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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

4 month old dd hitting me in the face and pulling at my ear-rings, visciously! Why and what to do??

27 replies

peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:22

She's just got quite violent in that when she gets frustrated or when I say no she'll practically punch me in the face. Also if I've just got in from work and am wearing ear-rings she'll try to pull them really hard!

When I say "no" in a firm voice and remove her hand she screams hysterically and throws herself on me sobbing?!?!! What do I do? And what am I doing wrong??

OP posts:

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emkana · 14/11/2007 23:23

You mean 14 months I suppose?

You're not doing anything wrong, it's entirely normal, and it will pass.

Just keep saying "no" firmly when she does it, she will learn eventually.

busybusymummy · 14/11/2007 23:24

Let her sob and don't give her attention for hte bad behaviour - she'll eventually work out that she loses attention for bad behaviour.

hunkermunker · 14/11/2007 23:24

She's four months old. She can't talk or make her feelings known in many ways. She's not being violent.

Earrings are fascinating to her and she has no idea that if she pulls them, she'll hurt you.

She is much too young for a firm voice. You are the centre of her world, she idolises you. Gently does it.

CloudAtlas · 14/11/2007 23:24

I didn;t guess that, I just thought, blimey she sounds advanced!!

CloudAtlas · 14/11/2007 23:25

she's not really 4 months is she, surely?

peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:25

Yes sorry 14 month old, she was a placid. docile little mite at 4 months!

Anything else apart from saying no. I don't shout just say it firmly

OP posts:

Twinklemegan · 14/11/2007 23:25

But if you did mean 4 months old, then bear in mind that my DS is 15 months so you have a long way to go! I'd love to know if there IS a solution, because I'm getting pretty fed up with it myself. Glad to see you say it's normal though Emkana.

Twinklemegan · 14/11/2007 23:26

DS seems to do it most when he's tired, often straight after giving me a kiss

Shitemum · 14/11/2007 23:27

er, take your earrings off before you get home?

peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:27

How do I change thread title to add a 1 before 4??

OP posts:

CloudAtlas · 14/11/2007 23:27

Reomve earings before seeing her. Then if she is violent, if you're holding her put her down every time she does it.

hunkermunker · 14/11/2007 23:27

I did wonder!

Still v little for "stern" I think. Distraction all the way.

I have a cardigan I wear with a big button on it. DS2 likes to twiddle it, which will pull it off eventually, so I was just saying no. He was getting upset - he really likes the button. So I told him he could kiss it. So now if he reaches to twiddle it, he catches himself, then leans down to kiss my button.

hunkermunker · 14/11/2007 23:28

BBM, was that your advice for a 4mo baby?! "Bad behaviour"?!

Twinklemegan · 14/11/2007 23:28

Don't think you can now Peacelily. I also do what CloudAtlas says.

peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:30

The glasses get slung too if I forget to remove them prior to entering the house which I try to remember to do.

She does it to everyone wearing glassess tho, the 3 main ones being her grandparents. Don't think they're too impressed!

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fawkeoff · 14/11/2007 23:31

dont wear ear rings for the next 12 months would be a start

peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:32

Yes Hunkermunker bit at BBMs advice too. Bit harsh!?!

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peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:34

I go to work, I have to look smart, I'm a person as well as a Mum, I wear ear-rings.

The point I was trying to make was is this type of behaviour normal and how do you encourage them not to do it especially at such a young age.

OP posts:

CloudAtlas · 14/11/2007 23:34

She'll grow out of it! Hard to imagine I know

peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:35

CloudAtlas I was thinking I might do that but was unsure if it was appropriate at this age. Thanks for the advice

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hunkermunker · 14/11/2007 23:35

Yes, it's totally normal.

You encourage "kind hands" and you distract them.

colditz · 14/11/2007 23:37

take your earrings out, if she tries to his you hold her hands still and say 'no', give her lots of cuddles because she might be trying to make physical contact with you without knowing how to initiate it.

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colditz · 14/11/2007 23:38

yes it is normal, that's why you would be better off taking your earrings out before you walk through the door.

peacelily · 14/11/2007 23:43

It does happen mostly in the hour before bed time so I realise tiredness is a big contributor.

The tips people have come up with are the things I was mulling over think I just needed some reassurance I was going about things the right way. I think some fellow Mums I know think I'm a bit "soft" generally with her so needed to know which approach is appropriate and helpful.

Obviously I know to remove offending items of jewellry just sometimes I forget and I'm not going to crop my hair or constantly wear it up either!!

OP posts:

Twinklemegan · 14/11/2007 23:54

Does she pull your hair as well then? DS does that too and it bl**dy hurts, and if I tie it up he goes for that instead. I'm so relieved that it's normal though (although I'm sure I knew it was). Hope your DD grows out of it soon.

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