8 month old screaming at mealtimes

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

I would say about 75% of time he screams at lunchtime and teatime (not so often at breakfast). He's eating most things now and is very keen on finger foods, but less so on being spoon fed protein/vegetable based meals (he's totally happy to be spoonfed yoghurt, puree or porridge). I'm finding it incredibly stressful and am racking my brains to work out why he's doing it - dont' think it's the highchair as he's done it in other places and on my lap, don't think it's always cos he's tired. He has his 2 bottom teeth, 1 of his top two with the other coming through.Can anybody give me any advice? Has anybody else experienced this?I feel like all my friends' babies eat beautifully compared to ds2!

[fairylights]

my ds has gone thru phases of this (he is 17 mo now), he did have times of being totally impossible at mealtimes.
I think i started off on the wrong foot when he wa first like this and really tried to make him eat, but then i just figured that he would eat when hungry and immediately gave up trying to feed him when he got upset - really didn't want to him to start associating misery with mealtimes!
Also, as i am sure all the baby led weaning crowd will wisely say, if he just wants to eat finger foods then let him, my ds is MUCH happier when he can control his own destiny and this is def the case where food is concerned, so even if its something that would coventionally be spoonfed, i often just let him grab at it, its v messy but at least he eats! (doesn't work with soup though.. )
This has pretty much worked, and i do think in retrospect that he screamed at times when he was teething/getting sick. Babies have a great way of just not eating if their body is not up to it, wish i was the same
whatever happens, i think just try not to stress about mealtimes, i think they really pick up on it and as a friend of mine said (who is a GP) "biology is on your side, he will eat when he needs to!".

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

Thanks fairylights, I will try letting him just eat from the bowl himself (though the thought leaves me at the inevitable mess!). I am trying really really hard not to stress about it, but am finding it almost impossible as I'm worried that he's not eating enough (he's quite small for his age). I'm sure he's picking up on my stress... I would be happy giving him finger foods if I thought he was getting enough nutrition from them.It's just so irritating when you spend hours cooking up Annabel KArmel's finest only for him to scream the house down and then only eat cubes of cheese and bread...

[fairylights]

yes i have to say that making lots of effort for it only to be wasted seems to make it a whole lot worse! I would say that cubes of cheese and bread is a relatively balanced meal - maybe a couple of grapes to add some "fruit and veg" ...ahem
that is my thinking these days anyway..

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

It sounds very much to me like he wants to feed himself (which is good!). This point always comes and the sooner they do it, the sooner they learn to eat with less mess, so you may aswell just crack on with it. This learning process is unavoidable - it happens at some point!

Perhaps just go hands off altogether and see how he gets on - he will enjoy the control and feel empowered and may be much happier to explore different foods.

For porridge - make it up slightly more thickly and he can scoop it in with his hands.

Yoghurt - add some rice crispies to it to thicken it up and again he can shovel it in.

I think it's way too early for a spoon probably - just put down some kitchen towel around his highcahir, sit back and rest in the knowledge that you can fill your cupboards with J-cloths very cheaply for mopping him up afterwards!

Fingerfoods: just sit and have a think about what you could eat if you didn't have any cutlery and hey presto! The other thing is that he may like food in separate bits rather than all mixed up together?

Cheese
Cucumber
bread and butter
Apple
Omlette
Baked potato with cheese
Macaroni with tuna, veggies and cheese sauce
Spaghetti bolognase (with veggies hidden in the sauce)
Fish fingers
Pancakes
Toast
Cheesy tuna toast fingers
Boiled egg
Bits of meat
Fruit
New potatoes
Baked salmon
Cherry tomatoes (halved)
Mozzarella
Pitta bread with melted cheese, spinach, tomato in
Quesadilla

etc

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

The other thing is that they seem to go in phases of only eating cheese and bread and then only fruit and then only pasta etc etc - that seems to be completely normal and you should look at what they've eaten over a week rather than by the day.

Two paediatricians have told me that they can survive perfectly well on absolutely no solid food whatsoever for a week and that they just won't starve themselves.

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

oh for soup, we have a very small bowl with soup in and DD can dip her toast fingers in to it if she wants to - she always does for the novelty value I think!

The mess doesn't last long - it's a nightmare when they first start but you soon stop caring so much.

Lasagne is also a good one - let it cool until it thickens up again and then chop it up in to bite size pieces and I promise there will be so much shovelling, that you will be amazed!

Also steamed veggies - they seem to love broccoli but not cauli so much.

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

Wow, PTIYPASI, thanks, that's all really useful stuff, especially all the ideas for fingerfoods. He definitely prefers eating himself, but it is very frustrating to watch.. I'll just have to chill out about it and trust him to eat when he's hungry! He's been a bit better about eating today - no screaming at lunch time and tucking in to steamed veggies, bread and pasta. Let's hope he keeps it up

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

Oh well that sounds brilliant!! I find that DD eats one decent sized meal a day on the whole but can go for days where she doesn't seem to eat much but she's perfectly healthy and I trust that she eats when she's hungry and at her own pace.

She eats better if she's fiddled with less too - i.e. no wiping up during the meal or pushing certain foods towards her etc. We just leave her be until she's finished (could be one minute or half an hour).

If he seems to be getting frustrated by something like a rice dish (by the way you can make it easier to pick up by stirring cheese through it - it makes it more clumpy), you can try offering a spoonful but if he doesn't go for it, throw the spoon away immediately and just make sure there are definitely things he can pick up on his plate.

[CorrieDale]

Risotto goes down a storm with 9 mo DD. Also eggy bread, peanut butter on, well anything really!, crumpets, chips (but she's titchy and her brother is downright thin so I reckon I can get away with giving them chips!), bread dipped in soup, beans on toast. Anything really!

[MaeWest]

Just wanted to add fritatta to the list as we had this today - big thick omlette with cheese, sliced potatoes and loads of veggies. Allow to cool and cut up into finger food friendly chunks

[PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt]

How have you been getting on?

[desperatelyseekingsleep]

Up and down - have just realised that he has at least 4 teeth coming, which could explain a lot of the screaming. Some mealtimes he's absolutely fine, others are just hell, with him screaming as soon as we even go near the high chair. On the positive side, when he is in good spirits, I've been trying a lot of the fingerfoods you suggested, many of which have been going down v well! Have also let him eat most things with his hands - v messy but he definitely enjoyed it better than the spoon (not surprising if he's got teeth coming...) Had one particularly bad day last week when I bravely ventured out to meet some friends for lunch [bad idea!] He screamed all the way through lunch and didn't eat a thing Was incredibly stressful and have vowed not to go out for lunch again until he's through this "difficult" phase!

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

(pipe with a name change)...Oh no you mustn't worry about that - we've had plenty of meal times where they don't eat and it's just because they're not hungry for whatever reason - just let them play on the floor in the restuarant or pub / your lap with toys instead. Take the pressure off both of you and remember that there's always the next meal when he may be hungry. Don't curb your social life - very important!!!! The most important thing is that you somehow manage to poke something in your own mouth!!! I cannot stress strongly enough that it all works out in the end and he won't starve and if he's poorly / teething then he will actually need and want far less food than you are probably imagining. HE WILL NOT STARVE HIMSELF!!!

[Meandmyjoe]

I have exactly the same problem with my 8 month old ds! He can manage finger food really well but somedays (like yesterday!) just bringing a spoon towards him had him turning away and screaming to come out of the highchair. He's a bit highly strung about most things though! I used to get really upset about it and really worry that I needed to get food into him. Now I just go with the flow, if he'd rather have finger foods some days then so what?! As long as he's happy and he can always fill up on milk at this age so try not to worry too much. I also avoid going out to dinners mostly, ds seems incapable of sitting still sometimes and either me or ds end up pacing around the restaraunt with him while the food goes cold! It is gradually improving though, he used to be like it every day, every meal, it's getting better- slowly!

Keep trying the finger foods, often the only thing that keeps ds quiet sometimes!

[Meandmyjoe]

Oh I forgot to mention, ds is much happier to eat off the spoon if I just plonk a splash mat down on the kitchen floor, sit him next to it and offer him the spoon that way. Granted, it's not the most practical way but it beat a screamy and unfed baby! I'm not sure if it's related to ds' teeth, he has just got his first 2 teeth but he's be terrible at meal times since he went on solids a 6 months!

[Krsp08]

Hi there. The exact same scenario that you have described for my little one also 8 months. 5/7 days she will scream the house down at dinner time (no other meal time). I wittled it down to maybe she wants to feed herself (as she does this for breakfast and part of lunch) however she did the same thing with finger food last night. She is hungry because eventually she devours it but the screaming is really stressful and everyone always says to me that's not normal you should go to a doc etc.
Did you ever get to the bottom of the issue?