Bedtimes are becoming intolerable

[Daffyduckaroo]

Hi guys,

I need some advice regarding sleep practices and bedtime routines as my own routine is just unbearable now.
I have DD7 and DS3, they will not sleep unless I am tucked in with the both of them, yes literally tucked in between the two of them, in MY bed.
We have a great run up to sleeping, happy showers, relaxing reading, but they simply cannot, or will not sleep if I put the lights out and say goodnight and close the door. I know I have made the situation what it is but I really want to change it now for the better. when my DD was young, it was quite nice reading to her and then snuggling with her until she fell asleep. then came along DS and didn't want to stop that special time at night I shared with her. Then DS became aware of this over indulgence and wanted the same.
So here we are. Once asleep, DD is put in her own bed, but DS stays with me (that's a whole different thread I know!!!)

Any advice, suggestions are welcome please.....

[Cedar03]

When you say 'cannot sleep' do you mean that you eventually give up and get in the bed? If you refuse how long will it go on for?

My 7 year old can be awake for more than an hour after we've put her to bed. That behaviour can be perfectly normal. I'd tackle the 7 year old first - change her bedtime routine so it's not the same time as your younger child's. Focus on giving her something which is a sign of her being more grown up as a reward for staying in bed. Change the routine so you are not reading in bed with her. Read downstairs first so you are all snuggled up together. Then tell her it's time to stop - choose an exciting point in the book - then promise to read more of the story with her snuggled in her bed. Get a hot water bottle, make it all cosy and then get her into it. Let her read to herself for a bit on her own afterwards if she wants to. I'm sure you know that as you've been doing this a while then it might take time to change. So some form of reward would be good for her.

With the three year old we had a similar problem where we had to stay in the room until she dropped off to sleep. We gradually started leaving the room 'to go and get something' and also told her that she was a big girl now so she could go to sleep. It suddenly started working.

[Daffyduckaroo]

Cedar03 thanks very much. I guess it is a game of perseverance. My DD has also just recently become excessively clingy towards me ever since I had my tonsillectomy (just this Christmas). Im going to have to prepare my nerves of steel and just execute the plan!
My DS is another tantrum waiting to happen. but as you suggest, one at time if I want to keep my sanity :-)

[bowlofbananas]

My dd is also 7. She goes up to bed at 8pm reads to me and then I read to her. We then put on a story cd and she listens to that whilst falling asleep. This seems to keep her in bed, and she is one to try to get out of bedtime with any excuse she can think of! Stair gate at 3 year olds door may help them to get the message of staying in their bed. They should get the massage after a couple of days.

[bowlofbananas]

Good idea about different bedtime too. 3 year old could go at 7pm so dd7 feels grown up so may be more receptive to own bed.

[Daffyduckaroo]

hmmm food for thought definitely bowlofbananas.....thanks

[Whereisegg]

I'd be tempted to keep the status quo until half term if your dc can catch up on sleep in the morning then?
I'd start talking about it though, maybe choose a new duvet cover set/soft toy/story cd to be used from the last day of school only if finances allow.