dd in trouble at nursery for not listening!

[paddingtonbear1]

dd's nursery teacher says that although dd is very bright, she won't listen to instructions - she ignores them and pretends she hasn't heard. There's nothing wrong with her hearing! Has anyone else had this? do they just grow out of it? dd goes to school in a few months.

[loopylou6]

aww hun shes still only very young, what does the teacher expect from her lol

[belgo]

How old is she? I'm assuming 4 or 5?

My three year old often ignores instructions - it's difficult to get her attention, especially when there is a lot going on around her. My sister in law suggested that she has a hearing problem - but she can hear fine. She just doesn't listen because she is so easily distracted. I find that I have to make sure she looks at me when I am talking to her.

[paddingtonbear1]

yeah I probably am expecting too much - I bet I was the same at her age. This must be the third time nursery have mentioned it so they must think it's a problem.. not sure there's much I can do tho. just hope she's ok at school - she will be one of the youngest!

[belgo]

How does she respond to one to one attention?

[paddingtonbear1]

belgo she's nearly 4. she's due to start school in sept. I can get her to listen to me at home cos it's 1-1, and I can keep repeating myself! I guess it's harder for the nursery cos they have more kids!

[paddingtonbear1]

she has selective hearing with me as well. i have to keep repeating myself! As soon as I say something will have consequences though, she hears straight away... amazing!!

[belgo]

Yes she sounds like my dd. it's as if there is so much information that their brains cannot cope with so much going on around them.

My dd responds best in a calm, quiet environment.
Sorry not much actual help!

[bobsmum]

Paddington - a friend once told me that some chiildren just need "processing" time to get the instruction translated in their little heads - like you or I would translate French into English before carrying out an instruction.

Then no sooner has the little head started getting the jist of what's been asked than someone says 'Are you listening to me?" and repeates the instruction and they've got to go through the whole process again!!

As often as I can I give my ds (4.5) about 20 seconds to do what I've asked before repeating myself. as far as he's concerned, because he's thinking about doing it, he is actually doing it and gets quite annoyed when I ask him again! - "I am doing it!!"

Getting down to eye level really helps, but don't worry too much about holding direct eye contact and having a staring war, because that's just one more thing to have to concentrate on!

[paddingtonbear1]

thanks for your replies. I'll get down more to her level when I really need her to do something, and give her time to respond. I think it's more of a problem when she's already doing something - when she does reply, it's to say 'but mummy I'm doing this'! fair enough I guess!

[frances5]

How do you know there is nothing wrong your daughter's hearing paddingtonbear1, unless she has been tested recently. Hearing problems are very common in naughty four year olds. My son is far more obeident when wearing his hearing aids.

In our area all children have a hearing test when they start school.

[paulaplumpbottom]

selective hearing, I think they all go through this at some point

[beautifulgirls]

I second getting a hearing test done for her - at least you can be sure then. Have you considered omega3 oil supplements. They can help children to concentrate better in some cases.

[Millarkie]

Both my children are hearing impaired and with both of them I sat in the audiology department saying 'there's nothing wrong with their hearing, this is just a check because they have speech delay'....and then they failed their hearing test. You would think that having one impaired child I would realise that the other one was but No.. so don't write off the idea of getting a hearing test carried out. It can be very difficult to tell.

[paddingtonbear1]

the last time dd's hearing was tested was a couple of years ago. they said it was fine, and her speech is fine apart from a slight lisp. if she had impaired hearing would she be ok with speech? it must be hard to tell, they can't exactly tell you they can't hear properly do they!

[Millarkie]

It's worth checking out - glue ear is a common cause of deafness at this age and that can come and go - both of my kids have it - ds has had it continually since he was a year old, he had very bad speech delay and has other behavioural type problems, probably because he's spent most of his life getting told off for not doing things when he didn't hear the instruction He 'acts' like he can hear because he lip reads really well, so I had no idea that he had a hearing problem.
dd has glue ear but it comes and goes and is in addition to deafness caused by something else (haven't finished tests so don't know what yet). She is at the lower end of normal for speech but can hold a conversation etc, just mis-pronounces a lot of sounds. She has problems at specific frequencies. Both of them hear a lot better if there is no background noise, so nursery/school is a challenge for them.

It's worth getting a bit of peace of mind by asking your health visitor to put dd on the waiting list for an audiology test.

[tutu100]

Just seconding all those who have suggested getting her hearing checked. My DS wouldn't respond to instructions or his name (he's 23 months now) and it wasn't until 3 other people pointed this out to me (I had noticed but didn't think it was a problem they all thought he was naughty) that I asked for him to be checked. He has got glue ear which is apparently quite common and can be better at some times than others. It was really obvious what sounds he couldn't hear in the test. I felt really bad that I hadn't suspected before, his speech is quite advanced which is probably because he spends a lot of time alone with me and so he's able to hear me. But they think it might be why he doesn't pronounce words very clearly. As soon as we go to places that are slightly noisy he can't hear me and I have to tell people that he's not being naughty he just can't hear when there is too much going on. Get her checked, ask you HV for a refferal.