Help! 3 month old suddenly crying like crazy every evening

[Liska]

My 14 week old dd was moved from a moses basket/carrycot into a proper cot last week. She seemed very happy at first, as she flails around quite a lot, and kept hitting sides of the basket. But for the last 3 nights she not only refuses to go in her cot, but cries for about 3 hours (on and off) at the end of the day. She is ending up coming into bed with me, either from when she (finally) goes down, or after her first night feed, but pattern is going like this- bf her off to sleep (yes, I know its a habit I should break). Put her in cot, she (usually) wakes up as she is going in and screams. Rock her back to sleep - if I can. (tonight she just screamed and screamed until I bf again.) Sometimes she screams if I put her down at all - cot or my bed, sometimes she is okay on the bed. tonight she cried and cried from about 6, despite bf, rocking etc. Went to sleep about 8 (feeding), put her down in cot. Woke 40 minutes later, dh rocked her for half an hour but she just screamed - eventually threw up, poor babs. Bf back to sleep, but slightest thing wakes her and she just wont go off again like she used to. Am SO distressed and upset - will do anything to help her sleep, but also worried at introducing so many bad habits. fyi - she has had early teething problems for ages, but I dont think thats the cause. She has this week learned to roll on to either side, and can move herself an alarming distance around in her cot by doing that and kicking herself along. Could this be a factor? Am also sure she is not getting enough sleep during the day - am trying to introduce more routine but not having much luck.... Am too tired and stressed out to think straight - any ideas?

[CrookshanksinJimmyChoos]

Do you use a grobag for her at all?

[Liska]

Just got one today. My room is so hot she has just been going down in a vest. Put her in grobag tonight, but for some reason dh took it off when he was dealing with her. Have just had to bf her again (for comfort not food) and put her back in. I have noticed that if I gently hold her arms down she calms more quickly, so I put one arm inside the grobag to see if it helps. (Cant swaddle as she kicks too much).

[CrookshanksinJimmyChoos]

We had this problem with DS...he was flinging his arms out so much, it was making him jump...we ended up putting him to bed in just nappy and vest and swaddling him to stop the jump reflex....it did work but obviously there is the overheating issue so I was always worried about that! (This was before I discovered grobags)

It sounds to me as if she's associated the breast with comfort sucking to sleep...have you thought about a dummy at all? DS is a very sucky baby and wouldn't be without his dummy!

I've had many nights where I've had to rock DS to sleep, only to lay him down and for him to wake up screaming and then needing rocking again. Its very tiring and I do sympathise. The things I tried to remedy the situation was a ceiling music mobile, laid him down, said goodnight, put the mobile on and left the room, he would watch the mobile and then fall asleep (not always though) and it became part of his routine for a good while until he started to get very curious and would crawl to the edge of the cot to see where the light was coming from!

I've also crotcheted some 'binkies' for him as he loves rubbing his nose with them to comfort him to sleep, but they are breathable and only small so not a suffocation risk

A grobag may help as it does stop the thrashing around and obviously there is no cover kicking to disturb them, so I hope that works for you

One other thing I would say though now that DS is over a year - those first months go by so quick and although rocking them is exhausting, you won't regret it when they start moving around and are too interested in the world around them for a cuddle with mummy!

[Dawnybabe]

We had this problem with dd at roughly the same age as yours. We exhausted every possible reason and in the end just put it down to colic, whatever that really is. She would cry most evenings for an hour or so and then just drop off anywhere. Obviously if yours is much worse than that you need to speak to a doctor, or a craneologist (spelling?) to check her over. Sometimes that works. Our dd just gradually stopped and now at seven months has been evening-tantrum free for about three months, touch wood [hits head].
Good luck!

[Liska]

Thanks CrookSh - I must admit that when she is pily snuffling away on my boob, or just sleeping next to me, it does make me very happy and gooey. I just hate to see her in such obvious distress. My dh wont believe that over tiredness can cause that much trauma (and noise!).

She is definitely sometimes sucking for comfort - I did try a dummy for a while when she was younger, but it would usually fall out before she actually fell asleep, so I ended up having to hover over her to pop it back in.

I did want to start a routine ending in putting her down awake, but a few weeks ago she started cluster feeding in the evenings and then completely conking out full of food, so I couldnt really fit anything in. At that point she would go down about 9 - 9.30 and sleep till about 2.30. THese days neither of us is sure whats going on so its haphazard! Its nice to know it will get better though, however long it takes...

[CrookshanksinJimmyChoos]

It does get better, honestly I still have to rock DS now but I absolutely love it as its my cuddle time with him. He looks up into my eyes and flings binkie up at me, rubs my nose with it and giggles!

However, that aside, I do appreciate how tiring it is. I think she's just probably got used to mummy comfort but at only 14weeks old - totally understandable. Try the ceiling mobile if you can - its lovely to watch -chills me right out as well!

[Liska]

Maybe you should let me know how to crochet a 'binkie' Is that the same as a 'blankie' or is it an toy? My Mum suggested leaving a muslin that smells of me in the cot for her to smell, but she stuffs anything like that in her mouth (right in her mouth!)

[CrookshanksinJimmyChoos]

Yeah its the same as a blankie...its only a small square about 10 inches by 10....very basic pattern, wool etc...DS does put it in his mouth but its too big for him to cram all of it in his mouth so not a risk. He's attached to it during the day as well, I normally find him rambling around with part of it hooked over his front teeth, beaming away at me...he does love it!

Have you got any relatives that can crotchet one for you? You will need more than one though cos they can get manky pretty quick!

[Liska]

Sounds like a good idea - I was taught to crochet once, but its long forgotten! I am sure I have an auntie or two who would oblige, though!

For now am off to climb in next to my lo. My sleep may not be great, but at least I get to watch her.

Thanks so much to you both for the help and support!

[CrookshanksinJimmyChoos]

No worries - let me know how you get on...and... get that ceiling mobile!

[mistlethrush]

Ds had terrible colic and a cranial osteopath helped - if it continues, this might be worth trying, if only to rule it out? Very gentle treatment.

I can sympathise - ds had some nights when he screamed from 7pm to 4 or 5am...

It does get better though!