3YO DD behavoiur is driving me nuts!!

[mum2GoogsandGoo]

Is it just the age or did I miss something at my Antenatal classes? My 3yo daughter is driving me mad - if I don't do what she wants or says I get an earful (I swear I should be put on the list for some hearing aids!!) a huge temper and totally uncontrollable and over-the-top crying fit. On top of this she thinks nothing of waking up and bullying her 8.5mo brother. I am at my wits end - I have tried to reason with her, divert her away from full-on frothy, chosen my battles with her and tried to be as consistent as I can be with her (I hope!!) I'll even admit to losing my temper daily with her , but it just gets worse.

My DH is away most of the day (the funny thing is that I wanted to spend time with my kids) and puts it down to a bad dose of cabin fever !! DH does help the situation during the weekend, but the weeks are just getting worse! I dread to think that one of us is going to be carted out of the front door ...

Any advice??

[HonoriaGlossop]

Well I think you're doing it right! Reasoning, diverting, choosing your battles, and consistency

Honestly, it will get better, it's just a child being a child - I know it doesn't make things easier to hear that but they are all like this and it seems endless at the time, but by the time she is four or five she will be SO much more reasonable....specially as you sound like you are doing really, really well with your approach to parenting her.

Keep going, don't lose heart, and trust her that she will be a lovely person.

[SenoraParsnip]

it could be a delayed jaelous reaction to her brother. do you spend much time with her alone? also star charts work better than you think with 3 year olds if you make the goals small (eg have a star if you're good while we're at the shops). but it's a phase, and it will pass - really!

[Ozymandius]

cabin fever is right. It's dark & cold. Christmas is over. School/nursery not back yet. It's a tough time!
Does she go to nursery? Sounds like she'd be perfect for it!

[Ozymandius]

In the summer you'd go to the park or stroll round shops, or put her in a paddling pool and invite a friend round to share a bottle of wine! This is a horrible time of year, but school/nursery can make it better, I think.

[mum2GoogsandGoo]

Thanks for your encouragement ! I am sure when she is at nursery (she begins in a week's time) and winter is gone, I will see a different child.

[ArmadilloDaMan]

3yos are awful.

They turn into horrors at that age.

the terrible two's are nothing compared to it.

[grannyslippers]

It must be the age. You have just described my DS. And me.

It's the shouting that gets me. But then I end up shouting back. What does that achieve?

[bubblepop]

sounds just like my 3yr old dd. honestly. the thing is it started when she was about 1yr old, now she's 3.5 and its still bad. ive got 3 other children and none of them are as much trouble as this one. at first i thought it was a girl thing, but now i just think its a personality thing. hopefully one day it will pass..she will reach the age of reason...until then i drink wine daily and eat lots of chocolate!

[cory]

I found the age of 3 particularly heavy going with both of mine. Put a lock on baby brother's door at this stage so I could go to the loo without the fear of murder and mayhem. Just hang on in there - it will get better and it's nothing you've done.

[mrsmalumbas]

It's an age thing - DD2 is just like this. She's 3. Complete charm and cuteness one moment interspersed with horrific head-spinning tantrums a la The Exorcist. My six year old is a delight though, and she was similarly horrible at 3. Just enjoy the cute bits when you get them (am sure you get them sometimes - although you might have to look hard!) and keep doing what you're doing. We all lose our temper sometimes, it's called being a Mum. Agree with other posters that getting out and about can help - had a blardy awful day with mine the other day so we went to the garden centre so she could run about and look at the fish in the aquarium section - it was lovely, and so nice to have a change of scene. I even got to sit in the cafe and have a cappucino. Do you have any friend with similar aged DD's? Sometimes just sharing the pain can make it all seem a bit easier!

[flop]

am so relieved others are still experiencing tantrums and stroppyness at 3. just had a nightmare of a weekend with really good friends of ours and my daughter was so mean to our friends little 2 year old. she didn't let him join in anything and had a couple of tantrums too - infront of a roomful of people - how embarassing!!! thought it was all meant to get better at 3. she's become REALLY whingy too. does anyone use the naughty step at this age? haven't had to use it before but thinking of introducing it now - trouble is - have a 5 week old baby so don't know if timing is wrong - what does anyone think? sad

[critterjitter]

Stay out of the house. I always found that the battles took place indoors. Do anything outside - park, farm, visiting, driving. Just keep going and going and going until she is worn out. Arrive home and put straight to bed. Exhausting for you, but better than battling!

Also, time out/ on the stair etc and star charts do work (the latter particularly if there is a barbie doll in the deal!)