innocent mistake sexual?

(29 Posts)
againsttheoddsididit Thu 30-Jan-14 21:39:38

My child who is four regularly goes to a crèche at the gym. It is large and busy and there are a variety of qualified childcare workers who supervise the children. They are generally good.
My son is very tactile and loves cuddles.
One day I went back to the crèche unexpectedly as I had forgotten something. The crèche was noisy and busy. My son had his hand on a childcare workers penis. And he commented on it. He said I can feel your penis. The childcare worker did not seem too bothered by it. He moved away from my son and made no comment. I felt very uncomfortable. I didn't know what to do so I did nothing. The man concerned is young and pleasant. I don't know what to think? I would hate to say something when it was just an innocent event. What do others think?

againsttheoddsididit Fri 31-Jan-14 08:37:24

As mentioned above I do not think he got a cheap thrill or any such thing.I said I thought he is young and was probably doing what he thought best. I am not going to take up the offer of childcare because at the time I didn't address the issue and I still feel uncomfortable about it. I have no wish whatsoever to stir up bad feeling or to put anybody in a vulnerable position as regards their profession. My intention is to get feed back from others on how given the circumstances they might have dealt with it. And ultimately to do what is best for my son.

ChocolateWombat Fri 31-Jan-14 08:39:25

Hello again. I wonder if your concerns are more about the fact that you need to find new childcare. Finding someone, feeling comfortable about them and feeling anxious about your child settling and being happy with someone else might really be the issue that is worrying you. Do you think this might be the issue OP and as part of this, you have remembered the incident of several weeks ago and somehow it has got tied up in your broader anxiety about finding the right person. Perhaps you are a bit worried about the fact your child might touch a new carer and how they might handle it.
Sorry if this amateur psychology is way off mark, but I just suddenly wondered if its just generally an anxious time for you and so this very minor thing which happened has taken on greater significance in your mind?

againsttheoddsididit Fri 31-Jan-14 08:47:36

Thanks Wombat. I am happy with my current childcare arrangement. But I think the situation has made be think about talking to my child in a light hearted way about touching and boundaries.

tiredandsadmum Fri 31-Jan-14 09:55:28

Do look at the NSPCC campaign called Pants. It is fab. I have been using it with DS.

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