Massive deterioration in behaviour since starting school.

[Meggymoodle]

Hi there, DS (4) started school 3 weeks ago. Prior to that he had been an average 4 year old with the odd major melt down but his behaviour was reasonable. Since starting school, particularly in the last week, his behaviour has become totally untenable - he is antagonistic and rude and won't do anything he's asked.

This evening he has said he doesn't want to go to bed and has been screaming and shouting and generally being hideous. This is the first time EVER he has given problems at bedtimes. I assumed it was tiredness but I'm just not convinced.

Suggestions please - I'm beginning to find him hard to be around, which I hate.

[PoppyWearer]

I can only offer sympathy.

My DC1 has just started year one and we have some of this, but it's definitely tiredness for us.

I think it's just the effort of behaving all day long. Then they come home and all the bottled-up behaviour comes out.

[WithConfidence]

Yes what Poppy said.

My ds has just started nursery and it's a combination of bossy, rude, naughty, clingy and regressing. Health visitor says it is normal when they go through a big change and just to wait it out, reassuring them but also keeping to your normal rules.

[Meggymoodle]

Thanks ladies. My DH gave him an absolute rocket this morning which seems to actually have improved things, he's being his normally funny, endearing self now which is the first time for a long time. Oh well, we'll wait it out and see.

[ViviDeBeauvoir]

Another one with sympathy but no solutions.
DD started full days in reception on Monday after 2 weeks of half days and has been appallingly behaved at home since.

She's usually a pretty well behaved, polite, kind, caring child but she's been rude (calling me 'stupid' and 'an idiot', which she's never done before), hitting her 2 year old brother and threatening to hit him if he doesn't comply with what she wants him to do (again, she's never done this before), shouting, sulking, the list is endless.
It's got a little better as the weekend has worn on, almost like she's readjusting to family life again, but I'm hoping it is a short term transition and we won't go through it every time there's a school holiday.

[duende]

I'm so relieved to have found this thread...my DS is 4 and started reception 3 weeks ago. He also has a 7 week old sister, so lots of changes at once. From a well behaved, gentle, kind boy who really didn't need disciplining very often, he has changed into a grumpy, frustrated child who shouts at me, raises his voice and clenches his fists because "you are not doing what I want you to, mummy", "you don't understand what I'm saying" , " things are not doing what I want them to". Etc.
Everyday I hear I'm not his friend anymore. He whines and cries.
He was full time t nursery for 3 years but I think he is missing the familiarity of it and his friends. He is shy, which doesn't help.
I've started bringing a cereal bar when I pick him up and not asking him too many questions in the first hour.
Judging moby this thread it's normal and hopefully will pass soon.
I miss me little boy!

[MummyPig24]

This sounds normal. Ds is in year 1 and almost every time he returns to school after a longer holiday his behaviour is absolutely foul. Really awful and we are tearing out hair out in despair. Then magically, he settles down and is more manageable again.

I think he is unsure and this is his way of dealing with it. I tend to just make it clear what is acceptable and what is not. Stick to discipline firmly and offer lots of opportunities to talk, cuddle etc.

Fingers crossed the phase passes soon for you.

[Jemima1415]

My 2 year old started nursery less than a month now and he's acting BADLY! Strangling his brother, attempting to do it to everyone he meets too now; not listening to requests at all etc. He's finding it hard to sleep aswell and tonight woke up screaming 'leave me alone leave me alone'. However, he tells me every morning he wants to go to nursery. Should i be worried...? Please help!