1 year old refusing evening meal - HELP!

[kipper22]

As the opening sentence says really, DS is 13 months old and has suddenly decided that he doesn't want to eat his evening meal. He eats his breakfast (e.g. 1 weetabix with milk and banana or 2 pieces of chopped fruit with Greek yoghurt and a piece of toast; always with a beaker of water) at 7ish, then has 6oz of milk before his nap at about 10.30. He has something such as soup (about 1/3 of a can) and a slice of bread or a bowl of veg and pasta followed by a yoghurt (petit-filous size) or some fruit at 1.00 (again with water) then 4oz milk and a snack of fruit or (if we're being naughty ) a biscuit mid afternoon. When I'm preparing dinner he clings round my legsd and is always interested in what I'm doing, then we eat as soon as DH gets in at 5.30. He's been fine with this routine until the last few weeks when he's started refusing to eat anything at all and just cries as soon as we show any signs that it's time fo him to eat (i.e. putting on a bib, sitting in his high chair, etc.) By 7 when he has his 6oz milk he's perfectly happy again and drinks it as he always has. So what can I do?! I know he's getting plenty and I shouldn't worry, but I don't want him to think he can go off and play while DH and I are eating - it's like rewarding him for being "naughty". On the other hand, I don't want to force the issue and make mealtimes a sad affair. He's always been happy to eat anything (he still is during the daytime) and loved having his dad feed him in the evenings. Sorry for rambling, but this is really starting to get us all down. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[Sunnysideup]

absolutely don't try and force him to sit at the table while you and dh eat; you'll just create a stress situation for you all and mealtimes do not need to be associated with that.

He is still a baby; he knows when he is and isn't hungry. Maybe it's time to drop some of his oz's of milk? Maybe he is just not hungry at dinnertime; their growth and development DOES slow down after the first year, doesn't it - otherwise if we kept growing at the same rate we'd be the size of king kong by adulthood! We found with our ds that his food intake did get less at around this age.

If I were in your position I would either cut out a milk and give water instead, or cut out the afternoon snack completely, and bring dinnertime forward a little bit. That's what I did with ds and while it meant that we didn't eat with dh it at least meant he got a good dinner inside him - and this doesn't go on for ever, ds is now four and in the last year now happily makes it (most days) to dinner a bit later, with all of us.

hth?

[sandcastles]

DD stopped eating a good meal at dinner time when she was around 1. A childminder friend suggested that I gave her dinner at luchtime & lunch at dinner time. Her theory was that maybe dd to tired ta make the effort to eat much in evening. It worked.

She is now eating dinner at dinner (is 3.1) but still, when I know she hasn't slept well and is likely to be tired (like the first couple of weeks when we emigrated to Oz)I will swap it round just to make sure she gets that good meal...usually always works!

[Sunnysideup]

meant to say, ever since ds passed about one year old, we have ALWAYS found that he will only really eat one 'big' meal a day; he will either have a good, big lunch OR dinner, can't seem to stuff himself at both.

When he was younger like your ds I tended to give him a proper cooked lunch so that I knew he was stoked up for the day; also when he was tired and more fractious in the evening, I didn't HAVE to factor in cooking a big meal as well if he wasn't in the mood and was going to make life hell while I cooked, so I would do soup and a sandwich, or a toasted sandwich and salad or something. I did think that sometimes his reluctance to eat a big cooked meal at dinner was partly due to tiredness so that's why I did it at lunch when he seemed to have the energy for eating it!

At 12/13 months they are starting to get much more mobile and do get more tired.

[Sunnysideup]

sandcastles, snap!!!

[kipper22]

Thanks, both . I think you're telling me what I should have known really, but was just too stressed to think about! I think I was just worried that he wasn't getting enough nutrition, but swapping the meals would cover that. I'll try that before moving the evening meal time - just feel sad at the idea of us not all sitting down together the way we were doing cos I'm a bit sentimental like that!

[sandcastles]

kipper.. I love it that we all sit down for a meal, I used to love it at home when I was little (mum worked evenings so we only ever ate as a family on sunday lunch). It will happen eventually, he can sit with you and play/draw if he isn't eating, at least then you still have that family time.


Sunnysideup, great minds, eh?

[kittywits]

Kipper, when I only had ds1 I knew exactly how much he ate, poor little blighter. Now I have 5 kids ranging from 8 years to 8 months and i am happy if just one of them eats most of their dinner.
If you were to ask me how much the baby or 2 year old ate I wouldn't have a clue. To look at them though it is clearly enough.
What I am saying is that over the years i have realised that kids will eat enough and getting worked up about it spells axiety for everyone concerned. If your son isn't interested in food at dinner time then don't feed him! Feed him when he is.

[PanicPants]

Kipper, ds has always been a real pain when it comes to food, and now I've stopped worrying too much about it.


But I have noticed (like the others) that ds tends to eat more at lunch time, so I try and make sure he has a lovely meal then and not worry too much about teatime.

We never get to eat together as a family as dp doesn't get home until after 7 on most days