Fighting Siblings !!!!!!

[moosh]

I know siblings fight, I fought with my older brother and sister, but am at the end of my tether with my two boys.
One is nearly 3 and the other is 7. Both boisterous and loud and quite entertaining as most boys are of this age. They play hard and well together but they also fight a fair bit too.
But, am fed up with the squabbling, arguing and fighting it keeps happening. Both do not listen to me and I have quite a stern voice when talking to them. They may stop when I tell them to but when I leave the room, one of them will get hit by the other one and it starts all over again.
It is usually ds2 who gets physical first, he has just started Nurserey so he is beginning to "survive" in a way. But he hits and kicks ds1 alot and normally he is first while ds1 who is 7 will be more verbal to begin with but then retaliate quite roughly.
Not sure what to do, I've sent them in seperate corners, I have turned the Tv off, taken toys away, they are driving me up the wall.
One day it was so bad that I nearly lost it with them both and they almost reduced me to tears (and I would consider myself a strong person).
I tell them each time not to do it and it can really hurt the other one and I always make them apologise to one another once things have calmed down. But some days, I really do feel like walking away and leaving them to get on with it, but I can't.
Anybody else feel like this or is it just me and my boys.
They've even started now, so I've got to go.

[Elasticwoman]

Sounds like you are having a hard time, Moosh. [hug]. Why not let them see you cry, if you feel like that? Explain that their behaviour makes Mummy very very sad. You are doing the right things by applying time out and other sanctions and making them apologise. With my children I keep emphasising to them how lucky they are to have each other, and how much they love each other. It's very normal for children to fight but it's also essential IMO to show that it is not acceptable.

Another thing I do is separate them by getting one to come with me, eg, to help in the kitchen. You'd be surprised what tasks you can get a child to help you with. It doesn't have to be seen as a punishment.

What help are you having from their dad with this problem or other family members?

[pointydog]

I have felt like that at times and I'm pretty sure nearly all parents have. And sometimes I have told them I can't be bothered with their arguing and fighting and I am going away to a quiet place and do not disturb. You could try it.

[moosh]

I get support from dh when he is home from work, but like most dp's or dh's, he is out early in the morning and back just before bedtime when everything is calm. The arguing can start as soon as ds1 gets up. Ds2 may be playing with something and ds1 will get up out of bed and try and take his toy and before you know it we have a full on fight at 7.30 in the morning !!!!!
But I'll think I'll try the seperation thing when one can help me and the other can do something in another room but also helping me too so they don't feel victimised.

[kid]

My 2 argue every single day over anything! I can't remember a day when they did't argue.
I have given them instructions to get washed and dressed and leave me alone, sounds like they have came to an arrangement about who goes into the bathroom first, I am shocked!

[Elasticwoman]

Moosh - presumably dh is around a bit more at weekends. How do they behave then? Any different?