unreasonable shouting husband

[CHHOTEE]

i have loving & caring husband,but his problem is he gets angry very fast & if you try to clarify the situation he tells he does not want to listen .Even after later stage he does not want to clarify. & is very much possesive about children & in front of children he is telling me to talk properly with children ,as a result children know that what papa says is right & what mama says ,can be right if papa tells so. & children have developed a habit of complaining against mama because father takes those complains seriously ( yestarday water supply was not there ) child is complaing to father ,due to mama water is gone .
if mama tells to finish homework ,child is not doing. When papa tells at least he tries to do the work .
I feel double problem-child has not done the work & second father tells how come he is not listening to you & he is listening to me.
He does not know because of his behaviour with mother child is not listening to mother. If i will tell the child u will not get pizza if you do not finish this work,husband will take it very lightly & he will shout on me that u do not know how to keep your children happy & he will order pizza.
As a result children are going into wrong direction. I can not understand how to handle the situation .most of the time i take approach,ok let him do whatever he wants,but when third persons tell about our children then he tells me mother should also teach children somthiong & i feel ,i am not allowed to say anything at the right time & when it comes in front of others i get the blaim.
Big tension in house.pls help!!

[Beauregard]

I would sit dh down and -tell- him that when parenting 'our' children he must be supportive of me in front of the children,his behaviour only confuses the children and undermines you.
Give your dh a slap from me

[edam]

Agree with Pelvicfloor, it's important that your husband shows your children that he respects you. If he demonstrates that he doesn't, then they won't either.

[clairemmcc]

You should be able to discuss things with your husband and work as a team to bring up your children together. He should not undermine what you are saying, especially not in front of your children and he should not make you feel that your parenting skills are not up to scratch. To me, it sounds as if this is the other way around! You really need to have a serious talk to him about the way you are feeling and the way he is acting. It can only have a negative impact on your children if things continue the way they are and you are made to feel unhappy in your home. Good luck with everything

[CHHOTEE]

now i have a live in maid ,my husband shouts on me infront of her telling dont call her when she is busy though i feel i am myself careful on that part . Can anyone tell is he reasonable .he can tell same thing when she is not around.at the same time if he needs anything he will call her even if she is in balcony away from the place where he is standing & calling.
such an unreasonable person he is .i really do not know what is the solution.

[CHHOTEE]

my elder son who is 9 year old has a very poor apetite .we are pure vegetarians. he is always sick ,has asthma,what should i do?

[acnebride]

Chhotee, has your husband always talked to you in this way, or is is something that has changed since you had children?

I know that a friend of mine was referred by her health visitor for a parenting skills course. It sounds like you could both do with attending one, not because you or your husband is wrong or right, but because you are not working as a team at the moment.

(To be honest I don't see how you could possibly work as a team with your husband as things are, I'm not saying you should agree with him. But clearly he is not going to respond to a suggestion that he is in the wrong - the best you could hope for is to go jointly.)

I have no experience of medical problems as you describe - what does your son's doctor say?

You sound as if you feel very alone. Could you talk to the maid about how she feels about her job - is she friendly?