Think DS#1 has been shoplifting but I don't know for sure

[NOELallie]

This is so awful I don't know what to do next. Recently DH 'caught' DS (9) looking like he was trying to stow things away in his sleeves in a shop - he was twisting a bar of chocolate round in his hand and it ended up partially under his sleeve - DH instantly assumed DS was intending to nick it but I wasn't sure - after all I was buying the children sweets anyway so wasn't sure what the point would have been of stealing. I'd seen him doing to before but thought it was just a sort of nervous habit thing and didn't take it too seriously. Tonight I let DS and his friend go to the local shop to but some chocolate for all 4 kids after dinner - he let him empty my purse and as far as I'm aware there was under a pound in there. He came back with a something for all the children and I am certain that he spent more than I had in my purse - and there was 70p change left in the bag (which he gave to me quite openly). His friend only had 30p or so. I can't help wondering if they paid for some of the stuff so got a bag but half-inched some of the other things. I challenged DS who denied it but I have to say he seems to be a pretty accomplished liar . I emphasised that stealing is a terrible thing to do and he could be in trouble with the police etc but he was adamant that he hadn't...didn't seem that bothered by the accusation though. I don't know what to think. Do I speak to the shopkeeper - I know him quite well and he's a really nice bloke - and ask what DS bought. Or is this making a mountain out of what might be a molehill? I'm not totally sure that there wasn't more money in my purse. One things for sure he isn't going to the shop on his own any more! What's the next step? Help! Still feeling a bit shell-shocked TBH and hoping I'm wrong.

[nothercules]

I would go and see the shopkeeper.

[helenhismadwife]

I do think its a stage that kids particularly boys go through, a not very nice one though.

First of all you need to be certain he is taking stuff, so if you know the shopkeeper well and he is not going to be angry about it perhaps approach him without ds and ask him what he bought.

If you do then have evidence that you son has been shop lifting, I would if you can (and I know it sounds dramatic) talk to a local community police officer and see if they can have a chat with him about it, one of my boys who is now 14 went through a stage like this, I was at my wits end and really worried about him and his future, I spoke to our local community officer who was really good and explained there would be consequences if he got caught it was the wake up call he needed and he hasnt done it since