Baby unable to sleep in cot

[alatus]

Dear All,

Our 12 month old son is having issues settling himself at night in his cot.

His cot is in our room.
He sleeps in his cot at 7, but usually wakes up crying around 11pm.
He can't sleep in his cot from then onwards and ends up sleeping on top of my partner in bed.
We try to put him on his back in our bed, but moves around unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

We stopped giving him the dummy two weeks ago.
Would this be the cause and would it be very unwise to reintroduce it.

Any advice would be so appreciated.

Thanks.

[Andcake]

Not a fan of the dummy but my ds did this from 6-18 months or so. We ended up co- sleeping dp in spare room. We made time for sex on ither occasions.
Tbh we never solved it- we tried cry it out- ds just wouldn't go to sleep- just stayed awake.
How we overcame it at 18 months was moving ds into own room, big single bed, made it v dark we made sure ds didn't fall asleep attached to us in anyway- which led to crying but nothing voice soothing or singing didn't cure. If ds woke dp or I would go into the bed but never again brought him into ours. From day 2 he slept through
It's not perfect we have phases where I'm constantly in their from maybe 2 am- but then we have great weeks where he sleeps through every night. He's now 2.5 he never liked the cot full stop

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Id give the dummy back and see if that helps - even if you just give it at eleven when he wakes. If that doesnt work, fine, try something else, but if its tied to the dummy then just go back to it. Keeping it for sleeps only is fine and can be tackled a year or so down the line if needed.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

And if he is uncomfortable on his back, has he maybe got wind? Or would he entertain side or front sleeping?

[33goingon64]

Any particular reason he's still in your room at 12 months? He could be disturbed by your presence/smell etc. A friend had same issue, moved 9 mo into own room and problem stopped immediately. Try it!

[alatus]

Thanks for all for your messages!

One of the problems with London is its high rents, which is why we're at the moment in one bedroom, and could be one major reason why he's waking up, e.g. sound, presence, smell etc.

We've tried putting him on his back and side too but to no avail. Gripe water etc. but no effect

Maybe re-introducing the dummy is an option, but we read somewhere that it's a bad idea to bring it back. But yes, we could tackle that issue later along the line.

I think in the past, it was ultimately the dummy that got him back to sleep.
We've tried cuddly toy in the cot as well, but no good.

Perhaps the separate rooms option is the way forward.

Would the gradual withdrawal method work seeing that we're all in the same room?

Thanks for all your comments!
Really appreciated!

[LittleBearPad]

Give him his dummy back and see what happens.

[Jaffakake]

I would try giving the dummy back. Don't stress about it, if it works. Ds still has his at 3.5yrs. He only has it to drop off to sleep & there's no impact on his teeth. We're expecting him to give it up soon when ds2 arrives & ds1 realises they're for babies.

[AlwaysDancing1234]

If you really don't want the dummy could you try another comforter such as a silky soft blanket or something? I did this with DS and put the blanket close to my skin for a few minutes before he had it the first few nights so it had a comforting scent.