When does having a baby get just a little easier!!

(32 Posts)
Pam0077 Mon 14-Sep-15 09:55:54

Hi
I'm posting for some reassurance really, DS is seven months now and has been a fussy, hyper baby with reflux and colic (now passed thankfully.) I keep asking friends when life gets a teeny bit easier eg not trying to stop DS crying, crap naps and now protesting when put in pram. I was told six months was life changing, not for us! My mum assures me twelve months old is a turning point. I just wanted your experience. I know it never really gets 'easy' with a child but this baby relentlessness is grinding me down and I really need some light at the end of a dark tunnel!!! X

angemorange Mon 14-Sep-15 12:28:49

My DS (now 8) was similar - colicky and unsettled until about 6 months, and every 'stage' afterwards was hard especially teething!

It can really get on top of you and I spent a lot of time wishing the baby stage was over - looking back I wished I'd enjoyed it more.

I joined a mums and toddlers group when DS was about 8 months and that helped as I met some other mums in the area. I accepted DS wasn't going to sleep much during the day so I got him into a good night routine and he was a good sleeper from 7pm to 6.30am or so. When he was about 3 and all the hard graft stages were over it was a pleasure to take him out and about.
I hope things get better soon - try not to worry - time will go much faster than you think and you will actually miss these days one day - honestly!

SeldomAthleticFC Mon 14-Sep-15 12:38:17

I was going to say 3 too. Sorry, that's probably not what you want to hear! Now mine are 5 & 7 they're really easy (mostly) and I enjoy them so much more. I don't really get people who love the baby/toddler stage. I find it absolutely exhausting.

Basketofchocolate Mon 14-Sep-15 12:59:36

Who told you it would get easier? Your Mum? What is she getting you back for? smile

People used to tell us 'it gets better' they still are....but then my Dad always says the first 'X' (relating to how old his eldest child currently is - 40s) years are the worst, don't worry.

It gets different, not necessarily better. Some of those days/weeks/months/years can feel easier as they are not as bad as the bad bits. For some, you'll find it easier because it suits you better (i.e. if child starts sleeping all night, but wakes up at 5am every day - if you are normally an early riser, this will be an 'easy' phase, but not for someone used to getting up at 8am who may be able to handle later/interrupted nights better than you).

I don't want to sound pessimistic, but as someone who has not had an easy baby, toddler or child the lesson I've learned is that parenting is bloody hard. There is no magic day when you wake up and it's all worry and stress free forever more. However, there are magic days, magic mornings, magic nights where it will be fun, lovely, special, etc. You can spend time worrying and hoping the phase will pass, but in that time, you may miss the good stuff and you never know how long it will last. Sorry, babbling here. I guess, don't keep hoping for the good to come, make now the good. Get help to rest, have a break, etc. when you can and eat well, etc. to keep your energy up. Try to enjoy what you can when you can and ease up on yourself (not easy, I know). My DS has been one long whirlwind of wondering why and when it will be easier and these days I am a bit more chilled and more confident in that it just is easier sometimes than others but it will never be as easy as some other parents I know as their kids are just different.

You have a lovely little one there, just some kids take a look more looking to find them. Protesting about being in a pram? Why put them in? At that age DS was super mobile and hated being constrained. Can fight it, or enjoy that they love being mobile/up and about/ nosy, curious kids often don't like being in prams at all. They tend to bad sleepers too in the day as they might miss something crucial going on (like Mum having a much needed cup of tea). Stubbornness is an awesome quality when channelled well - good to have your own thoughts and opinions (horridly exhausting when young, but you will be happy about it when they refuse to bend to peer pressure when older - I hope! smile ).

Sorry this is a babble. I just wanted to write something as DS was/is so wearing and whilst everyone else seemed to get to the stage where kid slept well and they all began to look calm we were still in a frenzy of lack of sleep and stress. Still are though but I wouldn't swap my noisy, curious whirlwind of a child for anything.

Needaninsight Mon 14-Sep-15 13:02:22

Hmm.

I found it quite easy by that stage with no 1 and ridiculous easy at that stage with no 2. Although that's because when no 2 was 7 months old, no 1 had just turned 2 and was bloody hard work!

Tbh, I'd just have another one, and then you'll realise how easy one child is grin All relative innit! grin

Perugia Mon 14-Sep-15 13:25:40

18 months has been a bit of a turning point for us. Before that it was constant teething and lack of sleep. I was on my knees with exhaustion and bored shitless. I also went back to work as I was struggling with being a SAHM (definitely not for me).

Get some support, have a break and consider even 1 day of childcare or a morning a week to refresh yourself. Babies and toddlers are hard work.

Pinkpowderpuff Mon 14-Sep-15 13:48:07

I would say it gets easier between 12 and 18 months as they can communicate their needs better.

FATEdestiny Mon 14-Sep-15 13:50:43

When a baby/child is getting plenty of good quality sleep - everything gets easier.

PaulineFossil Mon 14-Sep-15 14:01:43

Walking was the big turning point for us. Dc1 in particular (also a non-napping reflux baby) just didn't really like being a baby, toddler years were far, far easier than the first year. I also think they're much more fun once you can have a chat with them. Highly recommend signing as it makes the clear communication moment come so much earlier. It's always hard work in different ways though, it just depends what sort of hard work you enjoy....

Crazyqueenofthecatladies Mon 14-Sep-15 14:33:19

Honestly it gets easier when the child grows out of whichever temporary digestive issue - normally cows milk protein intolerance - that's making them miserable with heartburn, nausea, and tummy ache. With my son it was like a switch at 17 months, when he could suddenly tolerate cows milk and sleep, with my daughter it was more like five months, when we cut it all out of her diet and put her on decent meds. I don't think babies hate being babies, they don't know any different, but they do hate being in pain. Once the acute colic/reflux phase has ended it does not mean the problem has gone away, if they are still struggling to sleep and feel pretty rotten albeit at a lower level for much of the day, then there's still a problem. Fix that problem then babies get so much easier.

Pam0077 Mon 14-Sep-15 19:29:46

Thanks everyone for your comments, think the lack of sleep and five months of colic has just tipped me over the edge! Ha. I will try to appreciate what I have and enjoy my little boy, it won't last forever I know and fingers crossed this difficult time will pass!x

featherandblack Mon 14-Sep-15 20:02:14

It could all change tomorrow, honestly. flowers

WinterForest Mon 14-Sep-15 20:12:17

My baby also didn't get easier at 6 months (I was rooting for 6 months). He's now 10 months old and he's a lot more into routine now. I can actually get 8-12 hours of sleep per night now, he just sleeps right through. We used a baby swing for a long time in the beginning until he figured out how to get out of the swing but it helped SO much. We'd run the shower water, put him in the swing and turn off the lights. This worked for the first 7 months or so.

I read somewhere that year 1 is the "year of giving". You basically have to give them all you've got. You're half way there! I don't think kids ever get super easy but they definitely get easier once they sleep through the night and can start talking smile

slightlyconfused85 Mon 14-Sep-15 20:18:45

I'd say 18 months it got better as dd could talk a bit, was a good walker and had all her teeth.
From 2 it got better and better because she talked really well and could be reasoned with a bit by 2.4ish. She was also potty trained around then. I never found baby but easy but find myself 8 weeks into my second so it must have got better!

Thebirdsneedseeds Mon 14-Sep-15 20:19:11

I think a year. It's like a weigh was lifted from my shoulders. I sat looking at him with his birthday cake and literally exhaled a years worth of stress. Everything was easier. Cows milk instead of bf or formula, being weaned to a manageable level, better sleep, more predictable and suddenly life was just easier.

Good luck OP smile

NicholasName Mon 14-Sep-15 20:25:37

About 15-18m was a big noticeable improvement. And then it just gets better and better. (3 yr old, 18m old and pregnant) every stage forward is a bit easier to handle.

You start leaving the house without a suitcase of equipment!!

eurochick Mon 14-Sep-15 20:35:07

I clicked on this link looking for some encouraging anecdotes. My 14 month old just won't bloody sleep. She's only ever slept through a handful of times. I had pregnancy insomnia from conception too so I am just so sleep deprived at this point. I will hang on for 15-18 months!

Luckystar1 Mon 14-Sep-15 20:50:20

Me too euro. DS is 11 months and has never once slept through, and very much knows his own mind, we can have days of concurrent tantrums about who knows what. All around I see these glorious babies super chilled. DS needs shushed and patted to sleep for naps, is still waking for a nightly feed and wakes at 6am for the day. Meanwhile all I hear is babies sleeping through from birth (practically) and eating tons of solids etc etc. I just want a break!!! Ahhh!

CPtart Mon 14-Sep-15 21:14:41

When I went back to work and paid someone else to take over for a couple of days a week. I enjoyed motherhood so much more from then on. Felt better equipped mentally to deal with it. And they were good sleepers!
Piece of cake from 3 years on.

HJBeans Mon 14-Sep-15 23:27:56

For us, hugely easier and more rewarding past ~14 months. But his sleep was so bad until then it on occasion reduced both my DH and I to tears, so for us the turning point was him finally sleeping a bit better. Talking with him and seeing what his little personality is like is amazing.

Pam0077 Tue 15-Sep-15 11:14:49

Looks like a lot of us are going through the same thing! Nobody tells you about this do they at antenatal class!!! Haven't found my HV to be of much help. I think when DS can talk I may find it 'easier' to fathom what the hell he wants!

Bumpsadaisie Tue 15-Sep-15 12:14:31

It starts getting easier at different points with different children.

When you reach that point, you'll know, as you'll start feeling broody and thinking, oh, I could manage another one (you have forgotten what the bad times were like!).

(Assuming all goes smoothly) you then get pg with no.2 and the whole merry go round starts all over again.

It's insane. But wonderful of course.

:-)

HJBeans Tue 15-Sep-15 20:25:41

Absolutely right, bumps! DH was dead set against another child until roughly two weeks past the 'turning point' when suddenly it seemed possible.

RolyPolierThanThou Tue 15-Sep-15 20:36:15

Ds1 is 3y and ds2 has just turned 17m. I realised thus week just how much easier everything has become. He can communicate, he sleeps through, he's more interactive and playful. In fact, he's absolutely wonderful to be around. So I'd say hang on until around 18m.

I'm due to have dc3 later this month, and so it'll be back to newborn and baby stage eeek! But at least I know it DOES get easier. I think I found 3-10m the hardest. Terrible night sleep, naps all over the place, teething, separation anxiety so lots of carrying a grumpy baby around, ugh.

Pam0077 Tue 15-Sep-15 20:47:54

Just had an awful evening of DS screaming the house down with me and DH desperately trying to figure out why, no clue!! I'm hanging on to all of your comments that this will get better!! Just thought at 6/7 months it wouldn't still feel quite so damn hard. Feel guilty that I'm not loving every minute which I thought I would, such a shock to the system.

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