3y dd messing herslef

[bluboy145]

Hi there
My dd goes to full time nursery and has been for 6wks now. Since starting she has wet her self many times in school and at home. She hadn't done that since Christmas. She is also soiling herself nearly every day. First it started with her holding herself so I took her to the doctors and they gave me movicol to help. But now it's like she doesn't care and if she is asked does she need to go or to go she just says no. (Obviously if she's with me I make her) I really don't know what to do. I've taken her toys away and said she needs to have a clean day before gettting one back. Ive stopped treats also. Has anyone experienced this with their child? People keep saying to me it's Not normally girls that do it. I really don't know where to go with this.

[Jessbags001]

Firstly, what consistency is the soiling? Diarrhoea or more normal? And have her poos changed consistency since this started? Google the Bristol Stool Chart and see if you can grade her poos with a number. The more loose ones are naturally harder to hold, so best to eliminate a tummy problem causing it (I'm sure the doc went through this though).

Don't worry about people saying it's not normally girls, it CAN be girls, which is all that matters. Is there any chance that the taking the toys away will stress her, making her feel 'naughty' when she's only 3yrs and potentially can't control it anymore for whatever reason. I do get how easy it is to forget how young they and punish inappropriately, it's something I'm always getting cross with myself for doing.

Maybe focus on the positives only (sticker chart, starting with wees in the toilet as well perhaps) to see if you can retrain her. Maybe something has happened at nursery that is making her anxious (either to do with the toilet or just generally, especially as she's only just started there), and the soiling is just a symptom of that. If that's the case, going back to basics and making the toilet 'fun' again with stickers/stories might help. Perhaps pull-ups at nursery in the mean-time...

[bluboy145]

Jessbags001 thank you for your response. I just spoke with her teacher saying that I'm being bad cop all the time lately and need a new approach I think the sticker chart may be a start. Half term next week so I will have a whole week with her so maybe I might start the whole potty training again. And i think your right about the age thing. Shes such a clever little thing that maybe I'm putting to much pressure on her. Thanks

[Jessbags001]

No problem, hope it gets sorted soon and you can keep your perspective and patience through it (my biggest problem). So easy to expect too much from your own toddler because you know them so well. Sounds like half term is just what you need to get to the bottom of it (opps haha, no pun intended there!). Best of luck!

[OldNickFallenAngel]

OP- my DD is doing something similar. Had been toilet trained ( sort of) for ages but is now resisting going and she wouldn't get dressed without wearing a nappy yesterday. I've been the Bad Cop too, I feel awful but I've tried positive reinforcement, rewards, stickers etc and its not helped.
Does your DD 'go' at the same sort if time every day? Can you predict so you can fetch potty or get her to the toilet in time?
Has she regressed and has she had any big changes recently? My HV suggested changes can alter behaviour ( starting/ changing hours at preschool or nursery or changes at home)
Sorry I'm not much help but you are not alone!

[SageYourResoluteOracle]

My DD did exactly the same (mostly poo though) having been potty trained for 6 months and very reliable. Curiously enough, it happened in the weeks preceding a house move so we think that it was due to stress and a way for her to 'control' something in her life when everything else seemed out of control. She grew out of the stage pretty quickly!