Yet more research...

[ScummyMummy]

Can this be true?



21st CENTURY KIDS THREE YEARS BEHIND THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVENTIES
by Beth Barbados, education correspondent

Pioneering research from Collingford University in the US claims that the pre-schoolers of today are functioning at a level up to three years behind those of the late seventies in terms of IQ, speech, personal care, behaviour and manipulation skills. A wide ranging study by Professor Jeremy Hoober and Dr Davidoff Gruber followed 700 children from birth to five years and concluded that their acquisition of basic skills was significantly slower than in any previous generation. Children were observed at birth and at two and four years talking with their main carers, attempting to dress themselves, drinking from a glass and using scissors. In addition Hoober & Gruber administered the Lexicon-Bossanova Pre-Reading IQ Test and took Cranial Endograph readings from each child. Dr Gruber said that he was saddened, though not surprised, to find that these tests wholly supported the observational data. ?We have been concerned for some time that young children are not gaining crucial skills as fast as they used to, but up till now this has been mainly based on anecdotal evidence. Our tests and research seem to confirm what many nursery teachers and health professionals have been telling us- on average, the kids of today just don?t measure up to those of the past.? Gruber highlighted his prototype endograph test results, used to track brain function, as particularly revealing: ?When a four year old is monitored on the endograph while performing a simple mathematical task, we would expect to see lights go on all over the brain, with particular emphasis on the cerebellum and medulla oblongata. With these children barely a light flickered and the huge majority were unable to complete the task. This is in huge contrast to the children of even twenty years ago.? The IQ results of children at 2 and 4 years were also uniformly low- an average of 23 points lower than those of the 1000 children who took part in the Chatsworth-Heine project in 1977.
Professor Hoober, a neurologist of international standing, admitted himself astonished and shocked at the results: ?I am very worried. All the standard scientific tests seem to be showing that children are becoming less able and more behaviourally challenged than ever before. Nowadays it is hard to find a four year old who can drink from a lidless cup, let alone tie his shoelaces. ADHD and related disorders are endemic- so much so that I believe they will soon cease to be seen as in any way abnormal. I very much fear that evolution is going backwards.?

[Zoya]

No, I don't think it can: there is no Collingford University in the US, and a Google search reveals no sign of drs Hoober and Gruber, who sound to me like refugees from the Muppet Show...

[Croppy]

Not to mention the "Lexicon-Bossanova" IQ test!!

[Marina]

ScummyMummy, where did you find this? And was there a 1st April timing on the press release when you found it?

[Monnie]

Sounds like something that 'The Day Today' programme would do!

Prof Davidoff Gruber? Davidoff's an aftershave!

And I'm sure Hoober and Gruber are from either the Muppets or Fraggle Rock.

I thought it was quite funny, though.

[WideWebWitch]

Do you reckon the names of the professors could be anagrams of something, like "you've been had"?!!! or similar

[ScummyMummy]

Well, that didn't fool anyone then! Marina, Beth Barbados = Scummymummy bored at work. Thought we hadn't had any ludicrous research to pour scorn on lately so I made some up.

[Marina]

A very plausible success - I never thought for a minute you MADE IT UP YOURSELF. Wherever you work, Scummy, you are wasted on them. Unless you are filing copy from the bowels of the Department of Transport...

[mollipops]

ScummyMummy, very clever, but you omitted any quotes by Dr S.Q.B. Doo, a well respected paediatrician from the 70's who has apparently come out of retirement specifically for this study. Actually, I believe he has made it into a movie...

I do really think some of this is very plausible - not many 4 yr olds these days can drink from an "ordinary" cup, it's all pop-tops and sippers, and as for shoelaces, well they're not nearly as cool as velcro! As for using scissors though, I have to disagree - I think your average 4 year old is highly skilled at using scissors, particularly to cut their dolls/sisters/dogs hair!