I've not really been on here for years but would really appreciate some advice/reassurance or even just an "I'm in the same boat".
DS1 is Y6, summer-born and has always been an absolute dream. An 'easy child' from the start. Since he hit 10 last summer I've noticed he is going through a lot of changes which I completely expect in a hormonal pre-teen. He got a little lazier, a little stroppier, a little sweatier and a lot more opinionated All this is fine and we deal with it like we always have...by being firm and fair and by talking about feelings openly. What does worry me though is how he suddenly seems to be putting a lot of pressure on himself.
He plays football (as a keeper) and if he lets a goal in he can get upset. I have asked him about what feelings make him cry and he says he is angry with himself and feels like he is letting the team down. I have explained that he does not need to shoulder that responsibility alone since football is a team sport and a conceded goal is down to more than one person. I have also tried to explain that it doesn't really matter if they don't win and that it's supposed to be about fun and teamwork etc. He listens and appears to understand but a couple of weeks down the road he gets upset again.
He's also started putting himself under some pressure to do well in his SATS...not enough pressure to be wanting to study rather than play Xbox but keeps saying things like "I really want to get a level 5 for my maths." He is probably on the brink of that being achievable but I really don't want him to put himself under pressure. He's 10 FGS. I've been very careful not to be a pushy parent...supportive and encouraging, yes but never pushy. I had a pushy Mum (who meant well) but it still affects how I see myself now and I really didn't want that for him. I just want him to be happy and try his best and to not be so angry with himself if he doesn't meet his own high expectations. I also don't want that anger he feels towards himself to manifest itself in something other than tears as he gets older.
Sorry for the essay!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.
Behaviour/development
Dealing with a child who is very hard on himself?
6 replies
schneebly · 08/03/2014 13:25
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.