help in relation to 7yr old

[mad4girls]

hi
hoping for a bit of advice just sent dd1 (almost 8) up to brush teeth etc before bed, and found her using my deodorant, i asked her why she thought she needed it, but clammed up and got upset .

i understand she obviuosly just wants to do what mum does but wondering how to approach this with her as she seems to get very upset and tearful (thinking she is introuble) even though im not acting cross even told her i wasnt cross with her, just said that she didnt really need that yet but when she gets older she will.

but was this the right thing to do, should i maybe buy her, her own deod to let her feel grown up,or get her into good hygiene habits,as a friend of an 8 yr old lad, buys him deod, this is the norm for them.

but not sure if this is b/c he is a boy only have daughters. im no good with this i want to make sure me and dd's have an easy open relationship as mine with my mum is awful and i felt i could approach her about nothing, always went to a family friend/aunty as a teen as just could not talk to my mum. never told her when i started my periods, and it was about a year before she found out, and im worried ill be recreating the same secrecy with dd's if i dont make it the norm for us to be open now IYSWIM

please help have no idea what im doing and have no personal experience to fal back on

all replies gratefully received thanx guys

[CORNFLAKE2]

All that worry over deodrant!! She probably just wants to copy you and likes the smell. Agree it for special occasions? Buy her some impulse as her own? My three year old likes to copy me putting roll on deo ; except he puts it on his tummy! No harm in it - he smells nice!!

[hatwoman]

explain to her what it is - like iit's no big deal - just say that when you get a bit older your sweat can sometimes smell a bit unpleasant. so teenagers and grown ups use this to stop tjhe smell. when she needs it she can have some, right now she doesn't need it, but if she;d like to use a bit because it smells nice taht;s fine.

I do agree about maing open-ness the norm now. my mum wasn;t great at this - not bad but not brilliant either. dh's family were always completely open and dh has shown me a lot about simply being hinesyt and open - withthe right lebvel of ingfo. i need to take a deep breath sometimes, but i'm so glad when i do. it feel so much better.

[talcygoneorange]

Funnily enough,my 8 year old dd1 asked me, on thus eve when in bath, how old did she need to be to use deodorant.....i told her about the smell/sweat business and she asked outright for some deodorant, she did seem a liitle nervous about asking though....
So....i bought her a deodorant today, she's so pleased. I think it's a bit of mutual respect iykwim, this is all knew to me too,
and hard work. I guess its just important to be approachable, my dd1 is also a sensitive soul and easily embarrassed!
Rambling now, sorry, must go to bed!

[stoppinattwo]

I think this is an embarrasing stage for our children, asking about deoderant, then for girls it will be bra's periods, etc etc.

i think you look for the indications and promt the questions, save them the embarrasment. My mum was crap at this stuff, me and my dd do and talk about all sorts of girlie stuff, because i dont want her to be embarrased to ask. You sound like a lovely caring mum mad4girls.

[WigWamBam]

Perhaps she feels that she's sweating and smelly, but was too embarrassed to ask you to buy her some. My sister's 7 year old stepson gets quite whiffy so he uses it - it's no big deal.

If she wants or needs a deodorant, then get her one. A nice Impulse spray would go down a treat. Just don't make an issue out of it, for her sake.

[hbbell]

I got some impulse for my 9year old as she had used mine. She used it for a few days .... now it spends most of its time in her sock draw. She only puts it on every so often. But she is happy and so am I + not spending a bomb on it

[mad4girls]

think will get her some of her own then as just been upstairs and nearly chocked on the fumes she been spraying,

think will get her some tomrrow as dont think dp was impressed as it was his he used today

just worried that she will start her sister off wanting it too as she only 4!!


thanx for al your replies dont feel so stupid now

[talcygoneorange]

Yep....don't feel stupid

i bought dd1 sanex......extra kind to skin, alchohol free, hardly smelly...

My dd2 asked for some also, she's 6...i told her she was too young,to wait 'till she was her sisters age......she was happy with that

[hbbell]

Just remind her its squirt squirt and the lid back on. or she will run out too fast before you can get another Ds age9 has not got Ds age5 hooked yet

[sarz]

I think you should buy her some then if she thinks she needs it she will use it, if its just a novelty, she wont, no harm done. but like talcygoneorange said, get sanex or simple so it wont harm her skin! girls grow up very fast these days and sometime you just have to role with it! (before people jump down my throught i said SOMETIMES!!) Maybe even start the pubety talk, not the periods bit, but the body changing parts, and tell her if she ever has any questions you will be right there.

[hbbell]

Hi did you get her some ..... how's it going