Stubborn 4 year old

[NAB3]

I can't even explain to you how stubborn our 4 year old DD is. Any help please on how to handle her?

An exampl: took 25 minutes to get her to admit she had told a lie today. She has amazing staying power, I'll give her that.

[mrsmerton]

I try and call my stubborn 4 year olds bluff as often as poss. For example, he refuses to put shoes on to come and collect older ds. So I say, 'Ok, I'll be back later then', and pretend to go out and shut the door behind me. He is so shocked, his stubborness evaporates, and his shoes are on straight away.

My advice-choose your battles wisely. If it really doesn't matter, try and let it go. It's easy to crash heads and get into a stand off over little stuff (I know, I've done it) She is only 4 and is testing her and your boundaries.

[Flier]

I've got one too !
Only thing I can say is that she's getting your attention for 25mins (good or bad, its all attention to her!)
Do you use time out and reward charts?

[NAB3]

I know I know but sometimes you have to get the result that is right and believe me this child is the most stubborn ever born.

[NAB3]

Oh no, she didn't get my attention for 25 minutes at all. She was in the car with her siblings while I stood at the back out of sight.

[Flier]

agree with mrsmerton. If she's not hurting anyone or anything, can you choose to ignore?

[mrsmerton]

I wouldn't worry about a 4 year old telling a lie. An older child maybe. Are you stubborn too?

[Flier]

my ds has just started lying too, and its really so frustrating!

[NAB3]

I am sorry but I disagree. She is old enough to know she mustn't tell lies and it isn't really about that. If you ask her to do something and she doesn't want to do it, then she won't. She is a child and needs to do as she is told. Just like her brother she is a bloody angel at school.

[NAB3]

I don't think I am stubborn at all.

[mrsmerton]

Maybe its how you are asking her. I find with mine if I am barking orders, I get a terrible response rate.

If I am sweetness and light, its better. And my temper doesn't blow.

(I'm extremely stubborn, by the way, and have 2 out of 3 very stubborn children)

Maybe give her consequences: If you don't do x,y,z then Mummy won't be reading you a story tonight.

Any help???

[Flier]

She also knows how to wind you up, so you really need to start constructively ignoring her. By this I mean, don't be out of her sight, stay in the same room as her, keep your expression blank and your body turned away from her, read a book or give her siblings some attention. Don't let her wind you up. It will get worse before it gets better though.

[NAB3]

It just seems to be anytime we ask her to do anything really. She needs a wee, her tummy hurts, she doesn't want too.

Kids are all in bed. DD is crying because I said she couldn't have her door open (She has a night light on in her room and she needs it dark for her eye.)

DH just said I am to book a night in a hotel next weekend so one of us can get some rest.

Thanks all. It does help but would be better if I could explain her and myself better.

[Flier]

sorry can't help you more, you're obvoiusly going through it a bit right now, but it sounds like you've got a supportive dh, though. Like you say, its not always possible to convey through here exactly what is going on. . hope you have a better week next week.