2year old not sleeping and fighting with partner!!!!!!!

[mumsemily]

Hi my darling 2 year old has always been an erratic sleeper, she goes through phases of sleeping well to sleeping really badly. At the moment as you may guess we are going through the bad phase again.

Over the last week, she's started waking every couple of hours and crying out, sometimes she will go back to sleep others she stays awake for hours so is really tired in the morning when we have to wake her up.

Last night it all came to ahead, she woke at 1.00 and was still awake at 1.30am, so my DP went in and told her go back to sleep, I ended up going in at 2.00am and she was wide awake, I told her it was still night time and to go back to sleep, gave her a kiss and went back to bed, I hadn't even got back into bed when she started crying, so DP says that always happens when I go as she is going through her clingy phase. He said he was going in to smack her bottom as it was getting ridiculous.

Now I know he wouldn't hurt her, but after smacking on her on nappy she starting screaming hysterically, so I stormed in and took her off him, which I probably shouldn't have done, which resulted in us having a screaming match and DD sobbing her heart out.

Anyway he stormed off downstairs to sleep and I sat in her bedroom for at least 45 minutes and she still wouldn't go to sleep, so I gave in and took her in with me, it still took a further 45 minutes for her to go to sleep, and she still cried out at least twice more before this morning.

I don't know what I expect to get from this message, but it does me good to write it down.

Should I apologise to DP as he feels I've undermined him disciplining DD, or do I carry on with the silent treatment like we always do?????

Thanks

Lisa

[SSSandy2]

I think she cannot get back to sleep for some reason, perhaps she is scared of the dark or of being alone in the dark. Something is also waking her up. She is not waking up and staying awake for the hell of it so I see nothing to be gained in hitting her at all. In fact I find it a cruel thing to do although I understand dh was just knackered and something snapped.

I'm sorry I don't know what the answer is. Can she have a little nightlight? Maybe a tape or CD with gentle music that can play until she drops off again.

Good luck with it, not sleeping at night is torture for all of you.

[CoteDAzur]

I am assuming she can talk a bit - can she tell you why she was crying when she woke up? Scared? Hurt? Nightmares?

Yes, you have undermined dp's authority & should agree on a middle ground for the future (like mulledsnow said). Something like letting her know you are not happy to be woken up by the tone of your voice, without smacking her, and telling her to go back to bed with because nighttime is for sleeping and you won't hear of anything else.

We went through a phase like this and I know how frustrating it is. Children do wake up in the middle of the night with no real reason. Just try to survive this phase without any bad habits (taking her to your own bed) or lasting problems between you and dp. It WILL pass.

[maxnchaznlucytoo]

Oh my goodness it sounds so similar to my 2 year old as well - the only difference being that dd has always been a great sleeper until now. I had to go into her over 20 times last night between midnight and 4.30. She goes back to sleep ok usually but then will wake again 20 mintes later or so. I'm getting more and more impatient, I can understand why your dp snapped.
Tonight I have decided to let her cry it out, as I think she is feeding off the attention in the night. I will report back.

[mumsemily]

Thanks for all your advice. CoteDAzur when we ask her whats wrong she just smiles and goes for a hug, if I ask what woke her she normally says dad, which means dad has gone into her room first in the morning .

SSSandy2 - she does have a nightlight and I sometimes think that is what keeps her awake so long, but if we turn it off its blue murder.

I've apologies to DP and he's apologised back, so we are going to sit and down decide what to do tonight if she starts, I have said I don't think smacking her is the answer as she isn't being naughty.

maxnchaznlucytoo - keep me posted how your lo is getting on, and hopefully my dd will sleep tonight, she fell asleep at dinner time which isn't her.

Thanks

Lisa

[SSStollenzeit]

Have you tried the formula? Is it going well, improving the situation at all?