'gentle parenting' book for toddlers

[Nyunya]

I've read a few of the gentle parenting-type books (please don't shoot me down, I'd like a better phrase to describe the approach we're trying to take, surely most parents don't aim to be rough with their children, but this seems to be the phrase that most people understand without having to elaborate), including 'how to talk...' which is great, and 'respectful parents, respectful kids' which is also helpful.

However, they all seem to be aimed at parenting older children, and I have a just-starting-to-say-a-few-words 21 month old. There's a reasonable number of responsive parenting books about parenting babies, but these don't seem to deal with toddlers either!

Anyone know of any books of this ilk which are more aimed at dealing with toddlers and their specific developmental needs?

TIA

[DorisShutt]

1,2,3 Magic seems to work for mine when I remember through the haze of red mist descending.

Essentially you count to get them to stop doing things and there is an instant consequence - at the end of which the matter is never discussed again.

Took a while, but I rarely have to get to 2 these days.

[dreamingbohemian]

The Karp book, I think it's Happiest Toddler on the Block? Very helpful for us

[notadoctor]

I'd second the Happiest Toddler on the Block. Lots of good ideas in there.

[Nyunya]

Thanks everyone, apologies for the late reply, meant to check back in before I had to go out for the afternoon.

Thank you for the recommendations, I'll look forward to reading them - have requested 123 from the local library and about to order Happiest Toddler!

Doris the whole counting thing is quite funny, my mum used that method right up until we left home at 18 (shoes how disobedient we were!) but she only had to get 'the look' in her eye and she usually managed "OOOOONE!" before we jumped to it!

Do keep posting ideas!

[fififrog]

I just posted on another thread about a book by Carlos Gonzales called My Child Won't Eat, but he has another book called something like Kiss Me which is about more general parenting and covers a range of ages.

[RichInBunlyGoodness]

I really like unconditional parenting by Alfie Kohn. Its more theoretical than practical but really helped me to think about the kind of parent I wanted to be. It doesn't deal with any particular age specifically but the philosophy can be applied to any age. Its not everyone's cup of tea but there quite a few summaries kicking around if you google so you can see if it seems like your kind of thing before commiting.

[Hobblethwaite]

What about this?

ToddlerCalm: A guide for calmer toddlers and happier parents
amazon.co.uk/dp/0349401055?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

It's got great reviews.

[happydutchmummy]

I really liked a book called playful parenting. I think it's by Lawrence Cohen but not too sure. It's all about why children play (to learn about the world, to process their emotions, etc) and how you can use play to diffuse situations rather than through conflict. It's not specifically for toddlers, or older kids, or anything, its more to get you thinking about how you as a parent can use play to interact better with your child.

[NutsinMay]

I second Playful Parenting. It's probably the best parenting book I ever read( and I've read a few) and I often go back to it. Whilst some of the terminology is disctinctly American (nothing wrong with that but terms like rough housing or some of the psycho babble " towers of isolation" etc might put some people off), and some of the goofiness might strike you as a bit OTT, it is such a warm, caring book
written with a real sense of fun, I defy you not to be moved and inspired by much of it.

[Nyunya]

Ooo thanks for the further suggestions.

fifi I have recently read 'Kiss Me' and also read 'My Child Won't Eat', both of which I thought fantastic particularly as dd didn't really swallow any solids till she got her first two molars at 16 months I love Dr Gonzales' writing: lighthearted and funny, he's good at helping to see things from child's point of view - though I think I'm looking for something a bit more practical at the moment.

Rich I have also read 'Unconditional Parenting' and enjoyed it, though, as you say, quite theory-based and light on the practical side. It gave me the words I needed to explain to others what I was trying to achieve/avoid with dd! I think I'm looking for something more practical at the moment - but its one of those ones I check back to every now and then.

Hobble, vaguely remember coming across babycalm when dd was small, no courses around here, I think, but remember that they had just published/were publishing a book, so will pre-order the toddlercalm book I think - thanks for the suggestion!

Happy and Nuts yes I got half way through Playful Parenting - I think I read it when dd was still pretty young so its definitely worth re-visiting, as much more of it will be more relevant now. Totally get what you're saying about the Americanness of it, takes a bit of getting used to, but great principles and reminder how important relaxing into parenting is!

Ah, well good that I already have a few of your suggestions - shows me I need to dig them out again and re-read

[Bouncey]

I have been wondering the same thing, so thanks for the great suggestions! I have a lovely 18 month old who can say a few words and is generally very well behaved, but is beginning to have a few tantrums. She's not ready for the naughty step, and I can't really reason with her, but I'd like to avoid getting into bad habits. As you say, all the books seem to be aimed at older children.

[llamallama]

Have you looked at "no cry discipline solution" by Elizabeth Pantley?

Some great (and gentle) approaches for toddlers in there!