Sometimes I just wish I could put him back in nappies.

[slaughterfalls]

I have been toilet training ds for 3 years, why why why cant he just get it, I only shampood the carpet yesterday, and this evening I hovered over his poo, great big streaks on the carpet, and it stinks every time I put the hoover on, despite cleaning it and changing the bag, he wets himself on average 3 times a day, sometimes upto eight times, and he will be 6 in Feb.

[mumandlovingit]

have you been to see your health visitor or doc?

is he always like that or is it off and one? could it be stress or that he's worrying about something?

[slaughterfalls]

Well it looks likely that he will be dx with aspergers in the next 12 months, and he hasan EEG scan in a few weeks, it is on and off, but rarely off IYKWIM, Its just so frustrating, I wish I knew for sure that he had no control over it because sometimes I am not so sure, and dh and I argue about how we should deal with it, he refuses to see there is a problem and says he is just lazy.

[sorrell]

Men often have a problem with their kid being diagnosed with special needs. Doesn't mean they are right. I do feel for you. My ds has Aspergers and trained late but was OK by five. Do you make a big fuss? Do you think it might be worth being totally calm for a while? How is he at school?

[hairymclary]

slaughterfalls, why not get some reusable trainerpants? I've heard rave reviews on the motherease bedwetter pants which can hold a full wee.
that way he'd be in pants rather than nappies, but you wouldn't have as much cleaning up to do

[slaughterfalls]

We have tried approaching it from every angle but nothing works, we have tried those training pants but they dont help, besides school wont allow them.

I worry it wont be long before he starts getting bullied, and I hate myself because occasionally I lose my rag with him and shout.

[Tickle]

I sympathise completely with the wetting (thankfully my ds gets to the loo with poo - only a very occasional accident) ds1 was 6 last week, and doesn't have any special needs.

He can stay dry, and has done in the past, but it is only occasionally that I can reuse a pair of trousers the next day - isn't the endless washing infuriating?

He says that he just doesn't remember. Simple as that. We have tried star charts etc, and I too sometimes shout . He is no.2 of our 4 children, and I did notice it got worse after ds2 was born, so it could be an attention thing.

We are actually going through a good period at the moment, so he may be getting better. I too worry about him being teased in school - he has only just started school as we are in Denmark.

Does your ds's ability to be dry vary with any pattern? What does the school say?

[Tickle]

I heard from someone else BTW that they bought their ds a watch with a digital alarm, set for every hour, and he had to go to the loo. I have never tried it, but might it be something that would appeal to your ds?

[Ellaroo]

Slaughterfalls - huge sympathies - it is utterly dispiriting that has a child that won't be fully potty-trained and the constant clearing up is really wearing (and mine only did this for a year until 3 and a half, so can only imagine how you must be feeling - so don't give yourself a hard time about shouting on the odd occassion). In our case I veered between thinking it was wilful lazyness to feeling really worried that there was a major problem and so I was quite inconsistent in the way that I dealt with it. Although it sounds as though in your ds's case as though you may feel there is a physical/developmental reason for it - in which case it would seem that you need more support from his school for both you and him. No advice, just huge sympathies on how frustrating and worrying it must be for you. x

[slaughterfalls]

The school agree that the accidents generally happen when his routine changes, and only ever when he is sat down, sos he obviously finds changes very upsetting, although he does'nt say so, but alot of the time they seem to happen for no reason, this is why he is having an EEG scan to check for Petit Mal, as peti ,al attacks generally only occur when sitting down, and anxiety can bring them on.

The watch sounds like a good idea to try, I have one already for his stocking filler so I might give it to him early.

[slaughterfalls]

I am lucky that his school are brilliant with him, he is attending a language unit, and a dance class to improve his motivation, they communicate with me brilliant, and they even managed to bring forward his paedatrician app that both myself and the HV tried but failed to do.

[Tickle]

school sounds brilliant

all i can say is good luck, and hope he finds his stride soon... wishing you a good outcome for the EEG too... keep us posted.

Tx

[slaughterfalls]

Thanks Tickle

[Ellaroo]

oh his school does sound good - I'd misunderstood - the way you'd said about the school not wanting him to wear any sort of trainer pant had made it sound as though they weren't supportive.

[slaughterfalls]

Yes, it sounded a bit harsh the way I worded it, they are helping with the toilet training too, so I suppose if he was in trainer pants they wont know when he has had an accidentas they cant legally check him, they may allow it if he is dx with Petit Mal, because if he is having seizures then he has no control over his bladder, so there would be no training to do.

Thanks for the advice and kind words