4 year old crying

[Anomaly]

How often should a 4 year old cry? DS2 doesn't seem to stop. The minute anything doesn't go his way he cries. So no more bananas he cries, sister has something he wants he cries, big brother wins the race he cries. I am so tired of it, it makes the days so long and boring. I have tried to get him to speak - often its not obvious why he's crying so I can't solve the problem. I'm getting so frustrated with him. Any ideas?

[threepiecesuite]

Not really very often at all tbh, only when she wakes up in night feeling poorly, or hurts herself.
But then she's an only so no siblings to argue with.

[ExtraVolume]

Only child here and cries a lot. I think its just personality.

[blondiep14]

Haha! This could be my DS2, my middle child.
Hoping he grows out of it!
I feel your pain. But have no words of wisdom.

[Girlsville]

Dd1 is 4 and crying a LOT. She went through a phase of barely crying earlier in the year, but since the start of school has been crying all the time eg when she doesn't get her way. Tonight for example she cried because dd2 got a new dress and she didn't (she had got 3new dresses last week) and because she wanted dd3s lullaby.

[Nagasaki]

My 4 year old was crying this evening because I picked a bit of fluff off his hair and it "hurt"

Just repeat to yourself "it's only a phase"

[Iggly]

Is he tired? Do you talk to him about how to manage his feelings? E.g. if you're sad, you can say "x/y/z"?

[Anomaly]

I don't think he's tired but he definitely gets very frustrated and expresses this by crying. I'm hoping with maturity he'll learn to manage his disappointment in another way. At the moment there is no middle ground everything is a catastrophe.

We do ask him to talk and I have explained that talking will enable us to solve the problem if we can. But my sympathy starts wearing a bit thin when he comes to me sobbing for what seems the thousandth time that day because his little sister stole his star stickers or some other reason. I do wonder if its because he's the middle child and getting conflict in both directions and when they're all at home there does seem to be a lot of conflict. I need ear plugs I really do!

[Cooki3Monst3r]

Get this... my 4yo cries because she a) "can't cry" or b) she's forgotten to cry.

I'm not joking!

I think your issue here OP is that you have a 4 yo. They are insane.

[SantasLittleMonkeyButler]

Thank you for starting this thread! I have been wondering exactly the same about DD (3.5).

I can't ever remember DS1 or DS2 crying so much at this age .

I am fed up of saying "crying won't help, use your words to tell me what the matter is".

[tobysmum77]

my dd was like this. She definitely did it for attention though. It's difficult but in the end I dealt with it by not giving it the attention and being harsh. Also by making sure I had positive stuff to give her attention for (eg star chart, jobs round the house) In her case it was mini but controlled tantrums really rather than being upset as such. When she stayed school her teacher was adamant it was tantrumming and no more, no less)

FWIW she's now 5.5 and doesn't do it anymore so see that light. .....