How to help 2yr old share with newly crawling baby!

[sofia31]

Baby and toddler had been getting along nicely until ds2 learnt to crawl. Now we have constant tears and tantrums from ds1 whenever ds2 comes near his toys. Its really hard work at the moment. I try and give ds2 something else, but then ds1 just wants that too! Any tips for helping ds1 learn he can't play with all the toys at once, and that his poor brother needs to play too?:(
He does play and share well at nursery and is improving all the time at playdates too so I know he can do it!

[UriGeller]

It's difficult. We never did "share" as I feel sharing is the worst outcome for both children. In our family the rule is "we don't take things off other people" and the child who wants (whatever it is) is taken out of the situation and given lots of attention and helped to "wait for their turn", usually I find they discover something massively more interesting than the thing they wanted before! We keep it positive and funny and laugh lots to take down the temper.

We are luckily right now in the state of play where our 20mo dd will happily give a different toy to her brother (3.5yo) if she has the thing he is getting upset about!

[captainproton]

I have a 2.4 year old and a 14 month old. If one child is playing with a toy then I don't make them share it. I will ask them both if they want to, and say it would be nice if they did, but i don't make them. Youngest I am sure has no clue but one day it might sink in.

eldest is very posessive right now, and she will try and take toys off her brother if she sees him with it, and I stop her and remind her she is not playing with it and she has to wait her turn. now the youngest is getting a bit like this too, and he is having mini tanturms over it, but he will get used to it. i comfort him because he needs to learn to handle this emotion. I am not going to punish them, they are both little. eldest is getting better.

They both have prize toys which the other is not allowed to share unless the other is happy with it. TBH the youngest is oblivious to this but I stand up for his beloved cars and garage toy. My DD loves her 'baby' doll and I never let youngest play with it.

I have also learnt to not give to one without giving to the other, especially food and drinks. It's just a recipe for tantrums if I don't.

[sofia31]

Thank you. Toddler finds it so difficult. I do praise him lots for waiting his turn etc. I like both your approaches. Hopefully he will start to accept he doesn't need to take everything off the baby (especially as it is usually something he has no interest in anyway!)