PLEASE HELP - DS AGE 3.5MONTHS HAS TURNED INTO SON OF SATAN

[kaa0901]

My dear boy whos nearly four months old has had a complete behavour change in the last three days. before this he would quite happily nap during the evening before going to his cot at 11pm (he's never been a great sleeper and this was he got some sleep whilst being with us).

anyway, friday night he howled from 7pm til 11pm when i finally put him in the car and he promptly fell asleep before i'd even turned the engine on . last night he cried again and eventually wore himself out at 10.15 and tonight its just started again.

he's not hungry, clean, not constipated, isnt ill, isnt showing any signs of teething at the moment, and even holding him cuddling him isnt soothing him. he actually ends up hyperventilating he's so upset which then makes me feel awful that i can't reassure him.

there hasnt been any change to his diet/routine/home environment that i can work out is causing this but i'm exhausted, DH is fed up and ds is actually crying real teams which breaks my heart. BTW have tried calpol, dentinox teething gel, warm milk, cooled water, warm bath

HELP!!!

[talktothebees]

inexplicable wailing like that in my DD always turned out to be trapped wind so maybe colief or rubbing his tubby. I'm not much help am I?

[kaa0901]

Thanks talktothebees - grateful for any reply! DH has just taken him into the other room and is giving him warm milk. at least he's stopped screaming to drink. will try infacol after.

i just don't know why it has only started friday when we havent changed his routine or milk

[Twiglett]

I would almost bet it's a growth spurt ..

babies change around this stage

don't worry it'll settle down in a week or so

(I would try to feed him more and also try some white noise?)

[talktothebees]

have you tried taking him up to bed earlier? My DD started going up to her cot at 8pm when I realised she was being unsettled and disturbed by being kept downstairs - too much going on. Perhaps try settling him down in his cot at about 6.30, before the crying starts?

[helenelisabeth]

I agree with talktothebees, my DD1 went the same at a similar age, we quickly realised she wanted to be in her own room with peace and quiet to rest properly. Worth a try? He does sound overtired to me. How does he sleep during the day? What time is his afternoon nap?

[Sycamoretree]

I don't know what it might be, I can only reassure you that we had similar freak attacks of screaming with DS at about the same age. He'd get so crazy he wouldn't even be able to feed, despite the fact he must have been starving. All I can say is IT WILL PASS, IT WILL PASS, IT WILL PASS...and probably as swiftly as it came. Twiglett is right, most obvious explanation would be a growth spurt, which isn't just about their bodies growing, but also their perceptions of the world which can be a bit freaky for them. I have a wonderful book called The Wonder Weeks which I bought a few years ago when I had DD, which helped me make some sense of these mad early developmental changes, but you can't take it too literally as every baby is so different. Sending you massive sympathy vibes and hoping you find strength to ride out this storm - I promise things will get better.... Also, talktothebees has a good point - once I started to get DS in bed by 6.30pm it was much better - he got so wired if he stayed downstairs with TV, telephone etc much beyond that. If all else fails, buy the white noise CD - another mum I knew found it life-saving and it also spared her poor hairdryer...

[kaa0901]

he naps from about 9-11 in the morning and from 2-3.30 in the afternoon which is fine. up until friday he would fall asleep about 7pm on our bed or on the settee and then have a dream feed at 10.30 before bed.

unfortunatly putting him to bed earlier is not really an option as i am going back to work next week and i don't finish until 8pm (dh at 8.30pm) so we wont be picking him up from the childminder until after 8 (this will only be 3 times a week so there is no way a 6.30 bedtime routine can be fixed).

when i am home i try to settle him with bath and milk early but he's just not tired at that time. btw overnight he's sleeping from 10.30 through til 7.30am which isnt a problem

i just dont get why he has started this uncontrollable crying the last three nights

[Octothechildherder]

wind or reflux?

[talktothebees]

perhaps he's picking up on your anxieties about returning to work or putting him in childcare? Of course, you may not be the least bit anxious about either of those things.......

[kaa0901]

unfortunatly (cos we'd know wot to do) but fortunatly (as he's a very healthy boy) neither xx

[Sycamoretree]

Sympathise with your work situation, and he will need a bit of chill out time once you get him home from CM's so you're right to try and set up his day towards a later bedtime. Does he have the bath and milk routine every night? Can I also asked how long your nerves allow you to let him cry when you put him down earlier before you decide he's not going to settle? [says this in nicest possible supportive voice, not in manner of strict Maternity Nurse type who would leave babe to cry for an hour] Mostly I still think you're just in a funny phase with him though, and he'll move on soon enough.

[kaa0901]

talktothebees - had thought about that but am actually looking forward to returning to work (i am a nurse) and have really missed it - although if money wasnt an issue i would be a sahm. matthew loves the childminder and has know her since he was born so that's not really an issue but i do think he is picking up on my frustrations. just have no idea how to deal with him.

[talktothebees]

unfortunately I think you just have to ride it out and see how he is once you are back at work. Things will probably settle down then. It's a good thing that he is so attuned to you but obviously it has its down sides.