4.5yo wants to ditch night nappies - but isn't ready!

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Ds has developed a bit of a preoccupation with his night nappies, i think perhaps on the basis that one of his older cousins has made an off the cuff comment. He's desperate to get out of them and keeps asking if he can sleep without one because he's a 'big boy' and 'doesn't need nappies any more'. The trouble is, his nappies are always heavy to the point of absolutely sodden in the morning and he's not ready. I think this is purely peer pressure. I have explained that lots of little boys still need to wear nappies at night and it's totally normal. I've said that when his 'night time pants' (we don't call them nappies) are dry in the morning it means he's ready to stop wearing them, but there is no rush or pressure. He is adamant that 'only babies wear nappies'. I'm considering let him try, but I'm under no illusions. I also worry that if he wets the bed it'll make him very upset. But part of me wonders if he needs to get it out of his system and at least try it. I am absolutely in no rush and haven't pushed this at all - this is totally him. What would you do?

[bobajob]

I never waited til nappies were dry in the morning. Why not get rid of the nappies, but him to bed without any trousers on and a bed mat on the bed, maybe leave a potty in his room and give him a couple of weeks to get the hang of it? Of course he doesn't want to keep wearing nappies at 4!

[MajesticWhine]

I would let him try it at your peril. Because it's a damn nuisance. We did it with DD3 (now 5yo) and she's very unreliable and we can't really go back to nappies now. We often lift her, i.e. put her on the loo for a wee when she's asleep at around 11pm.
If you do it obviously make sure you have a waterproof sheet on the bed, and you can put those Pampers mats down on top. With a bit of luck that gets soaked and the bed stays dry. Give only water with supper and no drinks after that.

[adoptmama]

Let him try, but as Bobajob suggests, get a rubber sheet to protect the mattress. It can be very upsetting for them at this age - my DD was the same and was a good bit passed 4.5 before she became dry at night and she was desperate to feel she was a 'big girl' and be dry at nights. For the first few weeks I did get her up and stick her on the loo about 11pm as i was going to bed but there were still accidents: more at the weekends due to us getting up a little later. Make sure he has a wee before bed and get him up in the night for one. Remind him if he doesn't wee before bed he may wet it. Some children can get so used to the feel of a wet nappy that they need to actually wet themselves/the bed for their brain to make that switch to simply not emptying the bladder into the nappy/pull up. And lastly make sure you keep reassuring him that it is normal to have accidents, he is not naughty and that accidents can happen even to very big kids. My DD has been out of pullups now for about 8 months and yet still had an accident at the weekend and wet the bed. She was quick to reassure herself that 'it's normal, even grown ups have accidents' and so doesn't feel upset if it happens.

[Shop]

DD1 & DD2 have both done this at 22months & 2.5 respectively.
Neither had dry night nappies before that but both were fine. Some accidents but we didn't restrict drinking after dinner, just made sure they had a wee before bed.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Thanks for your replies.

I suppose I'm wary because the advice is that there's little you can do to encourage night time dryness and it happens on its own when they're ready. I posted about 6 months ago and that's what a lot of people said.

He became reliably dry during the day when he turned 3 and a few people we know made comments about that. But i was adamant it would be easier when he was ready - and it was. He was potty trained within a week. I just worry it'll be a long hard struggle if he's physically not yet ready?

[steppemum]

at 4.5 you can explain about wet beds and see if he still wants to, and then give it a go.

My ds was a very heavy drinker, and slept soundly for 12 hours a night. he could never make it til morning without emptying his bladder, there was just too much volume, so he always had a sodden nappy.
So we lifted him at 11pm, and he was dry in 1 night. We had to go on lifting him for a long time. We stopped once he woke in the night/morning to go for a wee.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

That makes sense steppemum - ds sleeps very soundly, also for 12 hours. So maybe it is simply that we need to lift him onto the toilet (although I'm not sure he'd wake up enough to go!) Worth a try though. The other consideration i have is that we go away on holiday in a caravan next Friday, so not sure timing is great right now. But might try for a couple of nights this weekend. I just don't want him to feel he's 'failed' if it doesn't work out.

[bobajob]

You can either leave them in nappies for as long as possible to avoid wet beds, or you can give it a go and let them have the opportunity to learn to get up and wee in the night.

Sounds like your child wants the opportunity to try.

[bobajob]

I never lifted DS1 as it seemed counter-productive to me. You want them to learn to wake up if they need the toilet, not continue to wee while asleep.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

It's not about avoiding wet beds, I just want to try to make the experience less stressful for everyone - most of all my ds. I'll give it a try and see what happens as mentally he's ready and willing which i guess is half the battle.

[GColdtimer]

I told dd2 who is five as soon as she had 5 nights with dry nappies she could stop wearing them. She did it but does now wake me up every night at about 4 for a wee

[heritagewarrior]

If you can persuade him to stay in night nappies, I would. My DtSS (now 6.5yo) toilet trained at entirely different times (I'm talking one being dry at night for nearly 2.5 years before the other one was) which caused some friction, but DtS2 used to get very upset about trying to go without a nappy and waking up in the middle of the night sodden, not to mention very tired by having his sleep disturbed. We went on for another year from where you are now, and then one week, it just happened, and we've never looked back!

[HenriettaTurkey]

I think your instincts are right. If he's physically not ready, why rush? He may stop worrying in a few days and move on to something new.

DS is 3 and mainly trained but still in night time pull up pants. All in good time...

[Piratejones]

I would sit with him and have a grownup talk about his bladder not being ready, tell him about the hormone his bladder needs to be produced that makes him ready and that it isn't ready to make it yet.

[Seffina]

Hmm I agree that they are ready when they are ready, but my DD started massively kicking off over her night nappy and trying to stop me putting it on and didn't want it on. She'd never had a dry nappy in the morning before but was insistent she didn't need it. Waterproof sheet under the bedsheet, towel on top, potty in the room and a clear explanation that she'd have a wet bed if she weed in it (although she was younger than 4 at the time) and we gave it a go. She's only ever wet the bed once and it was months after that. I know it may not be usual for every child, but sometimes you don't know until you try.

I would give it a try, and have a spare set of sheets handy to avoid having to search in the middle of the night just in case

[Unreasonableandpetty]

None of mine were dry at night as such before they gave up night nappies. Sd was kind of but at her suggestion. She had seen an ad for huggies pyjama pants and tile me
She would be dry at night if she had them because the advert said so and she was. She wasn't long day dry and decided herself.
Both boys it was purely by accident they had gone to bed and I forgot
To put a pull up on and they were both dry in the morning. Both had a small handful of accidents over the next year or so ds1 maybe wet once staraight after removing it but really once only.

If he is instigating it give it a go. Make the bed up twice. Mattress protectors, I like the disposable ones as why absorb the wee then a sheet then mattress protector and another sheet. If he does have an accident you only need to strip off the top layer in the night and there is a fresh set underneath.

[LittleLionMansMummy]

We gave it a try without success and were prepared to try for another night but ds didn't want to and decided he wanted his pull ups back on. It was worth a try but I'm not going to push it. Perhaps he'll feel up to it again in a few months. Thanks everyone for your opinions and advice.

[Piratejones]

Sound like it went well really Little, he's accepted he isn't ready yet without a fight.

[lexyloub]

My ds was around similar age when we stopped the night nappies, I was unsure at 1st as he always had a full nappy every morning but soon realised he wee'd because he knew he could with the nappy on rather than go to the toilet. I'd give him a try limit drinks before bed and a couple trips to the toilet before bed then encourage him to go straight away when he gets up. My ds was dry by the second night we occasionally have the odd accident but generally when we've been out somewhere & he's had lots to drink

[Leviathan]

Hi, I spoke to the Health visitor about DS 4.5 and she suggested Kylie incontinence pads, they are expensive initially, (£26each) but we haven't bought any nappies for several months, so saving there and they last for years so can be used for another child or incontinent relations should the time come. DS is sometimes wet, sometimes dry now but was mostly wet in nappies. (and soaking through as they didn't seem to fit well any more)

HV said that quite they are often not dry at night for some time yet. The pads dry fairly quickly after a wash, and we seem to only need one per night. Wet nights seem totally random and unrelated to having a wee before bed or amount of drink had in a day. And after using reusables through him being a baby it felt a little like going back when I had to use so many disposables for just wee...

[letsgotothebeach]

My son still had very wet nappies at night just before age 4. One day he said he didnt want to wear them any more - I was very reluctant to stop using them, but did as he requested. We never had a single accident after that - I couldnt believe it! So might be worth a go?