Dd is 4.5 and is terrified of anything that flys.
With having the windows open.at night flies obviously come in and when we get up in the morning I have to get everything out of the house before she will come down, I have a 6 week old and its just getting ridiculous.
If theres a fly near or anything comes into the house she has a huge meltdown.
Iv tried everything from showing her the bugs to getting her to just close her eyes so thismorning I refused to do anything.
She was upstairs and wouldn't come down because there was a fly on the wall so I told her to just walk past it, she refused and started a screaming match (dad in bed after a night shift and newborn trying to sleep) but I stuck to my guns and wanted her to see she would be ok if she walked past (thought I could do a well done aren't u brave bit afterwards)
After half an hour of her screaming upstairs iv just lost my temper and carried her down the stairs kicking and screaming.
What can I do? I can't keep flies away from her at all times.
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at the end of my teather..
ditsydoll · 20/07/2013 09:18
DS has been just like this lately (he's 2.6 and I don't think he noticed them last summer) with flies, moths and wasps - I'd go so far as to call it a panic attack, he screams, his heart beats madly through his chest, he can't breathe properly and he clings to me if I am close by. I have got him a book on bugs with a magnifying glass as he loves learning about stuff, the other thing I've been doing is encouraging him to take some deep breaths in through his nose, out through his mouth and making eye contact with me instead of seeking out the fly. I'm praising him hugely if he manages any sense of calm whilst obviously scared. I've also been explaining what happens in your body when you feel anxious and that you have to tell your body it's not an emergency. I suffer with anxiety and I'm pretty sure he does too. these techniques are starting to work for us. apparently a child needs to see you calmly modeling the correct behaviour something like 20 times before they understand they're not under threat, so I am trying to stay sympathetic and reassuring with lots of cuddles and praise. I read online somewhere (because I thought previously that the only natural fears were falling and loud noises) that a fear of bugs is one of the things that would keep our early ancestors alive and able to continue our species, those who were not afraid may not have made it to adulthood (not quite sure if flies were dangerous back then or what but it's reassuring) - I think remaining calm is key, show the behaviour you want to see because however silly or over-the-top it seems to us it is a very real fear to our children 
My dd used to be like this. I talked about the flies as little characters, and she used to refer to 'my friend the fly'. She was still anxious, but it took the edge off it most of the time. She also used to pretend to be a frog, to see if she could scare them 
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