15 month old will not feed himself

[alexh]

Will pick up toast/frui etc with his fingers
But flatly refuses to use a spoon. Insists on being fed

Any tips?
Anyone else had this?

I am pregnant, possibly with twins, and really can't face the thought of him not feeding himself at 23 months (when it/they will be born)

[tribpot]

Erm, are they meant to use a spoon at 15 months?! Heck - mine doesn't!

alexh - congrats! I think my advice would be try not to worry too much, 23 months and 15 months are not the same.

[TheUnholyTrinity]

my 19 month old has just started using a spoon, unfortunately I think if you try to force it he will resist even more. also ,sorry to say it, but even if he was feeding himself he may regress when the baby/babies come along so tyou may be feeding him anyway.

[alexh]

I am surrounded by friends with children who feed themselves at the same age(2nd children admittedly). I have not much else to benchmark it against. Hence asking wise MNers

Might not be twins - had an incredibly early scan to date pregnancy as have PCOS and there were 2 sacs but no heartbeats yet....apparently there is quite a high "vanishing rate" between now and 8 weeks when I am having another scan

[tribpot]

Right, I am off to ask this on the Junie thread, no doubt will discover my ds is the only one not doing it - like the only one still not walking arrgghh.

[alexh]

Mine isn't walking yet either - he can, but chooses not too.....VERY lazy spoilt first child.....

[justaphase]

DS is one, he refuses to be spoon-fed but can not use a spoon so the only way to get something into him is to let him feed himself finger foods.

A have a parenting book (published 30 years ago) which says at 15 months the child should feed himself with a spoon, sitting quietly at the table with a clean tablecloth on; not touch the food with his hands. He should not require reminding to finish his food or distractors.

Same book also says you should potty train from four months and if child is not dry within a few months it is the mother's fault.

A one year old should have 6 to 8 teeth.

At one a child should be using between 10 and 15 words.

I love it!

[Eliboo]

Sounds pretty normal to me. dd could use spoon, and would for something like yoghurt, but was much happier using her fingers for ages. I did'nt worry about it, tbh...she's growing out of that now (at 2.10 ).
If your ds will feed himself with fingers, sounds ok to me - he'll get there with spoon, then later on fork, really! That said, there are still times when dd is ill, or very tired, that she just stops eating if not helped a bit...and its the same with most of her friends. I don't think your ds is that unusual.

[Eliboo]

And dd didn't walk until 16 months, either. She could, but she was scared to let go of a finger - I don't think it was laziness, just caution.

[tribpot]

alex - precisely. He can do it, and will do it for applause, but as a way of moving from one place to another? You must be joking!

[hunkermunster]

Sounds completely normal to me. DS1 couldn't feed himself with a spoon at 15mo, but was managing perfectly well by the time DS2 arrived (when he was 21m).

You're talking about eight months away. Think eight months back. How much has he changed in that time?

And don't fall into the trap of calling him lazy. Bit much for a 15mo!

[CheesyFeetcomingtoGETyou]

He'll do it when he's good and ready

Do you eat with him? Try eating breakfast at the same time as him, if he sees you eating with a spoon then he will try to copy you.

15mo is a bit early to worry too much. I can't remember when dd started using a spoon but at 2.3 she still makes a right bloody mess

[sunandmoon]

Our DD is 15 months old and has been refusing me or DH to feed her for about 2 months now unless she had 1 spoon in her hand herself. Now, She can hold a little fork and can sort of feed herself but WHAT A MESS!!!! At her nursery they told me that there is no age for them to start feeding themselves, and some babies love being fed, others like eating finger food and others like our DD, wants to do it themselves... No hurry then!!!!

[JonahB]

Alex, my DS is a similar age and isn't using a spoon yet. If you scoop a bit of food onto the spoon, sometimes, it will find its way into his mouth. More often than not it ends up smeared on his face/me/the floor/the cat.. you get the picture.

I really wouldn't worry, i think its normal.

Trib, you're not on your own!!!!!

[MrsFish]

My son has just turned 16 months, he is interested in using a spoon and will put the food in his mouth, if I load it up for him first, but that is usually after I have fed him half of it myself.

He isn't walking yet either. He is a demon around furniture, with his walker or holding onto a finger but he just doesn't seem confident enough to go it alone yet. He will do the odd 4 or 5 steps to us, as someone has already mentioned if it is for applause, but other than that he just doesn't seem interested, or he is being lazy and realises he can get places faster by crawling.

He isn't really saying any recognisable words either, just lots of noises, latest is 'gah' at everything, not sure what he means


Oh well, he'll get there eventually.

[Amaretto]

Both my children were feeding themselves at that age BUT ds1 was full time at nursery so had children in front of him eating with a spoon to copy & nursery was keen in teaching them to use a spoon.
ds2 ha always refused any food to go in his outh that HE didn't put himself (even at 4~5 monthsold...) so yes he learn to use a spoon pretty quickly. I need to say that for some time, I was looking around for finger food recipes though. He has been using a spoon to eat albeit with fingers to help since he was 10~12 months old.

[merrily]

My 18 month old DD has only started using a spoon in the last couple of weeks or so. She manages two or three spoonfuls, then gets bored and reverts to using her fingers - much easier! She has also started using her fork to spear bits of pasta and other chunks of food. I just offer her the spoon and fork with every meal and she uses them if she feels like it.

She stopped letting me feed her with a spoon at about 12-13 months old, so since then she has been eating all finger food. Hasn't been a problem really, doesn't matter how the food gets into their mouths does it, as long as they eat something!

[mysticpeaks]

My dd is 15 months and uses fork/spoon on a whim. Some days she will not let me feed her and uses her fork with amazing dexterity, other days she just puts her spoon into her mouth with nothing on it and lets me feed her inbetween, others she won't let me feed her and uses her fingers (usually on days where I have somewhere to go and its a messy meal!) Others she won't eat at all. Just give your little one baby fork and spoon and let him do what he likes. They are little people with there own whims and all we can do is ride it out (and be ready with baby wipes!!)