Potty Training- wrong place I know but really need your thoughts!

[Tatat]

Posted this in the nappies/potty training board yesterday but no replies yet, can anyone help? I really need advice, feel like I'm stumbling about in the dark a bit with this.

Just started pt ds 2.5. It's going really well and I am pleased that he's quite excited about the whole thing.
Bed time has been a bit of a pain, but I'm prepared to just grin and bear it for a while. DS has twigged that saying "I want a wee" or "I want a poo" will get him out of his cot and onto the loo/potty if I have only just tucked him in.
He is wearing a nappy for bed time/day time nap but if he is still awake and tells me he needs the loo I am letting him try. Is this the best way to do it? In my head I have thought that if he tells me he needs the loo I should help him use it- nappy is really only there for when he can't say anything (cos he's asleep). Otherwise I am worried about conflicting messages that I'd send by "allowing" him to do a wee etc in his nappy just because it's bed time.
Bed time has taken a couple of hours because he's up and down to the potty all the time- I don't want to say "no you're just playing about, it's bedtime" because I want him to know that I'll listen to him if he tells me he needs to go. (Also, after 1hr last night he actually did do a monster poo, think he was a bit constipated, so I know that he wasn't really playing games for the first hour)
Should I let him wee n poo is his nappy if he is wearing it? Or continue to get him out of bed/pj's nappy off onto the potty, even if this means he's not going to bed until really late (for him, so 9pm last night eg)?

[hebetalbot]

Could try getting him on the loo before his bath or putting him in his PJ's and make it clear that he will not be allowed to get up again if he asks once he is ready for bed. It does sound like he has twigged that this is a good tatic to prolong bedtime.

[Gipfeli]

Oh yes ds did this too at that age. Like you I was worried about giving him conflicting messages and about letting him know I was listening to him, but really it became clear he was just trying it on to avoid going to bed, particularly as he was used to having a book to look at whilst on the potty (this is how he was introduced to the potty at about 15 months by his nursery) and obviously preferred sitting up reading a book to going to bed. So we did a few nights of letting him sit on the potty when he called out after we'd put him to bed, but not letting him have a book, so as to make the whole experience as dull as possible for him. After a few days of this and nothing appearing in the potty, we used to just say no to his requests to get out of bed and use the potty. (Although on the days when I thought that he might have been slightly constipated I would weaken a bit). I can't remember how long it lasted, maybe a couple of weeks or so, before he found his next tactic for bed-avoidance!

[mamma2kids]

I agree with heb. Take him after his bath, then again just before you tuck him into bed and leave the room.

[Tatat]

Thanks for advice, difficult to see the way through sometimes when you're right in the midst of it!