DD 3.4 has a phobia of meat - and its getting worse !!! Anyone have experience of this??

[tiswas]

Hi there,
My dd 3.4 has always been a nightmare to feed. Has never touched meat, fish, eggs or cheese (exept dairylea) From the moment she was on solids she would not touch anything with meat in it. This has grown into an ardent disgust, and now its at phobia levels. I stopped long ago trying to encourage her to eat meat and eggs, she will have a hissy fit even if its on her plate. She has been known to phsically gag and be sick when I'm cooking steak or fish, and she will get the air freshener from the loo and spray it all round the kitchen before coming in !
Tonight was the icing on the cake, me and dh had roast chicken, salad and potatoes for dinner, she had her dinner (roasted veg lasagne) and was eating her yogurt and handed it me to scrape out for her - then we had the biggest fit yet because my hands were smelly!! (I'd like to point out they smelt ever so slightly of chicken) She would not even touch the spoon I'd been holding!!
I have always thought this was a phase she would grow out of but it is getting progressively worse. Long ago I gave up trying to get her to try it, so I'm not making it an issue, butshe still does. She eats well, plenty of fruit and veg, loads of milk and yogurt so not too concerned about her diet. But I have no idea where this has come from.
Anyone else got experience of this? Or any other advice please I'm at a loss
Tis X

[Mayadeine]

I remember a girl at school who grew up on a sheep farm. She did not like red meat. This never changed for her into adulthood.

Some people just don´t like meat.

[foxinsocks]

I'd go to the GP and ask for professional help (perhaps they can refer you to a child behaviour person or child psychiatrist).

[jabberwocky]

I agree, this sounds like it has crossed the line from a personal dislike of meat to a phobia. I would want a professional opinion.

[Mayadeine]

wow really fockinsocks! I would just leave it and respect her preferences.

I think its good that you don´t try and push her to eat it tiswas

[tiswas]

I used to stress about it, but TBH there's so much goodness in her diet that I know she's fit and healthy but always feel envious when I see friends kids tucking into meat !!
But I really have no idea where it has come from, it happen long before the realisation of where meat comes from but now she knows chicken is chicken that hasnt helped.

[foxinsocks]

well I think quite soon (if she is 3.4) she'll be going to nursery/school and having to mix with other children eating meat/fish.

As jabberwocky has said, this sounds more like a proper phobia (I mean being terrified of your mum's hands because they have touched chicken is pretty extreme).

My concern would be that you need someone professional to guide you - you don't want to do something now that may make the situation worse for her iyswim.

[tiswas]

God feel like a bit of a failure

[foxinsocks]

noooo

was going to add a sentence in at the end about how you musn't think it was your fault (but thought you sounded v. sensible!)

think of it as you doing your best for her - you want her to feel better about meat/fish and be able to cope with situations that she may face in the future so are seeking out the best possible help for her

[jabberwocky]

yes, don't feel bad about it. Kids develop phobias all the time and who knows how it starts. My ds is not a particularly big meat eater, I think some children just don't like the texture of it in their mouth. But, this is getting really farther along than that and you really want to be progressive about how to handle it, IYKWIM.

[Mayadeine]

I am the only one in our household that eats me - and was vegetarian for many years after leaving home. I always knew I wanted to eat differently from my parents.

Children can act rather dramatically about many things and make scenes. Especially when its suits their individualism.

I would tread very carefully about getting therapy about this, if it was an avenue you wished to pursue.

[Mayadeine]

eats me

eats meat

[tiswas]

I'm not really sure tbh but it is upsetting, she has been to macdonalds parties where all the kids are tucking into nuggets & burgers - she has chips & carrot sticks, I don't think her habits will change when she goes to school.

[tiswas]

BTW - not that I really want her to eat that stuff - but it would be a start!

[Mayadeine]

Do you have vegetarian meal only nights?

She may appreciate it and help her understand the concept of tolerance of others preferences when eating.

[tiswas]

TBH she has what we have usually without the meat, instead she'll have carrot sticks, cucumber, chopped apple and chips!! If we have chips, or if we have lasagne she has a veggie one. If we have a roast she has it all bar the meat and gravy etc

[Mayadeine]

food for thought then

[USAUKMum]

My DD has been known to gag on meat (don't get me started on the night it happened with both sets of grandparents there and what they did/said).

For her it is mostly the texture though. She over thinks it, and pysches herself up about it. We've worked on it for over a year, as she does eat it. Now she doesn't gag anymore, on things (she spits it out instead -- well it is progress).

But your DD does sound a step on. Maybe get some professonal advice on how to handle it? e.g getting her to accept smell, etc. Not actually eat it if she doesn't want to.

[juuule]

My dad has been like this all his life and he is 74yo now. The only meat he will very occassionally eat is bacon or sausage cooked until burnt. We joke that it could be anything So apart from this he eats a vegetarian diet. His parents tried to encourage him to eat a variety of meats but he would gag or sometimes vomit. He would rather go without food than eat it.
Just to say his diet hasn't done him any harm over the years. He drank a lot of milk as a child. At 74 he is quite fit. Can still walk for miles. Recovered well from a stroke.
He doesn't know of anyone else in his family who had this aversion to meat.

[juuule]

I also have a neice who became vegetarian at secondary school after a lesson about animals and meat and food. She hasn't touched meat for about 5+years now.

[edam]

I was a bit like Juule's dad when I was little, found meat repellent and would only eat stuff that was so burnt you couldn't tell it was animal. Have been veggie ever since I left home.

If she is that opposed to meat, think her reaction to fingers that have been handling chicken is understandable. It's a bit like the reaction a Muslim friend of mine has to pork - sheer disgust. The smell of meat or fish cooking turns my stomach, for instance, and I could never eat from a plate that had meat on it.

You may just have to accept that she's a born veggie. Do get all the info you can on healthy veggie diets for children, because she does need protein and fat, for instance, and you don't want all her protein to come from dairy (milk alone does not contain all the eight amino acids you need) - the Vegetarian Society has loads of recipes.

[aitch71]

i have a veggie friend who always refused to eat meat. she says she doesn't know why, even when she was very young she just didn't see how it was food, really, so when people would try and feed it to her it would completely bamboozle her and she would get upset.

she's not vegan, and she doesn't appear to have any food issues as far as i can see, she just doesn't like the taste of meat. or the fact that it has fibres running along it, i think... she can't really describe the aversion, she just feels it really strongly.

that said, it probably wouldn't do any harm to ask for a referral to someone, but it certainly sounds like you have been very patient and understanding so far.

[tiswas]

Thanks for all your replies & support, will definately think about some of your suggestions
Tis X

[spiker]

tiswas - I was just like your dd, and like juuule's dad, I would gag or vomit if meat/fish was forced down me (am pleased to say that my mum accepted how I felt so I don't have many memories of this happening). Your DD's a natural vegetarian and I doubt she will ever change. I didn't like being different from other people (this was the 70s...), but nothing would have made me eat it.

I really feel for her. Just the sight/smell of meat made me feel physically sick, but over the years I learnt to control this as it's difficult to lead a normal life without encountering meat! She'll need to do the same so I think it would be OK to get some help for her. I know how difficult it made my childhood, I could have done with some help (mind you it was the 70s, so I was a total freak to most people).

I think you are being great with her - you respect how she feels, and she certainly has a better diet than I did at her age. I didn't enjoy being veggie until I went to uni when I found out that I wasn't the only one