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Behaviour/development

Daughters Behaviour

5 replies

Grace7777 · 16/01/2017 21:06

Hi, I am struggling with my 4 year old daughter as her behaviour is appalling when she is playing with other children especially my NCT groups children. She refuses to share toys and at every friends home we go to she gets in an argument with their child. I try and take her out for walks instead but in the winter it's not always possible. We are part of an NCT group and notice that we don't get asked to people's houses as much as others and it's starting to upset me. It's been worse this week as we went to a friends house and my daughter had a meltdown over toys etc and since then the friend is ignoring my messages to arrange to meet up again. My youngest daughter is fine with sharing and I'm worried she is going to start copying her sister. Does anyone have any advice? It's only her behaviour with other kids as she is lovely to me and is very well behaved at home when we are just the four of us.

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ninenicknames · 16/01/2017 21:11

She's only 4. The whole sharing thing really gets to me ... as adults we don't "share"

I feel for you, my DC is a whinger & can be grumpy! I can often avoid play dates to deter any "oh wasn't nines DC in a bad mood today"

I think she will grow out of it, go easy on yourself, she's only little

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Yoarchie · 16/01/2017 21:11

I'd lay off the meet ups. All children are different and at 4yo it will be very, very hard to force her to share or explain why she should. I would just wait it out, going to school should help. Whilst she's at home, you can do more sharing. Eg you could put an even number of smarties on a plate and divide them up between her and her sister whilst she watches. Just do more sharing all the time so she gets used to it for now. My ds is a kind boy now but really struggled to share his toys when little. He was really attached to them and prized them. I wouldn't meet up with people who judge you for your dc not sharing or don't want to meet up with you. . It isn't your fault, kids are different.

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Della1 · 16/01/2017 21:37

You could try calling it "taking it in turns" instead of "sharing." I think this helps them to understand that the toy isn't being taken off of them indefinitely. Practise counting to ten and then handing the toy over or if it's a bike doing one lap around the garden etc. E.g. X is waiting for a turn on that toy so let's count to ten and then hand it over...and then count to ten and pass the toy back etc. Great advice above. Don't worry about being judged- most people with young children understand that they are learning social skills.