siblings, fighting, general nastiness.

[sanae]

At the end of my tether now with the way my three are behaving with each other - DS 9 DDs 8 and 6. Not really helped by DDs having to share bedroom - we are in rented accommodation last 9 months which is too small for us all (moved to new area so also lack of support from friends and family). I am constantly looking for different accomodation but nothing around. But anyway, on days like today when we have to stay in they are just horrible with each other for at least some of every day. Winding each other up, which results in tears, arguing, whining, shouting, and then after a long period of trying to stay calm, DH and me will get upset and the day feels ruined. I do try to have time separately with them, but then this also leads to arguements over who does what! I have read Siblings without Rivalry, which helped a lot when they were younger, but I don't seem to be able to find a way of dealing with them now they are that bit older and they don't want to listen to my attempts at reconciliation/talking through etc. How does anyone else handle this? I feel so envious when other people say their children get on well. I am on a particularly bad day today. Is there an obvious solution I am just not seeing?

[sanae]

Have decided to take DDS to park despite grot weather, so sorry if I don't immediately reply, but has anyone PLEASE got any ideas. Will be back later.

[Piksiminx]

I have 3 DD who are slightly older than yours (12,9 and6) and have exactly the same problems. I have found that by trying to leave them to sort out their squabbles actually difuses the situation more than if I get involved (unless they are trying to kill each other. If this doesn't work then they get threatened with bed 15mins earlier than their bedtime every time we have to step in. Have sent them all to be before 7 o'clock on one occasion!

[sanae]

Thanks Piksiminx,it's just helpful to know that we are not the only ones struggling with these problems. I try to leave them but in our little house the noise level just gets unbearable after a while adding to our grumpiness and creating a vicious circle. I have realised that one of the flash points is tidying bedrooms, blame over who made what mess and refusal to help, then a general wind up situation ensues. I would love to have separate bedrooms but we have never had that luxury, even in our old house. We have just spend the afternoon chucking out toys and junk from the girls' bedroom rather than going to the park and I was hoping that having less to tidy away might help the situation. However even as I type I can here screaming/arguing etc from upstairs.....