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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Getting rid of the dreaded dummy! Advice please

19 replies

Naomih88 · 01/02/2015 12:03

Hi mummies, my daughter will be 3 in June and I think it's time to get rid of her dummy, or dody as she calls it. I have tried to take it away during the day and only giving it to her to sleep but she always manages to pull a dummy out of her never ending hidden supply! She's been unwell lately and I can't help but feel like these dirty things are contributing.
Any advice on how to get her to stop having them? I did have an idea as a friend is having a new baby and I thought maybe saying to my dd that the dummies need to go in a box for the new baby to have now that she's a big girl.
Any advice will be much appreciated :-) xo

OP posts:

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Ohnodisaster · 01/02/2015 12:07

Just do it- mine were both dimmyaholics and I thought they'd never give them up but both did without any fuss! I just chose nights when they were very tired and ready to drop anyway, gave them an extra cuddle and when they asked just said they didn't need one anymore.

Finola1step · 01/02/2015 12:09

We planted all of ours in the garden to "see what would happen". 2 years later - nothing. But the dummies have been long forgotten.

a2011x · 01/02/2015 12:18

Mine gave hers to the babies that needed then

Chocolateteabag · 01/02/2015 17:37

Ds1 was 3.4 before we finally got rid of his.

We made it into a night time only thing first, then went away one weekend and "forgot" the dody. He managed through the night and was given a small toy as a reward (think it was a toy plane - the 30p ones) anyway something he liked as he was such a "big boy"

However don't worry too much - they are at least washable/sterilisable/changeable unlike my friends DS's soft blanky toy which he is still obsessed with at 4.5 or other friend's dd who sucks her thumb to death at 6.

Ds2 completely refused a dummy, and I really wish he would take one even now at 13 mo it would be something to calm him down on occasions where he's whingey and horrid. He has no comfort item at all except cuddles from me!

Lonecatwithkitten · 01/02/2015 17:40

We swapped it for something DD really wanted, a Snow White dress. She was just over three so fully able to understand. She asked once for the dummy and we reminded her that she would loose the dress is she had them back, never looked back.

FannyFanakapan · 01/02/2015 17:46

Getting rid of the dummy causes so much fear in us adults! In reality, the kids cope remarkably well without dummies - a bit sad for a couple of nights but then they are fine. Just keep them super busy for a couple of days so they are really tired at bedtime and throw them all away. or plant them. Or give them to babies. Or swap them. Whatever is going to work best for your child.

ALso read the last noo-noo by jill murphy.

LemonYellowSun · 01/02/2015 17:48

With DS1 we bought a special box (that's what we called it) and told him he only needs his dummy at night as he is a big boy so keep it in the box to keep it safe during the day. I got the idea from someone else and I was very sceptical. But he never got it out in day. Then he just decided to give it up at night a few months later.

DS2 put it on the Christmas tree to let Santa take it to a baby who needed it. He got a special present in exchange and it worked a treat. You probably don't want to wait til Devber though

JaquelineHyde · 01/02/2015 18:07

I did a piece of work with a young girl who was just about to start school who refused to give her dummy up.

We made a large envelope and decorated it together and wrote a letter to the Dummy Fairy offering all of the dummies for new babies that needed them.

We then went on a dummy hunt round the house and made sure we got every last one.

I then posted it and a week later when the dummy had been fully dropped the Dummy Fairy sent a reply saying how well she had done and included a small gift to replace the dummies and say thank you.

Naomih88 · 02/02/2015 09:09

Thank you so much :-) she's poorly at the moment so going to wait until she's feeling better and then see if we can give it a shot. Xo

OP posts:

Emmie412 · 02/02/2015 13:42

My advice would be not 'see if we can give it a shot'. If you take it away, you have to stay firm as it is likely that she will protest and if you give in, it will be twice as hard next time. And all those tears would have for nothing. Mine would have NEVER given up on her own will so one day I just cut them all. Partially because then I knew there would be no temptation to give it to her. Day time naps went with it and going to sleep was tough for 2 months or so but then, it was better. She was 2,5 at the time and I just got tired of the constant whining for the dummy - and she was too big for it too.

tortoisesarefab · 02/02/2015 13:46

My friend got her daughter a build a bear and put the dummies in that.

Opipjo · 02/02/2015 13:59

My Ds2's dummies 'broke' (he was 2yr 9 months), i snipped the teat off them all and left them in a pile...and just did a dramatic "uhohh what's happened, they're broken". He put them in the bin quite happily waving good bye to them.

ElleOhElle · 02/02/2015 14:15

Pretty box, all dummies go in, DD said goodbye to each one, told her the dummy fairy was coming to take them away for new babies, put DD in the bath, quickly swap dummies for a teddy that sings lullabies. asked DD to open the box after her bath. cue total amazement and never asked for dummy again.

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 03/02/2015 17:15

Mine was a lot younger so I didn't use any techniques (no advice there) but what I would like to tell you is how much easier it was than I thought it would be.

I was in tears with worry and guilt before I'd even tried to take it away - convinced it would be the worst thing ever. It took 2 days for bedtime to be fine and a further 6 days for naptimes to be fine. That was all. After just a week he wouldn't even make a beeline for another baby's dummy, and he was terrible for that before.

Good luck!

gemmatommo · 03/02/2015 19:48

Just get rid. Stay strong. They cry for a while but just keep with it. It's more about you than them. X

youngestisapyscho · 03/02/2015 19:51

We did the dummy fairy... All dummies were put on the bedroom windowsill for the fairy to come and take them for new babies and a present was left for DD.

youngestisapyscho · 03/02/2015 19:52

Just to add, we did that the day she started nursery, as she did not need them being such a big girl going to school! It worked....

NotChimpandZeeagain · 03/02/2015 19:54

Gosh, I was meaner than some of you! Ds saw a toy he wanted in a shop. I bought it and put it on a high shelf and told him he could have it after seven nights with no dummy. He agreed and that was it! When I had tried before he had such hysterics they turned into an asthma attack. I think he was just ready the second time. And the bribe was better...

strawberrypenguin · 03/02/2015 19:55

We just took the away during the day and then just after DS turned 3 we 'posted' (put in envelope that I took to work with me to 'post') them to Peso (octonauts) for him to give to the poorly baby sea creatures! The 'octonauts' wrote him a letter back thanking him and sent a cuddly octonauts toy too. That night he asked where his dummy was, we reminded him, he said 'oh yes' and went to sleep! They've not been asked for again!

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