I am finding it hard to draw consistent boundaries for my strong willed 5 year old daughter - I gave up telling her what to wear at about 2 - it was too much of a struggle and I figured - pick your fights - but since she started year one and is in a mixed class with years 2s, the pressure is pretty relentless, specially to have makeup - she's obsessed! She loves this drapey grey cardigan - a mini version of what a 40 year old would have (me, I guess!), has a handbag (I did give it to her from a jumble, but it was meant to be for the dressing up box!) with an old phone, lipstick (sort of - I gave in and bought her a 'party' box), a perfume bottle etc in. She and her friends love Barbie (I know what's new!) and she seems to be their role-model - I asked and she said she thinks all women should look like that. I asked her about why she likes makeup and she said she thinks it makes her look prettier, which we discussed. I tell her she's beautiful quite often - just "hi beautiful daughter" that kind of thing and obvs I said she didn't need it when we chatted about it.
I bought this box with vaugely pink lipsalve in, 'body glitter' play tattoos and nail varnish - I was feeling expansive and easy and didn't check what was i there too closely - now she wants MORE for her birthday. One of her friends has a makeup set with proper lipstick in, though two of her other friends are not allowed it at all. I confiscated the nail varnish, but I noticed she'd got hold of it again today.
She's also being what I call 'a proper little madam' a lot of the time, and really pushing me in many ways regarding helping out, paddies and mini tantrums about stuff, insisting on stuff until I''m ready to break. I know you may think I'm being incredibly inflexible, but it seems so sad that she's trying to be so old, indoorsy, mini-adult, when she should be running around being a kid! I want her to be able to express herself, and I don't want to say no all the time, but this is wearing me down. I guess you could say I'm dismayed because she's not more like me - I was a tomboy when I was a kid, I paint for a living and am often in work clothes - that would be a valid criticism, but it's more I see her childhood flashing by and the teen years creeping closer and she's only five!! I am a lone parent and we don't have a great garden, her friends have horses and huge places (and dads) so I feel pretty insecure that I'm not giving her a good childhood - nothing like the one I had anyway!! Has anyone else here struggled with these issues? (confused)
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Behaviour/development
precocious 5 year old DD - wants makeup, grownup everything!
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barefoot · 28/04/2013 22:40
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