Dealing with 15 month old tantrums / temper??

[LovelyWeatherForDucks]

Just after a few tips on how to manage my 15 month old DSs recent temper tantrums....

He's always been quite 'spirited' but the last couple of weeks (inc returning to nursery after the Christmas break and start of canines coming through) have been challenging....everything provokes a scream and back arching....getting dressed, nappy change, being out his his highchair, coat going on, put in pushchair, going in the bath, getting out the bath, had enough food, going in his cot, you get the picture. He goes into a total rage and flings himself around, kicks and pushes everything in reach, grabs at me if I try and put him down...and so on. He won't happily play on his own, just wants to be picked up all the time.

I'm trying to ignore the tantrums, keep calm and carry on with the task in hand - is this right? Or if we are just playing and he gets cross, I let him tantrum and carry on playing and he gradually calms and join in again. He gets cross if I hold him and cross if I put him down when he's in a state!
If he throws or kicks something I remove the item from his reach without saying much other than 'we don't throw, DS'.
I usually pick him up when he wants, but guess maybe I shouldn't always?

I know at this age he is not really in control of his emotions and he's not doing it to be difficult.... he is not quite walking or talking yet so probably really frustrated - but if there is anything I can do to encourage him to be a bit calmer and independent them I'd like to try! It's making life stressful for me and can't be enjoyable for him either. He's currently yelling in his cot - until 2 weeks ago he'd fall asleep without a peep!

Thanks in advance!

[HumphreyCobbler]

You sound like you are handling it really well imo. I do sympathise. I had one like that. It is really hard work.

One thing, when my ds got really REALLY tantrummy we learned to check for ear infection or tonsillitis. Quite often it was because he was ill. He got a lot of ear infections.

[LovelyWeatherForDucks]

Thanks for the reassurance / sympathy! That's a good point about illness..last time he wasn't himself (not tantrummy though) he did have an ear infection with no real symptoms, if he doesn't settle down in the next day to two a trip to the docs will be in order.

He's been fine at nursery generally during the day, it's like all his pent up emotions come flooding out as soon as he sees me!

Still not settled to sleep....he eventually calms down after lots of cuddles but goes into a rage again when I put him in his cot, even when super sleepy! He's sleeping ok once he eventually drops off, so that to me suggests not pain/illness related but I could be wrong.

[Maltakano]

My dd is like this sometimes, I thought a lot of toddlers were like this, once they learn no! I think you are doing the right things, I do tend to make sure there is nothing she can hurt herself on, and lie her down on the floor, waiting for her to calm down.

Would a tickle help? When he is doing something not especially dangerous, for I would lift her up and remove her from what ever she is doing to the cat/dishwasher/bin and do a big laugh and tickle. That means you can keep "no" for some more dangerous things, like hanging on the stair gate, or pulling a glass down.

[Nocturtle]

I feel the pain. My son is 21m now, and for the last month he's really been "exploring his boundaries". With him, it seems to be all about getting his own way, should he be required to do something he doesn't want to then he kicks off.
We went to a music class today, first time, and trying to get him to sit still was impossible. I had to look around at all these well behaved kids of the same age while trying to calm him down from the red-faced screaming tantrum that he was in.

I don't give in, or get angry, but there seems to be no way to deal with these situations except to remove him and try and settle him down. If the tantrum goes on too long, he just works himself up into a complete meltdown. We had a crying competition in the car afterwards. He won, but I came a close second :)

I'll be watching this thread with great interest!