Is this teething, or have i raised a clingy, whingy toddler??

[caspercat]

DD 17mths. Up till now has been a brilliant sleeper, plays brilliantly with her toys & loves books, goes to nursery 3 days a week with no probs. Only has 5 teeth still, and didn't seem to suffer too badly with those. Her 5th tooth just cut through gum so i thought we'd have a few weeks respite, but she's been awful for about a week now and it's getting me down. She's fighting her lunchtime sleeps really badly at the mo (used to sleep 90mins+), now varies from nothing to 20 mins. I don't think she's ready to drop it yet as she's really active, and now gets knackered by 4ish. She already seems bored of her Xmas toys unless i'm playing with her (played with them for hours by herself last week), and won't let me do anything which doesn't involve her (going to the loo, ironing, putting washing on). Just clings to my legs & whinges. Don't get me wrong, i love playing with her, but when she's been awake since 1.30, and the weather's too shitty to go out, i find it really hard to entertain her for 5hrs, without getting up to do something different. Is it likely that her teeth are making up for lost time & will all come in quick succession? Or is she just going to be needy & clingy?? How do i deal with the clingyness - just ignore her and carry on with what i'm doing, or give in to her??
Sorry is such a long post, but if anyone's experienced this and has any advice, would be v grateful xxx
And a Happy New Year to all!
P.S I have tried Calpol!

[caspercat]

bumping as desperate!!

[kaz33]

Relax

• loads of toddlers go through seperation anxiety, as they get more understanding of the world it becomes more scary. It will pass, you will just have her around all the time for a while. I wouldn't ignore her as she is just a wee mite who wants mum around. Also if she is feeling poorly that is about to affect her.

• sounds like she is ready to drop her sleep. It will be tough for a while as her body adjusts to less sleep during the day. The good news is that once you get it right she will flake out at 7pm and sleep 12 hours

[lizandlulu]

my dd was like this, and is still quite clingy at 2.2, but it did pass and it does get better.
i used to absoloutly hate being in the house on my own with her when she was like this, and would go anywhere to get out. i once went swimming with her at half 4 on a sunday afternoon as i couldnt stand the thought of being on my own till she went to bed at about half 7.
she will now go out with her dad, but if i am there, she wants me to do everything ofr her, not him iyswim.
about the sleeping, will she sleep in the car?
my dd still usually has a nap anywhere between 11.30 and 2, usually for around an hour, but she has to be in the car to go to sleep.
i know it is not ideal, but she is happy and i get an hours rest. i have to lock the car and sit in the front room so i can see her at all times (i park in the drive) but if she doesnt go to sleep then she can be so ratty at about 5.

does she sleep in her pushchair?i would just go with her feelings at the mo. can you have a walk to a library or just round town?
at least you wouldnt be stuch in the house with her whining

[whomovedmychocolate]

Yeah they do this- my 14 month old was the same for a month when her molars were coming through - consider switching to Nurofen for children - it is anti-inflammatory which helps reduce the gum swelling -apparently a major cause of teething pain.

She also clung to me mercilously, demanding breastmilk, eschewing solid food, throwing herself on the floor and beating her fists if I dared to pop to the loo etc.

IT DOES PASS!

It's not your fault. I just decided to go with it - poor little thing was clearly in a lot of pain.

[ceebee74]

You have my sympathies as my DS appears to be going through exactly the same (he is also 17mo).

Your post could have been written by me as it is so similar - in terms of being a brilliant sleeper, going to nursery 3 days a week with no problems etc. - and then these last couple of weeks, it has felt like he has been rattling around in the house bored stiff even though he got so many new toys for Christmas (when we have guests etc, he is the most charming, playful little boy - typical!!) This last week he started refusing to go down for his nap at the usual time (mid-morning) so we have moved it to after lunch which is fine but he now appears not to be tired at night - grr! Last night, he went to sleep at 7.30 and then woke up at 11.30, was wide wide awake and fidgeted and played in our bed for 2 hours whilst me and DH were doing our best to ignore him . He has also started refusing to be put in his cot awake at bedtime even though we have been doing it for months.

So no advice but just wanted you to know you are not alone - fingers crossed it is just a phase and they will pass through it soon.

(I have actually been counting the days until he goes back to nursery on Wednesday as it is SO SO hard keeping him entertained!)

[caspercat]

Thanks for all your replies. Kaz33 - i hate to say this, but she sleeps 7.30 -7.30/8am WITH her lunchtime sleep, and still is (lucky i know), so dropping her lunchtime sleep prob won't make much difference!! But good to know it's a phase!! And i know she would prob sleep in the car if i went out, but that hour or so break i get (or got!) while she slept in her cot is the only time i get to do housey things - i knew it wouldn't last forever but i was hoping for a little bit longer - selfish, i know.
ceebee74 - uncanny how similar they are. I feel like such a horrible mum cos i really didn't enjoy being in the house with her this afternoon. Poor wee thing, she obviously is in pain cos she seemed so unhappy & it breaks my heart. And bless her, she's still so good at night, enjoyed her bath and went straight to sleep tonight ( i hope your little boy fares a bit better tonight).
Thanks again for all your help - as with all these things, in a few months this will prob all be forgotten and we'll be onto something new!! Any more advice still welcomed...

[pamplemousse]

My dd is the same, so sorry but no advice just sympathy! She is 13m and will not entertain herself for any more than 5 minutes, however if I sit there and take things from her that she passes me out her toy box and then hand them back to her she is ahppy for hours, I am bored senseless after half an hour though and start noticing the dust and thinking about the washing/washing up/etc! If dh is home she is ecstatic and trundles around chatting to herself, its the same if we go to someone elses to play, no one believes me that she's a mad clingy wreck when we're home alone. Its not selfish at all to want that nap time back, I used to love it too.
Do you have a friend with a similar aged toddler? Maybe theirs is similar in whinginess or if not may cheer your dd up!? Even a pop out to my friends for a coffee seems to help my dd. (She doesn't have coffee!)
Good luck, and I will watch this thread for ideas as the frustration of not getting anything done is making me a bit mad...

[blueshoes]

caspercat, agree with other posters that it is probably separation anxiety and/or teething. Hopefully it will be a short phase.

Both my dd and ds are clingy, non-self-entertaining, mummy-obsessed babies and toddlers. I found nursery to be a godsend because they were SUCH different babies there - once settled in, were independent, happily playing with toys and other children, interacting with the carers, eating well, sleeping well. All the things they were not at home.

I put them in from about 1 year old. And it has been great for them and me. Is a session or two an option? Also, get out of the house as much as you can.

I would have gone mad at home with them. Rather than wanting to spend long periods of time with them, I could only watch the minutes on the clock tick by as I carried them, played with them on the floor, thinking of all the cooking, tidying, laundry, admin etc I could have done. Every room I walked into (and I had to walk into many over the course of a day because they got bored so quickly) was a taunting reminder of all the things I needed to do in there which I was not allowed to because of my demanding child. It was torture. I went back to work after a year without looking back, really.

They are lovely. But at the age your dd is at, in controlled doses. It does get better, or at least, different as they get older.

[caspercat]

Thanks again everyone. blueshoes, DD does go to nursery at the mo, 3 days a week. So i realise am only feeling it worse cos of Xmas holidays! Counting the days till Monday. Unfortunately don't have anyone i can visit in the days as moved here 6 mths ago, and we're a long way from family & friends we had. I am going to places where i can meet other mums, so hopefully is only a matter of time.
DD has been a lot better last 2 days. She's def cutting another tooth, so i'm afraid i've resorted to Medised to help with her lunchtime sleep. She's now sleeping 90 mins again, so she must need it! Is it ok to use Medised in the day?? Feel like i'm drugging her up, but she's just a grizzly nightmare without her sleep