.
These may seem like small incidents, but we have them all day. And I'm worried that if I carry on giving in for an easy life I am just storing up trouble. OTOH, I don't want to cause conflict where it's not necessary.
If she ever does go "too far" - which atm I see as forcefully taking others toys (as opposed to manipulating them away), or the very rare occasions she is overly physical with ds, I do put her on the bottom step - and she will come back all sweetness and light and say sorry. And lately if she is told No to anything she stomps away in a huge sulk, sometimes even shutting the door of her room, saing "I am sad now". We tend to ignore this, and she will reappear sooner or later in a happy mood.
Goodness this is long. Thank you for gettiung this far - now do you have any suggestions on easy ways for me to nip the bossiness in the bud before she grows up to be me?
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Behaviour/development
How do I stop dd behaving like a dictator
19 replies
Prufrock · 04/04/2005 14:37
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