how do i get my 20 month old to listen to me....

[mummysue]

i have a beautiful 20 month baby girlwho has a terrible temper.from the time she gets up till she goes to bed im constantly chasing after her.she doesnt sit still.everything she does is dangerous such as climbing on anything,throwing things around.im constantly saying no,which understandably then makes her angry and she pulls her hair or bites herself,i tell her no,thats naughty and she goes back to doing the dangerous stuff.im worn out.i dont believe in smacking.i remove her from the situation,try to distract her but nothing works.she rules the house and i think she knows it,she also wont go asleep in her cot,i have to take her in my bed,then when shes asleep put her in her cot.i have tried and it can take 2 hours or more and im so shattered by then.god you can tell shes my first please advise,i just dont know what else to do and i cant leave her cry,that upsets me.

[mimi03]

hi mummysue, i work with children and young people with challenging behaviour so ill tell you what i would do if i was you. The bighting and pulling her hair is her way of scaring you in to letting her get her own way, she wont do herself any real damage so do not reward that behaviouur with attention, totally ignore it and look busy with something else. i think most mums are forever having to take their toddlers away from this and that because its dangerous, but that will get les with time! next time shes doing somthing naughty, get down to her level, take her hands and look into her eyes and say'No' in a firm voice, remove her and give her a distraction, if she returns to the naughty activity, do not say a word, pick her up and put her on the naughty staep for 2 mins. tell her briefly why she is there and she has to sit there till you come and get her in 2 mins. unfortunatly she Will push you and constantly come off the step. every time pick her up and put her back. do not show emotion, do not talk. even if you have to do this 50 times dont give up it will get easier. keep calm..... you are the adult and she is the child ....you are in charge and she is trying to push your buttons. I t can all get very distressing the first time but you should see improvements within a week. the key is consistancy, if you said 2 mins on the step, you need to follow through etc etc. she will soon realise you mean buissness! the same for bedtime. have a good calm routine and stick with it for example bath, bottle, story, bed. Do not get into confrontations at bedtime. the first time she gets out of bed, calmly say ' no darling, its bedtime, you sleep in your bed', and put her back second time say nothing and put her back. third time f you feel comfortable doing this hold the door shut for 2 mins. if she continues still open the door tell her you will leave the door open if she stays in bed. put her back and walk away.the first week will be hell because she is pushing the boundries, but dont give up, you are in charge!!! hope that helps you....goodluck.