Why is he so angry?

[NAB3littlemonkeys]

Picked up Ds1. All fine. Arranged for a friend to come over in the holidays and I thanked him for waiting nicely while I organised something else with another mum. On the way to the car he slips over and somehow it is my fault. He breaks half his sweet stick off which is on the floor. When I tried to talk to him and ask what was wrong he blocked his ears. Has come home and thrown all his sweets in the bin. Would only come down and clear up his school things he had dumped when I said he wouldn't be having his friend over. Is now in his room as I sent him there to calm down. He said he will never calm down.

I am worried but calm.

[claricebeansmumhasnomincepies]

End of term?
Worn out?
Over excited about Christmas?

[krabbiepatty]

How old is he? My 5yo has been shouting at me all week. I do think they still struggle with testosterone at that age. I like to think that anyway...
End of term definitely not helping.
I also wonder whether my grumpy 5yo has a bit of SAD...

[HowTheGibbonStoleChristmas]

He will calm down soon no doubt NAB - maybe try a gentle chat then?

[camillathechicken]

he will calm down

leave him to it for a bit, and then start afresh when he is calm. maybe take a drink and a snack up to him and have a little chat?

end of term turns all children into over tired hysterical wrecks!

bath and early night for all of you

[TwinklyfLightAttendant]

He may be angry because he senses you are depressed. I have had this sort of thing with Ds1 a fair bit over the last year, it was when I was feeling awful, they get angry because they perceive that you cannot contain them and all their little problems or moods. They need you to be blase about them, about everything they do. If you are feeling vulnerable and liable to perceive said moods etc as a personal attack (which I have felt like many times) they do get angry as they feel responsible for you when really it should be the other way round.

Does that make any sense?

[TwinklyfLightAttendant]

In other words they need you to be Ok.

My dad said once he wishes he had been able to be horrid and shout at his mother, without the awful guilt of having 'upset her' which was how it was treated. he grew up to be quite depressed, repressed etc...there were other issues too, not saying your son will be harmed at all. But it might explain where he is coming from? (You've met my dad...very polite and sweet but there is another side to him)

It is SO very hard to take everything they do on the chin, if you are feeling low. I do know how it feels, big sympathy

[krabbiepatty]

Twinkly speaks wisely I think. The more upset you are the more the grumpiness grows.
And who trains them to say "It's so unfair"?

[NAB3littlemonkeys]

I have been fine today so I don't think it was me and he was fine too until he fell. He came down soon after I posted and then disappeared into the utility room. When I went in to see if he was okay he tried to get away from me and then to go in the garage. I went off to ring DH and he got in the garage.

he is here back in a bit

[TwinklyfLightAttendant]

It can take a while after your recovery for them to get over the effect it has had on them...mine is often angrier once I am better, he knows I can take it when I'm better...when I'm actually really down, he keeps quiet. It comes out once I'm more 'Ok' again iyswim?

[NAB3littlemonkeys]

He is angry because he wanted to make Great Nanny something for Christmas. (She died on Dec 1st this year.) Some friends of his at school have upset him too. We have had a talk and some cuddles and he seems okay now. No idea why it suddenly went off like that. Now I have to catch Dh and say he doesn't have to come home.

[TwinklyfLightAttendant]

Oh, that's a relief.
Mother's instinct and all that...sorry to read too much into it. Am projecting I think.

[HowTheGibbonStoleChristmas]

Glad you had cuddles and a chat NAB

[NAB3hundredbaubles]

Left the kids with Daddy who is putting them to bed, I am meant to be doing our dinner, and I asked for kisses. DS1 lifted his face immediately. He normally presents the top of his head.